


End of The Beginning

by aidxxnnsficss, JellyJoy



Category: super danganronpa 2: goodbye despair
Genre: ?? - Freeform, Alcohol Usage, Angst, Bromance, Crime, Criminal acts, Fluff, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, I FORGOT KAHDKSFK, M/M, Near-Death Experience, be careful!!, but its deeper than that dw kafjkskf, hospital stay, idk - Freeform, including rapists and pedophiles, its talk of past self harm, just be careful bbys, keep in mind theres mentions of a lot of criminal acts, ko is a serial killer, no self harm actions written, oh yeah and, referenced sexual content, self harm warning, serial killer au, slowburn, u heard me right, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-07-22 18:40:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 43,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19967932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aidxxnnsficss/pseuds/aidxxnnsficss, https://archiveofourown.org/users/JellyJoy/pseuds/JellyJoy
Summary: Hinata Hajime has always been completely and utterly average. He has never done anything extraordinary: got average grades, had an average family, went to average schools. His life was nothing special, just completely average. But that wasn’t the only thing average about him: even his own appearance was nothing special. Average body type, casual clothing, brown hair, green eyes. There was nothing special to see or experience with him.He honestly couldn’t tell if he was content with that or not.———but we all know hinatas oh-so normal life will change soon :))))))





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! im aiden, and this is my first work on ao3!! ive been writing for years, but this is my first time publishing on this site :’) i used to be on wattpad, but we dont speak of those times hhhhgrhrhaksjdkskdhddk
> 
> anyway i hope you like fluff, angst, and a dash of slowburn becuz this shit is a mess UwU
> 
> EDIT: NOW UPDATING MONDAYS, WEDNESDAYS, AND FRIDAYS

Hinata Hajime has always been completely and utterly average. He has never done anything extraordinary: got average grades, had an average family, went to average schools. His life was nothing special, just completely average. But that wasn’t the only thing average about him: even his own appearance was nothing special. Average body type, casual clothing, brown hair, green eyes. There was nothing special to see or experience with him.

He honestly couldn’t tell if he was content with that or not.

“Hinata-kun.”

Hinata snapped to attention, dropping his chopsticks into his half empty bowl of rice in the process.

“A-ah,” he stuttered, smiling sheepishly, looking over at the girl across from him. “Sorry, Nanami-san, I kinda spaced out.”

There was a beat of silence before Nanami spoke again. “That’s okay,” she calmly replied, going back to playing her handheld game. “Are you tired?”

“A bit,” Hinata sighed, running his hand through his spiked hair, completely forgetting about his meal. “College has been… interesting, to say the least.”

Nanami giggled a bit, a small smile of amusement on her pink lips. “You always say that, Hinata-kun.”

“Because it’s true!” Hinata let out a breathy laugh. “I mean… all my classes are just so frustrating, especially when two of your professors decide to schedule a huge test at the same time.”

“Mm,” Nanami hummed. “That doesn’t sound fun. Are you handling it well?”

“Not really,” he sighed. “I’ve been trying to study both subjects—which are algebra and physics—but it’s super hard to cram loads of studying into my already busy schedule.” Hinata rested his chin in his palm, his lip out in a pout. “I kinda need to work and eat and sleep, I can’t study 24/7.”

“I know, Hinata-kun,” Nanami paused her game to reach out and gently pat Hinata’s arm. “I hope everything goes well.”

“I do, too,” Hinata looked out the window they sat next to in the small café, watching the cars rush down the street, a bus passing by as well. “I’d ask you for help, but you’re not in my classes  _ or _ my school.”

“Mm,” Nanami furrowed her eyebrows, pursing her lips in thought. “I would, too, if I could. I’m not very good at physics, and algebra can be a bit much.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Nanami-san,” Hinata said, looking back to the pastel-pink haired girl. “I know you get anxious about this stuff.”

“Mm… okay,” she looked down for a moment, before quickly looking back up at Hinata, a gleam in her soft eyes. “Couldn’t one of our friends help…?”

Hinata smiled softly, admiring her. “Nanami-san, I’m okay. I’ve been talking with my classmates, and even though they aren’t  _ ideal _ tutorers,”—Hinata had to stop himself from grimacing at the memory of one students  _ horrible _ flirting that caused him to leave early due to his discomfort.—“...They try their best. I’m sure I’ll manage.”

“Are you sure, Hinata-kun…?” Nanami questioned, tilting her head. “Souda-kun would be able to help… I think,” The girl then yawned, visibly shifting to huddle deeper into her hoodie. Nanami always reminded Hinata of a tired kitten: cute and small, but completely exhausted all of the time.

“I’m sure, Nanami-san,” Hinata smiled brightly, trying his best to lessen her worries. Even though Nanami could be hard to read sometimes, the brunette has known her long enough and well enough to recognize that look in her eyes when she grew concerned. “I can manage. I’m not 13 anymore.”

Nanami smiled. “Okay,” she replied, unpausing her game and starting to play once again. “Just let me or Souda-kun know if you need help at all.” she paused, furrowing her eyebrows and leaning forward towards the small screen in her hand. “But only let me know for emotional support.”

Hinata chuckled. “Yeah, yeah, I know.”

**——**

“Okay, but seriously, this guy drives me crazy.”

“Mhm…”

Hinata and Nanami had headed back to the brunettes apartment to hang out a bit more. Hinata’s apartment wasn’t fancy or anything, but it was decently comfortable. He lived alone (which he had no problem with… privacy is really nice after long days, which was basically everyday): a single bedroom and bathroom, small kitchen and living room, only the essentials. His paycheck wasn’t too pretty, but it was enough to pay for his small space. That’s really all he could ask for. He’d really rather not live in dorms, despite them being much cheaper. Roommates are randomly picked, he had no say in it, and  _ my God, _ he really didn’t need to end up with some guy who constantly (and shamelessly) brings girls back to their shared room.

The afternoon soon had turned to dusk as the pair talked comfortably, the sky painted in watercolors of blues, pinks and purples. The sun silhouettes the city’s buildings, shining around corners, desperate to stay above the horizon. Stars had only just started sparkling in the sky, but they still remained dim, awaiting total darkness to shine brighter.

With a heavy sigh, Hinata ran his hand down his face, groaning a bit. “It’s just completely exhausting to be grouped together with that asshole,” He rolled his eyes. “I didn’t even bother to remember his name.”

“...With how you’ve described him, Hinata-kun,” Nanami calmly replied, playing with Hinata’s hair, his head in her lap as they sat on the couch. “I wouldn’t care to remember his name either… probably.”

“Yeah…” Hinata murmured, looking up at Nanami. She looked back at him and smiled softly, then playfully tugged on his ahoge. “ _ Hey. _ ”

She giggled a bit. “I have to head back to my own dorm, Hinata-kun,” Nanami hummed, patting the brunettes head as if he were a dog. “Talk tomorrow…?”

“Sure,” He stood up with Nanami and lead her to the front door. “Thanks for listening to my, uh…  _ bullshit. _ ”

“I’m happy to listen to my friend, Hinata-kun,” she smiled, leaning in and hugging him. The brunette hugged her back. “It doesn’t bother me at all.”

Hinata smiled and bid her goodnight, closing the door as his friend left.

The brunette ran his hand through his hair after locking the door, plopping back down on the couch and grabbing the remote for his TV. He flipped through the channels lazily, chin in hand. Maybe he’d watch something until he passed out. He didn’t have any classes tomorrow anyway, which was nice, since it’d be a Saturday. He didn’t need to get up at 7 AM.

As he flipped through the channels on screen, he caught a glimpse of the news station, instantly recognizing that…  _ mask. _ Hinata fumbled with the remote and switched back to the channel.

“—Ultimate Hope has struck again, murdering two wanted criminals,” the reporter on screen announced, having that blank expression all those people on the news had. “The two victims were serial rapists with a total of five assault victims. They had been able to evade police for almost two months, adding another victim to their record while on the run.” The woman glanced over to the side, doing a double-take, hesitating for a moment before waving someone offscreen over. A man with headphones appeared and whispered to the reporter, and she visibly swallowed, going a bit pale.

Hinata leaned forward, intrigued, curious as to what made the woman appear so…  _ distraught _ .

The man then rushed off screen and the reporter cleared her throat. “It seems we’ve received exclusive information about The Ultimate Hope’s recent murders,” she adjusted in her seat, obviously uncomfortable, but trying to keep it together. “The Ultimate Hope had left an encrypted drive on the crime scene inside one of the victims necks. Police have opened it and found that the serial killer has requested for this message to be delivered to the public.” She took a deep breath, and the screen switched to the text from the message. She then read it aloud:

“‘Hello. I have decided to send out a message that I will be a bit less careful with my movements to make this chase more interesting. Many of you may begin to spot me, but do keep in mind that your reports to the police will remain useless. I will be long gone by the time you’re able to communicate with authorities. This is only for the purpose of excitement. I hope the people of this city will be just as excited as I am!

And I’d also like to clear up a misunderstanding. Some recent victims have been labeled ‘innocent’, but I’d like to assure you that the only people who fall victim to my blade are the breeding grounds of despair. Truly innocent and hope-filled citizens will never face me, so do not worry. And no, I do not make mistakes. I never have, and never will. All the lives ended by me have been people of evil; Their only purpose was to spread despair. I’d be delighted and honored if you beautiful souls would begin to understand my purpose: to spread hope and peace!

Sincerely,

The Ultimate Hope’.”

The screen faded back to the reporter, who had seemed to calm down.

“Authorities highly encourage all witnesses of The Ultimate Hope to be reported immediately,” the reporter added before the camera switched to another reporter. Hinata quickly lost interest as they talked about the weather, switching off the TV.

The Ultimate Hope had been around for a few years now. They didn’t know who they were, their age, what they looked like, nothing. They had appeared one day wearing a mask of blood red tears with a white and red spear. And the message the killer just sent out wasn’t a lie; They only did kill people guilty of horrid acts. They had killed rapists, other murderers, pedophiles, harrassors, anyone who “spread despair”, whatever that meant. Crime acts have actually decreased a bit in the past few years due to fear of The Ultimate Hope. They were creative with how they killed. It wasn’t a simple stab and leave, no, no. Stabbings, shootings, poison, cut arteries so the victim would slowly bleed out… The Ultimate Hope showed no mercy to “those of despair”.

Hinata suddenly felt super exhausted and yawned heavily. He stood up and wandered to his room, changing into more comfortable clothes before lying down in bed, pulling the blankets over his body. He gazed out the window, thoughts of the mysterious Ultimate Hope circling his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh no hinata what did you get yourself into?? :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im tired and got angery(tm) becuz that format was fucked up so im adding another chapter to fix it have fun

Every station on television had gone over The Ultimate Hope’s recent killings  _ at least _ twice.

Hinata could only imagine how pleased the killer must be with this attention. Because, like… they literally  _ asked _ for it, and they’ve been getting loads more than usual. The Ultimate Hope usually didn’t speak out to the public, they had only done so a few times, excluding yesterday’s incident. It usually just had to do with the whole “I only kill people of despair” and shit like that. The person behind that nightmarish mask, whoever they were, had a twisted way of thinking. They claim they’re trying to spread “peace” and “hope”, but they’re doing so through murdering people? Yeah, Hinata was pretty sure that wasn’t the best way to go about things.

Nonetheless, The Ultimate Hope had collected quite the following since their first appearance. Many people are loyal to extreme degrees, while many others quietly say with each murder, “the asshole had it coming”. Hinata  _ guesses _ the fact that the serial killer only kills horrible people wasn’t something he’d  _ completely  _ protest against, as much as he wishes to not think like that. The Ultimate Hope may be twisted and a little  _ too _ passionate, but their values were somewhat in the right place. They  _ despised _ these “people of despair”, ending everything before the criminal could make things worse. Hinata couldn’t help himself but be relieved. With what many of the brunette’s friends have been through, it’s not  _ bad _ to see these disgusting people gone, even though Hinata scolds himself whenever he thinks such things.

He doesn’t want to wish death on people, he really doesn’t. But sometimes… sometimes it’s hard to feel sorry for a bad person getting what they… well, what they  _ deserved _ . And he wasn’t the only one: Tanaka, Souda, Owari and Saionji are just a few of Hinata’s friends who would openly say they’re just fine with a certain victim being dead. Especially Saionji. She was shameless when it came to these types of things.

Hinata thought all of this over and over again as he browsed the groceries on the shelves. He ran his fingers along the shelf’s edge, looking for the specific brand of bread he’d usually purchase. He finally found it and took a single bag off of the shelf, setting it into the basket he had with him. He turned to leave, looking up and away from the lined shelves, only for someone to catch his eye.

He looked over at the end of the aisle to find a person, just leaning up against the last shelf. Soon enough, the person looks over at him, those grey eyes locking with green. The man had his hood up, but his light, messy hair still hung in his eyes and framed his face. He stood in just the right spot that it was a bit difficult to make out every detail because of the shelves shadow. He was pale and lean, his hands in his pockets, a drawstring bag slung over his shoulder.

The boy smiled ever so softly, and Hinata shivered at the look the other was giving him. Hinata blinked, only looking away for a split second, and the boy was gone. Just like that.  _ Gone. Disappeared. _

What the fuck?

Was he hallucinating or something…? Was that a fucking  _ ghost? _ The guy looked so real, but… he was gone within seconds. He must’ve only been there for ten seconds while facing Hinata. The brunette felt unsettled, deciding to grab just a few oranges before rushing out of the store.

Hinata approached the cash register, paying quickly as he glanced around, growing a bit paranoid. The employee in front of him was giving him a weird look the entire time. He walked out of the store after bagging the food he purchased and continued on to walk home. He felt a bit more relaxed as he walked further away from the store and closer to his apartment, just wanting to lay down and sleep until he had to get up for a class once again. He let himself just focus on the sounds of cars driving by and people talking as they passed by. The brunette just needed to calm down.

As much as he didn’t want to, he decided to take the shortcut to his place. It went through a couple alleys, which got  _ really _ creepy at night, but he was in a hurry, so he found he’s just have to suck it up and go.

He walked quietly, passing by abandoned furniture and litter near garbage containers. As he moved on, however, he heard quick footsteps pass behind him. Hinata whirled around, eyes wide and heart jumping. God, he swore he’d get  _ so _ pissed off if it was those fucking high schoolers again. He’d run into them a few times, and the only thing they’d do was smoke and scare anyone who passed through their “territory”, as they called it. The kids were barely intimidating, but it was later in the night and Hinata was tired and  _ he just wanted to go home. _

Green eyes flicked around, searching for the source of the sound.

“Fuck,” He rolled his eyes. “If it’s you guys again, I’m seriously going to call the police on your asses.”

Silence. The only thing he heard was the slight echo from his own words and a car driving past in the short distance he was from the sidewalk.

“Shit, whatever,” he murmured,  _ right _ as he heard muffled voices.

“—around here somewhere!” Came a deep voice. Okay, so,  _ definitely  _ not those kids. “Find that killer!”

… _ Killer? _

“Oh sh—“ As if he jinxed it, he was suddenly grabbed from behind and pulled into a divot in the alley. Hinata was about to scream, but a gloved hand roughly covered his mouth. He attempted to bite the person's hand, but couldn’t  _ quite _ catch the skin between his teeth. All he got was the taste of fake leather. Hinata tried to struggle, then clawing at the person’s arm, but the limb around him only squeezed him even tighter.

“Be quiet,” a smooth, level voice whispered right into Hinata’s ear, sending shivers up and down the brunettes spine. “Unless you want the police to shoot you. Then be my guest to run out there.” The vibration of those words on Hinata’s jawline made him uncomfortable and he squirmed, but didn’t try to get out of the person’s grip anymore. With Hinata’s silent consent, the person hummed in approval before backing further in the divot, sending them deeper into darkness. Hinata stumbled and held his breath, the words from the person holding him  _ and _ the police officers loud order finally sinking in.

_ ‘Unless you want the police to shoot you.’ _

_ ‘Find that killer!’ _

He dropped his bag of food. Was The Ultimate Hope behind him? Was there a fucking  _ serial killer  _ holding him hostage?

Hinata slowly turned his head just enough to look at the person behind him, wanting to see their face, wanting to  _ not _ see the bloody-tear streaked mask.

But that's exactly what he saw. Two upturned eyes, as if the mask was smiling an invisible grin, those two red streaks trailing down from each eye. Hinata’s eyes widened, only panicking more so when he spots the huge spear slung over the person’s shoulder. He moved his hand slightly, only to have his hand run over a belt of knives and… grenades?

Hinata gulped audibly, letting out a whimper despite trying to hold it in.

“Hush,” the killer hummed, their chest vibrating against Hinata’s back as they spoke. “I won’t hurt you.”

Hinata didn’t trust that at all, but okay, whatever, he just needed to live long enough to get home.

Quick footsteps and flashlights grew closer, orders shouted out and “clear!”s being reported. Suddenly there where running footsteps and a tall man in a hoodie ran past Hinata and the killer holding him.

“Get ‘em!” A few officers ran past them, completely missing the pair in the darkness. “Don’t let ‘em get away!”

There was sudden barking and a big dog wearing a vest ran past, quickly followed by a yelp and shout from a man, someone falling to the ground.

“Don’t move! Hands above your head! Now!”

“Wh-who was—“ Hinata words were completely muffled by the thin, gloved hand over his mouth, but the person forcefully embracing him seemed to understand.

“Just a local harasser. He beats up the homeless for fun,” The voice behind him whispered. “I set him up to be the bait.” The voice paused. “And he might just have poison pulsing through his veins as we speak.”

“Wa—“

There was more shouting, a few guns clicking. A dog growled and barked loudly, causing Hinata to flinch at the volume.

“There’s someone else here! Find them!”

And with that, Hinata’s torso was squeezed tighter, his feet leaving the ground and he was pretty sure he was going to die. The hand covering his mouth was removed and the brunette caught a glimpse of the white and red spear. There were gunshots and more shouting, the dog barking and snarling. Hinata was dropped onto hard, uncomfortable paving, and he finally realized he was on the roof of the building the pair had been backed up against, not the alleys concerte. 

“Get up,” the leveled voice ordered, a gloved hand was held out to him to help the brunette up. “Unless you wish to be accused of mass murder.”

Hinata grabbed the hand in front of him and he was yanked forward, forced to travel in a dead sprint. He was basically about to faint as he was forced to hop over the spaces between buildings.

The masked murderer lead him to a fire escape and basically jumped off, grabbing Hinata to support him since he obviously wasn’t used to  _ jumping off fucking buildings. _ They landed on the ground, and the masked person turned to the brunette.

“I’d be happy if you’d tell me where you live,” The voice behind the mask exclaimed, sounding completely calm and carefree.

“ _ Fuck no! _ ” Hinata wheezed, scared out of his mind. “You’re gonna fucking kill me—“

“I can leave you here if you like, but as I said before, you’ll be accused of mass murder,” the voice laughed lightly and Hinata was in shock at how calm this person was right now.

“Jesus Christ,” Hinata felt like he was going to vomit. “Apartment building across the street, sixth floor—“

“Perfect!”

And with that one word, Hinata was once again yanked forward and  _ right into fucking traffic this person is fucking suicidal oh my God— _

Screeching brakes and cars honking rang loud and clear around the pair as they ran, the killers iron grip still locked in Hinata’s.

They reached the other side of the street and once more dipped into a dark alleyway. The person leading him was obviously taking a longer way to the building, probably trying to throw the authorities off of their tail; However, Hinata had no idea where they were going and seriously he was going to  _ throw up this is insane. _ This person had to know the city inside and out.

The brunette didn’t know how long they had been running, but soon enough, the pair reached the back of Hinata’s apartment building. The person released Hinata’s hand and literally started  _ climbing the fucking fire escape like it was nothing. _ The other sighed heavily before running up the stairs as fast as possible.

“Which window?” The killer shouted down.

“God, be quiet!” Hinata hushed, terrified and pissed off. He then hesitantly pointed to a window quite a distance away from the fire escape. “W-we can’t reach it though, it’s meters away from the stairs—“

“It’s no problem!” The Ultimate Hope happily replied. “Just hold onto the edge!”

“ _ What?! _ ” Hinata gaped at them. “ _ Are you fuc— _ “

“Ha, maybe a little,” The masked killed chuckled breathily before jumping on the brick edge of the building. The foothold had to only be a few inches.

“Oh my God,” Hinata breathed. “I’m gonna pass out.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t do that!” The killer turned to look at Hinata. “That’s very dangerous!”

“I can’t get over there because I  _ will _ pass out!” Hinata hissed, panicking even more than before.

“Here, I’m happy to help!” The killer then looked down. “Uh oh, I think you need to hurry. The police are coming, heh…”

Hinata growled in frustration, digging his nails into his scalp. “God, fine, fine! H-help me over…”

The other person swung their spear back onto their back. “Great! Grab my hand!” They opened the window with a swift movement and held out their hand to Hinata. “I promise I won’t let you fall. I’d rather die than do that.”

“There’s no need for you to s-say that…” Hinata muttered, taking hold of the others hand again.

The Ultimate Hope lead the other onto the small edge and eased them both into the apartment. Their hands supported Hinata, gripping tighter when he slipped a bit. So, of course, Hinata was quite surprised with how gentle and patient they were… especially since they were kind of a  _ serial killer. _ Y’know, someone who’s very violent and doesn’t show much mercy, if any at all.

The masked murderer closed the window behind them and then went on to stretch their arms above their head, back to the brunette.

“Ahh…” they sighed, and Hinata shuffled his feet, eyes glued to the floor because  _ no. _

“If you don’t mind, I might need to stay awhile,” The masked person turned to Hinata, resting a hand on their hip. “I’d prefer to not be caught so early into this exciting time! This is truly pushing the grounds of hope  _ and _ despair.”

“I have no idea what you mean by that,” Hinata groaned, plopping down on the couch, furthest away from the killer. He rubbed his face, trying to calm his pounding heart.

“Hm… that’s to be expected,” the other shook their head, sounding a bit disappointed. “But… I do feel a hope within you that’s much stronger than I’ve ever encountered.” Hinata watched in confusion as the person hugged themselves and rocked side to side just a bit. “Ah… just thinking about it makes me so,  _ so _ tingly!”

“O-okay, you’re really freaking me out,” Hinata stuttered. “Why… why do you want to stay here anyway? Do you want to kill me? Please don’t, I really like being alive and I kind of have friends I’d like to see tomorrow—“

“I don’t kill the hope in this wonderful world,” The persons arms fell to their sides and they sounded  _ insulted. _ “You are an innocent! A hopeful citizen here for peace! I’d never even lay a finger on you.”

“You already have.”

“You see, those were for safety reasons,” the killer sighed heavily, pulling down their hood and running their fingers through their hair. “If you don’t wish for me to touch you, I won’t. I only act on the people who possess despair, breeding that despair inside of them and trying to spread such a horrid creation like the plague.” They paused, then moved towards Hinata, leaning towards him,  _ much too close. _ “You… you are hope. I haven’t met someone like you in quite some time. I’m…  _ honored. _ ”

Hinata flushed pink in embarrassment, taken aback and shocked. He fidgeted but couldn’t seem to rip his eyes away from those painted black voids.

“As…” Hinata swallowed dry air. “As long… as you don’t hurt me… you can stay…” He paused. “But if the police find me, I will personally kill you.” Hinata tried to sound threatening, but the cracking and doubt in his voice gave it away that he’d probably just faint instead.

“Someone like you killing me…” the serial killer stood up straight, breathing a heavy sigh as they wrung their hands together. “If you want to, I have no problem with it. Your hope is so strong, if you—“

“Okay, that’s enough!” Hinata shot up out of his seat and rushed past the murderer. What was  _ wrong _ with him? Why was he letting a fucking  _ serial killer stay in his own home? _ “Just… don’t come in my room. Stay out here, er… wh-whatever.”

“Of course!” The other clapped their hands together, bowing their head. “Your hospitality will be greatly appreciated and rewarded!”

“Wh—“

You know what? He’s just gonna go to bed, this wasn’t even worth his energy. He’ll figure things out when he actually  _ has _ energy. The brunette just wanted to sleep.

“Uh…” Hinata started, standing in his doorway and looking to the floor. “G’night, I guess…”

“You too!” The killer cheerfully waved as they sat down on the couch.

Hinata locked his bedroom door (better safe than sorry) and laid down in his bed. Then he remembered he dropped his groceries in the alleyway.

“Great,” the brunette murmured, kicking off his shoes. “This just keeps getting better and better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol komaedas wild


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lol hinata pieces shit together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my friends birthday party was yesterday and it was super rad lmaO anyway enjoy hinata being pissed and ko being a bit flirty

Hinata’s eyes fluttered open from his dreamless slumber to his alarm going off, loud and blaring and God,  _ why? _ He clenched his teeth and buried his face into his pillow, silently screaming as he felt around his night stand and  _ finally _ hit the off button. The brunette sighed and slowly sat up, already aware his hair was a mess and immediately started to mess with it. Hinata rubbed his eyes as he stood up, still coming out of the haze from sleep. He wandered to the bathroom, yawning, then taking out a hair brush and gel. He ran the brush through his hair a few times then set it down, grabbing the product and running a bit through the strands. It didn’t look amazing, but he was presentable enough, which was really all he needed. The brunette walked back out into his room after half-heartedly brushing his teeth and changed into new clothes, slowly waking up fully as he prepared for the day.

He turned the knob on his door, only to find it locked. He furrowed his eyebrows, confused, slowly unlocking it and opening the door.

And the previous night came rushing back to him once he saw a white and red hoodie lying over the couchs’ arm, and a white haired person lying on the cushions, playing with a dagger.

That’s right. He had a serial killer in his apartment.

“You’re still here…?” Hinata squeaked, clutching the edges of his T-shirt. “I… I thought you would’ve gone by now…”

As he spoke, Hinata’s eyes wandered, and he then noticed the white and red mask lying on the floor. Y’know,  _ not  _ on The Ultimate Hope’s face. Hypothetical situations sped through the brunettes head, all variations of him trying to take the mask away and forcing the murderer to reveal their identity. 

“Oh, I apologize,” the killer remained facing away from the brunette, picking up their mask and snapping the string over their head, moving their hair out from under the string so the white strands could hang freely. Only then did they turn to look at the other. “Did I overstay my welcome?”

So much for revealing their identity. Damn it.

“I… uh…” Hinata glanced around and decided to slowly back into his kitchen to grab a bit of a meal before heading out to his three classes. “I mean… like… shit—um. I don’t think s-so…?”

“Ah, you’re fearful of upsetting me, aren’t you?” The masked person pulled their legs up to the cushions of the couch, crossing them. “You can be honest. I won’t be upset. Disappointed, but not upset.” They paused, probably expecting an answer, but then sighed and continued. “I won’t do anything, if that’s what you happen to be worried about.”

“Y-yeah, th-that’s exactly what I’m worried about,” Hinata spit out before he could stop himself. He cringed, grabbing onto the kitchen counter behind him, fumbling to find the knife drawer.

“If you wish for me to leave, I can,” the killer then sighed dramatically and rested their chin in their palm. “It’s just so dangerous in clear daylight! I’d be so unhappy to witness this game come to an end so soon…”

Hinata gave them the weirdest look he could muster, all thoughts of grabbing a weapon to defend himself gone. “Okay, now you’re acting plain ridiculous,” Hinata started, an eyebrow raised. “Your killings aren’t some kinda ‘game’, it’s just…”—Hinata waved his hands in circles looking for a better word, but  _ completely  _ failing.—“ _ wrong _ to call it that. It’s not right… um…”

“You can call me Hope,” Hope replied, happiness lacing their voice. “And you are…?”

“...That doesn’t—!” Hinata sighed heavily, rubbing his temples in frustration. “Hinata.”

“Hinata…?” Hope pushed for his full name.

“...Hajime,” He sighed.

“Ah, what a pretty name,” The killer purred, leaning forward a bit in interest. “You may continue with your lecture.”

Hinata swore he was ready to strangle this person.

“There’s no point now,” The brunette sighed, relaxing his shoulders in defeat.

“Oh?” The other cocked their head to the side, seemingly curious.

“Just…” Hinata turned away and went about preparing cereal. He needed something to eat, and he’d wasted enough time already. “Nevermind.”

A tense and unnerving silence wiggled itself into the air and latched on like a leech, sucking all feelings of safety away. The only sound present was cereal hitting the bottom of the bowl in front of Hinata and milk then being poured. He took a spoon in hand from the drawer next to him, grabbed his bowl and turned, only to be scared out of his mind at the sight of Hope sitting at the counter, gazing at the brunette, cheek resting in their hand.

“ _ Jesus fuck! _ ” Hinata flinched, spoon clattering to the floor and milk spilling a bit over the edge of the ceramic. “How the hell do you make, like,  _ zero _ noise all the time?”

Hope only shrugged. “It takes quite a bit of practice, and it’s only become habit since I’m constantly running from the police,” They paused, moving their head away from their hand. “Speaking of the police… why haven’t you called them yet? Any logical person would’ve done that immediately last night!”

“I…” Honestly, the only reason he could come up with was the fear the killer would find out and then murder  _ him _ , but other than that, nothing came to mind. He thought more as he set his bowl down on the counter and picked up the spoon, tossing it into the sink to wash later, grabbing a new one out of the drawer. He has a small-ass silverware set, but he’s the only one eating, so it didn’t really matter. “I mean… you’re kinda terrifying, so I’m not doing anything because I’m scared you’ll kill me. And yes, I know you said you only kill ‘people of despair’ or whatever, but no offense, it’s hard as hell to trust a serial killer.”

“...Understandable,” Hope looked down, messing with their fingers. “I wish I could convince you to trust me.”—They looked back up to Hinata, leaning forward again in interest.—“Is there anything I can do…?”

“Huh?” Hinata was dumbfounded. Here, in his own kitchen, a serial killer, standing right across the counter from him, was giving him the offer for  _ The Ultimate Hope _ to do anything for him.

“I mean it!” Hope exclaimed, holding their hands out for emphasis. “You’re very special, Hinata Hajime, and I don’t need to know you well to know that for a fact. Your eyes gleam with the hope inside you. I can only  _ imagine _ the things you’re capable of!”

“I think you got the wrong guy,” Hinata muttered, furrowing his brows as he moved a chair over to his side of the counter and sat down. “I’m nothing special, Hope. I’m an average college student with an average job, trying to function on a regular basis.” he looked to Hope, who gazed intently at him, their head once again cocked to one side. Said look reminded him of Nanami. “I… uh… I’m not an extraordinary person. I’m not capable of whatever you think I am, er… whatever.”

“You just can’t see your potential, Hinata-kun!” They leaned over the counter, grabbing one of the brunettes hands, squeezing lightly. “I can see it! You can do more than you think! You’re very special, Hinata-kun!”

Hinata visibly froze, eyes glancing at the killers gloved hand over his own.

“Oh, I apologize,” Hope retracted their hand quickly. “I crossed your boundaries. I didn’t mean to be so rude.”

“Uh, it’s…”Hinata licked his lips and looked down at his bowl of now soggy cereal. “It’s fine.” The brunette cleared his throat and stood up, glancing at the time.

7:54 AM.

“I have to go, Hope,” Hinata started, standing up just to dump his cereal in the sink, washing it down the drain. He hated wasting food, but he had lost his appetite. He’d regret it later, but oh well. “I have class.”

“Ah! Yes!” Hope clapped their hands together, standing up straight once more. “I apologize for keeping you. From a former college student to another, I wish you good luck.” Hinata could hear the smile in the others voice.

“Where’d you go…?” The brunette asked, curious. This person went to college? He hadn’t exactly pictured a serial killer going to college.

“Oh, just an all boys school,” they laughed… or, Hinata guessed,  _ he _ laughed. The brunette was relieved to finally know Hope’s gender, it’d been bothering him for a bit now.

“So, you’re a guy?”

“I don’t see why that would matter, but yes, I am,” Hope answered, leaning against the counter before fidgeting with his fingers again. “I know this is a bother to ask, but would you mind if I remained here until dark…? Once again, I’ll do about anything to please you if you let me stay.”

Hinata paused, thinking things over. “I-I…” he swallowed and adjusted his collar self consciously. He hadn’t had anyone stay over in a long time, and had  _ never _ had a serial killer in his apartment. “Just— don’t mess with anything. Don’t answer the door or open it for that matter. I don’t need this shit on my hands…”

“I promise I’ll behave,” Hinata tried to picture some kind of boy smiling cheerfully under that mask. “I won’t do anything! I’ll stay hidden! I don’t want you in trouble anyway.”

“‘Kay, uh…” Hinata approached the door, grabbing his keys and backpack, then opening the door a crack. “See you later, I guess.”

“Bye!” Hope waved to Hinata as he closed and locked the door behind him.

The brunette sighed heavily, resting his hand on the wall and running his fingers through his hair with the other. God, this guy was exhausting. He really would’ve expected a serial killer to be more serious and intimidating: deep voice, tall and scary. But no,  _ this _ serial killer was lean, nimble, quiet, same height as Hinata, relaxed, and  _ very _ laid back and surprisingly  _ kind _ . How was that possible? Hinata didn’t know, but he was already overwhelmed as it was, so he just might as well continue on to class and get this shit over with. He really just wanted this guy out of his apartment and back on the streets to do whatever. Wait, no, that wouldn’t be good, he’d start to kill people again. What did he want then? Maybe for this guy to get locked up? Yeah… yeah, that sounds better. Out of his home  _ and _ not killing people. That’s a nice combination.

**——**

Yeah, Hinata’s pretty sure he got a not-so-hot grade on that physics shit.  _ Then _ you put an algebra exam on top of that and it’s basically asking for death. He was braindead, no doubt about it.

As he walked home, exhausted and  _ not _ paying attention to his surroundings, a finger gently tapped his shoulder. Hinata jumped a bit, having been lost in his thoughts, and turned around to meet soft, calm eyes.

“Hi,” Nanami smiled softly. “How’d your tests go…?”

“Hey, Nanami-san,” Hinata sighed, smiling back. “And yeah, about that… pretty sure I bombed them, but we’ll see later.”

“Ah, you probably did fine.”

Hinata shrugged. “Thanks, I guess,” he laughed breathly. “A lot of stuff has happened recently. I’ve just been overwhelmed.” He paused and sighed. “ _ And _ I haven’t been able to work in two days, which is both nice and stressful. Shifts fill up fast, especially on Fridays,”

“Mm,” Nanami hummed, reaching out and rubbing the brunettes arm softly. “I understand.” She stopped suddenly, her mouth closing and eyes narrowing. “...Is something wrong?”

Is Hinata really that easy to read?

“What?” He laughed lightly, putting his hands up and shaking them dismissively. “No, no! I’m just fine, Nanami! I’m fine! I’m just exhausted from class today, you know? I’m fine!”

“I don’t believe you,” Nanami tilted her head, as if the different angle could let her read the brunettes mind. “You always say ‘I’m fine’ too many times when you’re really not fine.”

“Huh? No I don’t,” his voice began shaking, the smile on his lips forced and nervous. He  _ knew _ if he didn’t somehow convince her he was fine that she would drag him back to his apartment and have him talk. “I’m… okay, Nanami-san! Really, there’s no reason to worry.”

“I don’t like it when you lie to me, Hinata-kun,” Nanami puffed her cheeks in annoyance, scolding him. “You’re bad at lying.”

“I-I’m not—!” Hinata stopped mid-sentence and sighed heavily, covering his face with his hands. “Okay, yeah, I’m not really fine…”

“Mm,” Nanami hummed before taking hold of the brunettes shoulders, spinning him around, and pushing him forward. “Let’s go and we can talk. I want you to feel better, Hinata-kun.”

“W-wait!” Hinata began panicking, flailing his arms and turning on his heels to stop Nanami from moving them both any further. “N-no! We can’t!”

Nanami held a blank expression. “Why not…?”

“Because… uh…” He desperately searched for an excuse, a  _ good _ reason why they couldn’t go back to his apartment. “U-um! I have a lot of work to do! Yeah, my professor assigned homework! I need to work on it. W-we can talk some other time?”

Nanami stared deep into his eyes. Hinata knew he couldn’t look away. He had to keep eye contact, otherwise the shorter girl would go to his apartment anyway. She was scanning him carefully, Hinata knew she was trying to break him.

But he couldn’t afford to break this time. Things weren’t exactly…  _ normal _ at his home.

“...Okay,” Nanami leaned back and patted his shoulder. “Please take care of yourself, Hinata-kun.”

“Don’t worry, Nanami-san,” the brunette smiled at her. “I will.”

The girl smiled back one last time before turning and walking away. Hinata sighed heavily, the weight of fear being lifted off of his shoulders. The last thing he needed was his best friend discovering a serial killer was in Hinata’s home and that he was  _ letting him stay there. _

The brunette rushed back home, paranoia wrapping around and squeezing his insides like a python with its prey. As he stood in the elevator quietly, fingers rapidly tapping against his backpack straps, he wondered how things were going to go from here. Call the police? Hope said he would never touch Hinata, so maybe he was safe from being killed before reporting all the information he knew— wait, no, he can’t do that. He’d have to tell them that the serial killer had been in his home— _ with Hinata’s consent _ —for 24 hours and that… that’s a crime. A seriously chargeable crime. He could go to prison for  _ years _ .

Damn it, Hope had probably thought of this ahead of time, and then just trusted Hinata to think rationally. That’s why he asked Hinata why he hadn’t called the police—he was testing the brunette. He didn’t get the response he wanted right away, but now he has.

And now Hinata is stuck with a serial killer in his home, and he can’t do shit about it. Great.

Finally, Hinata reached his apartment and unlocked the door. He opened it just enough for him to slip inside before slamming it closed and relocking it.

“Paranoid boy, aren’t you?”

Hinata’s stomach rolled with disappointment and anxiety. He’d been hoping the guy would’ve left by now.

“Why haven’t you left?” Hinata questioned as he turned around to see Hope sitting on the counter in the kitchen, swinging his legs back and forth, chin rested in his palm as usual.

“Aw, how hurtful,” There was an obvious pout in Hope’s voice. “I was hoping for at least a ‘hello.’”

“Well, sorry, you weren’t getting one,” For some reason, the brunette felt a lot more irritable, and then went on to repeat himself. “Why haven’t you left?”

“It’s still daylight, Hinata-kun,” Hope hopped off of the counter as he spoke smoothly. “I can’t go quite yet.”

“Fine,” Hinata sat down on the couch, setting his backpack down and opening it. He hadn’t been lying earlier; he did have work to do. “Just… please leave at some point.”

“Have you decided to not call authorities…?” Hope plopped down on the floor in front of Hinata, still giving the brunette enough space to feel somewhat at ease.

“I can’t, and you know that,” Hinata muttered, furrowing his eyebrows in frustration as he pulled out his textbook and the packet of algebra problems. “You basically planned out this entire thing, Hope. Don’t deny it. The only reason you stayed is because you knew this was a way to hide for a while and, if  _ I _ had thought it through, I wouldn’t call the police because then I’d be charged with harboring a wanted criminal.”

“Oh, Hinata-kun,” Hope sighed happily. “You’re so smart!”

“It’s common sense, you ass…” Hinata took out his pencil and calculator. “You took advantage of me.”

“It was for good reasons!” Hope exclaimed, waving his arms in the air. “Because you protected me and kept me safe, I can now continue my purpose of eliminating despair!”

“Whatever…” The brunette murmured, looking at Hope, staring right into those black voids for eyes on his nightmarish mask. “What you’re doing isn’t right.”

“Maybe,” Hope tapped the chin of his mask as if he were contemplating something. “Maybe you’re right, Hinata-kun. Maybe what I’m doing  _ is  _ wrong. But what if what I’m doing is also protecting and saving good, hopeful people?”

Hinata opened his mouth to retort the others argument, but just sighed and went back to his math work, leaving the question unanswered, rhetorical or not.

“It seems you’ve grown irritated with me,” the white haired boy sighed, scooting backward to lean up against the wall behind him. “I apologize. Trash like me shouldn’t have argued, haha…”

The brunette felt bad, but didn’t want to get distracted. So, he just crossed his legs in front of him, using his knees as a writing surface along with his folder, and began working.

Time passed. Who knows how much. All Hinata was aware of was that it was now dusk and the other across the room had stood up.

“I should get going,” Hope announced as he grabbed his hoodie and slipped it on, the fabric loosely hanging from his body. He swung his spear over his shoulder, then put his hood up over his head, pulling it down in front of his mask a bit more. “I don’t wish to bother you anymore.”

“Yeah, okay…” Hinata murmured, trying to keep his eyes fixed on his paper and  _ not _ on the other boys torso because my  _ God, _ how had he not noticed how nicely built he was? Lean and fit, on the skinny side, which was actually concerning for Hinata, but nonetheless he was kinda… attractive. But Hinata was  _ not _ interested in serial killers, thank you very much. Nope. Not how it is. He goes for normal,  _ not _ -murderous people.

“Hey.”

Hinata looked up to be met with Hope’s mask being lifted just enough to see his lips. A scab ran across his mouth, and the tissue stretched as Hope smirked.

“Have a  _ wonderful _ night,” The serial killer giggled. “I’ll keep an eye on you. We don’t need such an amazingly gifted person dying, now do we…?”

“What do you mea—“

Too late. Hope had already hopped to the window, ripped it open, and jumped out.

Hinata was left alone, pencil barely in his grip, breeze blowing in from the window. He sat, frozen, trying to make sure the past two days weren’t some vivid fever dream.

This is wild.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is hell


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hello mr hope i have not seen you in awhile UwU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UHHHHHHH SORRY I SPENT THE ENTIRE DAY YESTERDAY WITH MY FAMILY AND BF SO I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO PUBLISH THIS CHAPTER WOW LJFKSNGKFVKFNFK SORRY SORRY SORRY
> 
> ALSO HOMOPHOBIA, VIOLENCE, AND DEATH WARNING

Several months passed without any interaction between Hinata and The Ultimate Hope.

The killings didn’t stop or slow down for that matter. Hope still executed criminal after criminal, saving many people in the process. His following increased as witnesses of The Ultimate Hope spoke out on TV, speaking of his gentle kindness despite his violence. Many women began fawning over him because of his courage and ideals of protection. He’s saved many people from horrible situations, catching many criminals in the act of something bad, leaving proof of their acts through pictures or notes if it seems fit.

At one point the police collected DNA on one of the notes and believed they had caught their killer. Only to discover the DNA belonged to an old man in a nursing home who was paralyzed from the waist down. Obviously, Hope had only done such a thing to mess with authorities, and  _ God, _ he succeeded. Police were _ pissed. _

Hinata had moved on from those very interesting and eventful days, but Hope would move his way into his mind on a daily basis. The brunette couldn’t seem to  _ not _ think about him for 24 hours. The killer was always there at some point during the day. He even began to research the guy more, craving to know more about his ideals and viewpoints on the world around them. Souda had even began to tease the brunette with his new interest, poking at his pride constantly and going on about how Hope was his “celebrity crush”. Hinata would only stutter as he tried to defend himself, pushing Souda lightly or hitting his arm, only for the mechanic to laugh loudly.

But sometimes, every once in awhile, if he was out at night, he’d catch a glimpse of white and red in the corner of his eye, only for the blur to disappear when he looked over to it. Hope  _ did _ say he would keep an eye on him, and Hinata could only smile softly, as much as he didn’t want to.

He wasn’t the only one thinking about the other. The fleeting thoughts and memories were mutual. It was kind of… comforting, in a way. Like Hinata wasn’t being fucking creepy or something.

**——**

“Bye, Hinata-san!”

Hinata smiled, waving to Owari, who stood in the doorway, waving excitedly back at him. “Bye!” He chimed, a light feeling in his chest. “Tell Sonia thanks for inviting me!”

“Ah, c’mon!” Nidai showed up behind the tall woman, putting her in a headlock and messing up her hair. She laughed loudly, elbowing him in the ribs. “You’re apart of the group! You’ll always be involved, kid! Have a good night!”

“You too!” Hinata laughed, amused with the sight before him. He then began to walk away, hearing the door close behind him.

It was a Saturday, and a transfer student (who had  _ easily _ slipped her way into Hinata’s friend group, but hey, Hinata wasn’t protesting) named Sonia Nevermind had decided to hold a small party for everyone they knew to attend. Of course, everyone in the little group they had going on happily attended: Saionji, Koizumi, Nidai, Mioda, Owari, Kuzuryuu (somehow), Tsumiki, Tanaka, Togami, Nanami, Souda, Pekoyama, and Hanamura. It was actually really fun. The brunette enjoyed seeing  _ all _ of his friends in one place, it didn’t happen very often. He’d run into or meet up with them regularly, but not all of them had a nice and neat schedule. Thankfully though, this week, everyone was able to make it on Saturday, and it just felt really nice.

Hinata began walking home with a smile, replaying that nights events in his head, from Hanamara getting a little  _ too _ tipsy and ended up tripping on his own feet, smashing his face into a wall, to the obvious and shameless PDA between Koizumi and Saionji, to Nanami beating  _ everyone _ at each of the four games they played and Souda  _ crying about it  _ (he, too, had a bit of alcohol and, despite him denying it, it didn’t take much to get him drunk), all the way to the kind goodbyes he received at the door from Nidai and Owari. It was late at night, though, and he had classes in the morning, so he had to leave early so he wouldn’t pass out in class. Souda called him a pussy for it, but his words were so slurred and half-assed it was just plain hilarious and Hinata didn’t even defend himself. Then Sonia scolded Souda for making fun of being responsible and he seriously looked like a puppy being glared at after ripping up a pillow. She went on to perform a mini-lecture about how important education and self-care was.

Hinata hummed happily, bringing out his phone and checking the time. 10:29 PM. Yeah, he’ll be fine. He could get home before 11 and still be able to get a decent amount of rest. He slipped his phone back into his pocket.

Hinata thought about going through his normal route to his apartment, but decided to take the alleyway shortcut.

Yes, he has gone through there since the Hope incident and everything went fine, okay? He hasn’t been chased by police or attacked or anything, just the normal annoying-ass high schoolers every now and then. Of course, he was nervous for the first time after that  _ terrifying _ experience, scared he’d jinx it  _ again _ and get into some serious situation. But then he got through it no problem, so it’s no big deal.

Hinata entered the alley, tapping the beat of a popular song played  _ way _ too often on his jeans. He yawned, covering his mouth with his forearm before rubbing his eyes. Wow, he was a lot more tired than he thought he was. He chuckled a bit at the idea of just taking a nap in a filthy, dark and cold garbage bin.

He came to the large opening gap between two buildings, both backdoors across from each other and two huge garbage tubs next to them, pressed up against the wall. This was where he first heard Hope’s presence several months back, and Hinata slowed his walking a bit to observe his surroundings. It appeared almost exactly the same as that day.

And, as if on cue, he heard a shoe scuff the pavement nearby. Hinata snapped to attention, actual  _ excitement _ simmering in his stomach.

“Hope…?” He called out, hoping ( _ why? _ ) for that distantly familiar, smooth voice to answer him with a calm and collected ‘Hello, Hinata-kun’.

But instead he got a tall man with a ski mask and a gun run towards him and tackle him to the ground.

Hinata yelped on impact, hitting the ground  _ hard _ , head bouncing on the pavement and his scalp immediately erupted in pain. He scraped his palms and forearms, stinging waves beginning their course through his body. The brunette whimpered in pain, pretty sure his head was bleeding due to the warmth spreading slowly on his skin.

“Ah,  _ shit, _ ” a scratchy voice growled above him, the man standing up and stepping on Hinata’s shoulder with a heavy, combat boot, pushing down. The man seemingly smiled at the gasp of pain Hinata let out. “Was hopin’ ya’d be a chick.”

“Let me go, asshole!” Hinata barked, actual anger boiling in his veins, but it quickly faded back to fear when the barrel of the gun hit his jaw harshly. That’s gonna leave a bad bruise if it didn’t break the skin, too.

“Keep talkin’ ta’ me like that and ya ain’t gon’ make it outta here alive, hun,” The masked man hissed. He spit off to the side and then sneered down at Hinata. “Got any ideas of what I should do with ya…?”

“Let m-me go…” Hinata attempted to struggle out from under the man, but he was then greeted with a sharp kick into his ribs. The air was immediately knocked out of the brunette and he was left wheezing violently.

“ _ No, _ ” The stranger leaned down a bit, then pressing his foot on Hinata’s chest, making it even harder for him to breath. “I recognize ya. I go ta yer school, huh? Actually heard ya ain’t so fuckin’ straight.” Another kick to the side, then the cold barrel of the gun lifted the brunettes chin up. “How many guys have ya fucked, huh? Have fuckin’ orgies with yer friends? I bet ya do, you fuckin’ fa—“

“Don’t call me that,” Hinata interrupted, choking and gasping for air, but anger still simmered in his veins and darkened his eyes.

“Why not?” The man asked, almost  _ innocently _ . “It’s what ya are. A  _ faggot. _ Fuckin’ boy-fucker. Like it up the ass, don’t ya?” The guy laughed, and kicked Hinata in the stomach this time. “Might as well kill yer ass, not like anyone’ll miss ya or whatever.”

“Please,” Hinata’s eyes began to fill with tears, thoughts of his friends and family filling his head, adrenaline coursing through his body and his heart pounded and chest ached from the abuse. “Ple… ase let me go.  _ Please. _ I’ll do anything.”

“Really, huh?” The man leaned down some more, his dark eyes sharp as knives as they stared at Hinata. “Kill yerself then. We don't need no homos runnin’ ‘round. Ya just corrupt everythin’ and make things worse.”

“I-I—“

“Well then…” a smooth voice echoed through the alley opening, and Hinata watched his attackers eyes fill with confusion, anger, and then pure  _ fear _ .

“Show yaself, ya lil’ bitch!” The man yelled angrily, clicking his gun and raising it aimlessly, still standing over Hinata. “Ya ain’t as tough as everybody makes ya out ta be! Let me kick yer ass!”

“Oh?” A quiet sound of feet landing on the ground echoed, but the man above Hinata and he himself couldn’t tell where it came from. “I would indulge in your fantasy if it weren’t so very far from the truth, but alas, it is.” A saddened sigh could be heard. “I might have spared you from more suffering if you hadn’t attacked someone, but…” There was a long pause. “You seemed to have attacked the man who has helped me before, and I’m afraid to say I don’t tolerate such behavior.”

“What, are ya gay, too?!” The man hissed, but fear obviously laced his tone as he yelled. “Yer fuckin’ disgusting!”

“Hm… maybe you’re correct,” Footsteps rang out clearly from some direction. “Actually, yes, I  _ am _ disgusting, but no one is disgusting for liking those of the same gender. I apologize, but everything you’re saying sounds extremely stupid!” Then a loud, almost  _ crazed _ laugh exploded in the alleyway and sooner than Hinata could process it, there was a red blade poking out from his attackers chest.

Hinata scrambled out from under the man, eyes wide as he watched the bright blood blood soak his shirt and cover the blade. The brunette couldn’t rip his eyes away as he watched the blade violently  _ twist _ while still inside the man's chest. The masked attacker could only choke on the blood spilling from his mouth and whimper in pain. The blood trailed down the man's body, dripping off of the blade and staining the ground. The blade was then ripped from his chest and the attacker fell to the ground, blood already pooling as it rushed out of the stab wound. He twitched a few times, choking and gagging noises spilling from lips before going silent. Hinata noticed that his chest had completely stopped moving up and down.

He was dead.

Hinata didn’t even have the chance to look up before a hand gently took hold of his shoulder, soothingly gliding down and taking his scraped hand, doing the same with the other. Hinata was slowly guided to his feet, but his knees gave out from under him and he collapsed. Arms around him kept him from hitting the pavement once more, and Hinata finally processed that Hope was, once again, holding him  _ much  _ too close.

“Hinata-kun,” Hope’s voice was soft and gentle, concerned. “Are you okay…?”

“D-do I look… okay t-to you…?” Hinata murmured, eyes still fixed on the dead body on the ground.

“I am not speaking of your wounds,” Hope whispered. “Emotionally. Mentally. Are you okay?”

“N… no.”

“As I expected,” Hinata heard the serial killer sigh heavily. “I can help you home, if you wish.”

“I…” Hinata felt dizzy, and his vision started to darken around the edges. “I d-don’t feel good…”

The brunettes vision faded, as did Hope’s calm voice.

**——**

Hinata slowly came back to consciousness, eyelids heavy and chest tight. Only seconds later did the dull pain aching through his body come to him, and he tried to let out a pained groan, but his throat was too dry and too tight. He opened his eyes, met with a tiled ceiling with bright, white lights. The brunette took note of the soft and steady beeping to his left, along with the pillow and stiff bed he rested on. He moved his heavy arm, feeling the other and his fingers graced over a needle under his skin attached to a plastic piece stuck under a bandage.

Yep, he’s in the hospital, isn’t he?

“You’re awake!”

Hinata blinked and looked over at the door to his small room, spotting a nurse quickly walking over. She was smiling and looked quite calm. Short, black hair framed her soft face, brown eyes greeting green.

“Hinata Hajime, correct?” She questioned, standing at the side of his bed, pulling out a clipboard and pen.

“Uh…” Hinata winced as he tried to sit up a bit. “Yeah.”

“Oh no, lay back down!” The nurse gently pushed him back down onto the mattress. “You’re in bad condition, Hinata-san. You must rest.”

“How…” The brunette furrowed his eyebrows. The last thing he remembered was lying in that dark alleyway. “How did I… how did I get here…?”

The nurse visibly stiffened, gluing her eyes to the clipboard. She cleared her throat. “Well…” she sighed, looking back at Hinata. “The Ultimate Hope dropped you off. They had… entered the hospital carrying you. They claimed you fell victim to a hate crime assault.”

“Where’d he—“ Hinata stopped himself. “Where’d  _ they _ go…?”

“Th-they disappeared after we placed you on a cart to move you to this room,” The nurse fidgets with her pen.

Hinata felt a disappointed sadness rush into his stomach. “Oh,” he looked up at the ceiling. He was kinda hoping he’d still be here, but the brunette understood that Hope had to leave immediately to avoid being caught. “So, uh… how bad is everything?”

“Ah, yes, that’s what I was going to go over next,” She looked back down at her clipboard and tapped it as she read off everything. “You have minor scrapes on your forearms and palms, they were disinfected and bandaged. They should heal quite quickly. You have a mild bruise and open wound on your jaw, along with a mild bruise on your torso; However, your other wounds are more severe.” She sighed, an expression of sympathy slipping on her features. “You have several bruised ribs. You’re very lucky none of them broke. The back of your head had to be stitched as well.”

“Sh-shit…” Hinata felt dread fill his stomach and he ran his bandaged hand over his jaw, the taped gaze covering his wound, the skin around said wound and gaze very tender to the touch. “Have, uh… I have friends. Have you contacted them?”

“We have not,” the nurse replied. “If you want us to let them know about this situation, please give us their contact information.”

Hinata then went on to give the nurse Nanami’s, Souda’s, and Twogami’s phone numbers.

When the nurse left the room, Hinata stared blankly up at the ceiling. He really never thought he’d be attacked and then harassed for being bisexual. He was a normal guy. Normal, average guys don’t get a loaded gun pointed to the throat with bruised ribs and horrible words spat at them. He just… he was is shock.

He was hurt.

He heaved a shaky breath only for sharp pain to echo through his body. With a whimper, he turned onto his (not bruised) side and curled up, a lukewarm tear escaping his now closed eyes. How was he supposed to come to terms with this? How was he going to move on? He was hurt, physically and emotionally, and then… then he witnessed the murder of his attacker. Nonetheless, the  _ brutal _ murder of his attacker. He couldn’t bring himself to feel sorry, but the sight of a spear through the chest of a man, blood spilling, was stuck in his head. The picture of the mans disgusted eyes as he looked down at Hinata burned into his memory. He… he would never forget this. He could never forget this.

_ Tap tap. _

Hinata froze, rubbing his tears away in a panic of embarrassment and then looked to the door. No one was there. Even through the window he couldn't see anyone.

_ Tap tap tap. _

Hinata turned over, looking to the window nearest to him and gasped, then tensed at the pain in his chest.

A certain masked someone sat on the other side of the window, waving.

Hinata smiled softly despite the ache in his body. The window quietly slid open, and Hope leaned in slightly only to quickly throw a dagger into the corner of the room. There was the sound of glass shattering, and the brunette looked over to see the sharp weapon stabbed through the security camera.

“Nice aim,” the brunette wheezed, holding his side gently as he turned fully to Hope.

“Ah, thank you,” the serial killer stepped into the room, and bowed dramatically. “I’ve had a lot of practice.”

Hinata stifled a chuckle, scared of the pain he’d inevitably feel.

The killer then stood up straight and walked over quietly to Hinata, gently sitting down on the end of the bed. “I’m sorry you had to see such violence, Hinata-kun,” Hope sounded  _ ashamed _ . “I couldn’t let him escape, though; The last thing I need is another innocent being killed.” He paused, leaning forward a bit and hesitantly placing his gloved hand on Hinata’s. “Especially someone who so generously provided someone disgusting like me a place to stay until dark.”

“You kinda just forced yourself in,” Hinata raised an eyebrow, smiling a bit. “But okay.”

“Ha,” Hope breathed a laugh. “I’m surprised you’re okay with my touch. Are you okay…?”

“Hey, I didn’t hit my head  _ that _ hard,” The brunette gently swatted the others arm. “And I’m not really okay, but at least I’m alive.” Hinata swallowed, looking off to the side shyly. “Thanks to you, I mean…”

Hope went silent, retracting his hand and looking down at his lap, fidgeting with his thumbs. “I-it’s…” he tucked a strand of hair behind his ear under his red lined hood. “It’s not a big deal at all, Hinata-kun. I’m just doing what I’ve done for four years now.”

“Still,” Hinata sat up a bit more to look at Hope better. “I’m not thrilled you killed him, as I don’t agree with murder at all, but…” He bit his lip. “I’d be dead right now if you hadn’t stepped in, Hope.”

“Komaeda.”

Hinata froze, eyes wide. Did… did Hope just give the brunette his  _ real name? _ Why? How? Just…  _ huh? _

“Wha—“

“I trust you, Hinata-kun,” Hope— _ Komaeda— _ murmured, still looking down. “This is probably a huge mistake; However… I can’t help but trust you with my identity. You are truly alluring and hypnotizing. You give off the feeling of safety. I trust you. I just hope you won’t break that trust. But I do understand why you would break it. I am a monster, after all.”

Hinata was in shock. He had won over the trust of a serial killer who had evaded police for over  _ four years _ . He now has  _ vital information _ that authorities had craved for a long, long time. He could report this right now, give up  _ Komaeda’s _ name, send him to prison never to walk amongst society again.

But as much as Hinata hated it, he had no desire to say anything at all.

Before Hinata could respond, there was rushing footsteps coming towards his door, voices ringing out. Komaeda snapped to attention, jumping up and hopping onto the window sill. Just as he was about to jump out, Hinata shouted:

“Wait for me. Please.”

Komaeda turned, frozen for a moment, before nodding, and then he disappeared before the brunettes eyes.

Two nurses and a doctor rushed into the room.

“Are you okay, Hinata-san?!” The nurse he had met earlier rushed over to the brunette, checking over him, examining his arms, his neck, and the medical instruments next to his bed. “We found the camera in this room out of order after a glimpse of The Ultimate Hope!”

“I’m fine,” Hinata answered, watching the three people check over everything, the other nurse closing and locking the window.

“Look!” The doctor pointed to the camera above them. “They  _ were _ here!”

“Oh my God…” The nurse next to Hinata muttered, hand covering her mouth. She turned back to the brunette. “Why did they not hurt you?!”

“They said they don’t kill innocent people,” he whispered. “I guess I’m innocent.”

The nurse opened her mouth to answer, but closed it with a sigh. She then went back to checking the instruments with the other nurse and doctor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heheheheheheheh o~o’ sorry again lajfkskfjdiffkbk


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ko has a sleepover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have to wake up at 5 am tomorrow rip m e

“Are you sure you’ll be okay to walk up there? We can walk up with you, it’s really no problem!”

“Don’t worry, Sonia,” Hinata smiled at her as he carefully got out of the car. “I’ll be fine. Nothing’s broken or anything.”

Sonia sighed, eyebrows furrowed in worry. “Alright,” she replied, smiling at him. “Be safe.”

“Please,” Nanami added, arms rested on the car doors open window.

“You guys really don’t have to worry, I’m okay,” Hinata rubbed the back of his neck, a bit embarrassed as people passed by.

“No, you’re not,” Souda shouted from the other side of Nanami in the backseat. He leaned over towards the window, crowding Nanami, but she didn’t seem to mind. “You got your ass beat by some random guy and could’ve  _ died. _ ”

“But I  _ didn’t, _ ” Hinata crossed his arms.

“Uh, yeah, thanks to a serial killer you’ve been obsessin’ over for the past few months,” That shark-toothed grin painted the pink haired boys face then, and the brunette prepared himself because who fucking knows what’s going to come out of his mouth. “Oh, what if it’s  _ destiny~? _ ”

“Yeah, okay, I’m leaving,” Hinata rolled his eyes and turned his back to the car. “Bye!”

“Hey!” Souda barked. “I’m not done givin’ ya shit!”

“But  _ I _ am done,” Hinata briefly turned to give a kind (read: sarcastic) smile to the other. “Have a  _ fantastic  _ day!”

The two girls in the car bid him goodbye as Souda grumbled to himself about how he wasn’t finished with the brunette. Hinata just smiled to himself as he entered his apartment building.

It was  _ so _ nice to be out of that cold, white hospital after those tortuous three days. All he wanted to do was sleep in his bed for five years straight. One of the only positives to nearly dying was that his college was giving him two weeks to heal before he was expected to be in class again. He’d be getting all of his homework and projects through his laptop, so he really didn’t have to wake up early for awhile. He had painkillers he had to take, though, which taste like utter  _ shit _ , but he’d rather shove a huge pill down his throat then feel all the pain he would be feeling right now. He  _ really _ didn’t need to know how bad it actually hurt.

The brunette rode the elevator up to his floor, giddy to be in his own home again, his own bed, his own kitchen, his own living room. He needed some peace, just a warm place to curl up and pass out in five minutes. Maybe he’d put on a random movie to lull him to sleep. Yeah, it was, like, 4 PM right now, but he couldn’t really care less. He would have a quick, simple meal, and then sleep for 12 hours.  _ God, _ that sounded amazing, he’s totally doing that.

Hinata pulled out his keys from his pocket and opened the door to his apartment. He stepped inside, breathing a sigh of relief as he closed and locked the door behind him. He immediately went for the couch, lying down, face buried in the cushions. He would’ve dropped himself on the furniture if his ribs weren’t as fragile as they were right now, and the brunette cringed lightly at the thought of the pain he’d feel. There was still a very dull ache instead of pure agony at every movement and breath, thanks to the painkillers. Hinata just couldn’t wait for things to go back to normal. He didn’t want to think about the attack and blood anymore, he just wanted to cuddle up close to his blankets and pillows and fucking  _ hibernate  _ or something.

With a sigh, Hinata sat up, rubbing his face. His eyes shot open when he suddenly remembered the first day in the hospital when…  _ Komaeda _ (illegally) visited him.

_ Just as he was about to jump out, Hinata shouted: _

_ “Wait for me. Please.” _

_ Komaeda turned, frozen for a moment, before nodding, and then he disappeared before the brunettes eyes. _

Was he still waiting?

Hinata rushed over to the window as fast as his ribs would let him and opened it. He quickly leaned out and looked to the left at the fire escape and…

No one was there.

Hinata would hate to admit how disappointed he was, but tried to convince himself it was fine. He closed the window, rubbing the bandage on his jaw absentmindedly. He actually felt  _ embarrassed. _ Jesus.

He wandered into the kitchen just to take out a pack of instant ramen. Once he had filled the cup and placed it in the microwave to heat up, he filled a glass of wine  _ way _ too much and chugged half of it. He really needed to relax some more, and if that meant a bit of alcohol in the mix? So be it. Whatever. Not like he’s going out or driving or anything.

After a few minutes, Hinata removed the ramen from the microwave and plopped down on the couch. He switched the TV to a random movie and pulled his hood up over his head, burying himself deeper into the soft fabric.

Barely ten minutes later after finishing his drink and “meal”, he got up, placing the glass and empty container on the kitchen counter before entering his bedroom. The brunette dragged the blanket off of his bed along with a pillow and moved both items back to the couch. He threw the pillow down on the armrest and lied down, pulling the heavy blanket over himself, basically burying himself in the fabric around his body.

He soon fell into a half-awake, half-asleep state, drifting closer to falling into a full slumber. But a familiar sound made him wake up slowly, confused.

_ Tap tap. _

He remained in a dazed confusion before he finally realized what that sound was. He shot up from the couch, his ribs punishing him immediately for the far too sudden movement. He winced, cradling his side for a moment before actually looking to the window.

There, standing on the edge, peeking out from the side of the window, was that all too familiar mask. A gloved hand was raised and the boy waved to Hinata.

Hinata rolled his eyes, still cradling his side as he stood up and walked slowly over to the window. He opened it, narrowed eyes and a sly smile on his lips.

“Why are  _ you _ here…?” Hinata teased, still smiling as Komaeda climbed through the window.

“I don’t break my promises,” Komaeda stood up straight, tilting his head. “You told me to wait. I did. I came here and waited.”

“Aw, how sweet of you,” Hinata sarcastically commented, closing the window and then nudging Komaeda’s shoulder gently. “You doing okay?”

“I should be asking you that question,” The killer murmured, fidgeting with his thumbs. “You are the injured one, after all. How are  _ you _ doing, Hinata-kun?”

“Pain in the ass, but fine,” He muttered, sitting back down on the couch.

“Lying, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda replied, sitting down on the couch as well, but keeping his distance.

Hinata went silent, biting his lip as he looked down at the floor.

“You should not feel obligated to talk to me,” Komaeda continued, looking away from the other boy. “I am a disgrace, afterall. I know that. But… do understand that, despite not seeing you often… I care for your well being.” He paused, voice lowering in volume to a mere whisper and looked back at Hinata. “Seeing you in that alleyway… under that horribly despaired man… I couldn’t—”

“It’s fine,” Hinata waved his hand, as if the movement could dismiss the subject completely. “I’m alive, so… I’m fine.”

Komaeda went silent, visibly hesitating. His hand twitched, but he clenched it tightly and remained still, looking away once more.

“Alright then,” Komaeda murmured, his voice barely audible from behind his mask. “Just…” He stopped himself again and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. “Do you wish for me to go? I understand if you want trash like me to leave. I couldn’t bare bothering someone like you, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata didn’t answer immediately, thinking over his words. “You don’t have to leave if you don’t want to,” Hinata slowly lowered himself to lie back down on the couch. “I don’t…” he let out a breathy laugh. “For some reason I don’t mind a serial killers company.”

Komaeda stiffened, hands fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie. “A-ah, you truly don’t mind? Please don’t feel like you have to keep me here, you can tell me to—“

“Komaeda, I swear to God,” The brunette groaned, rubbing one eye with the back of his hand. “You’re fine. Stay if you want. I don’t care.”

“Are you—“

“ _ Yes,  _ I’m sure.”

Komaeda hummed before hesitantly taking off his combat boots, then bringing his feet up on the couch and leaning against the opposite armrest to Hinata. The brunette felt kind of bad. The guy was always keeping his distant, and since Hinata couldn’t see his face, he couldn’t tell if it was because he was uncomfortable around Hinata, or if he was just nervous that the brunette would be uncomfortable with him being closer. More like less than a foot away.

He also struggled to understand Komaeda’s self-deprecating comments. He was always putting himself done only to praise others, putting them on a pedestal and basically bowing before them. That, of course, included Hinata, and if anything made Hinata uncomfortable with Komaeda, it was the fact that he just seemed so unfazed by insulting himself. Not only that, but he seemed to  _ encourage _ others to put him down, to abuse him.

Hinata felt a flood of sympathy and sadness rush over him as he gazed at the serial killer across from him, whose head was turned to the TV, watching the battle scene on screen. The brunette yearned to know just what had brought the other boy to this point. He wouldn’t admit it… probably. And he didn’t really want to either, for that matter. But he wished to reach out and ask,  _ “Why do you seem to hate yourself so much? Why do you put yourself down so much? Why do you encourage abuse towards yourself? Why do you act as if everyone is so much better than you? Why? Why? Why?” _ .

But Hinata knew that was rude, especially since they still barely knew each other,  _ and _ lived on opposite sides of the law; However, the brunette just couldn’t help himself but lowkey  _ admire _ the other. He didn’t fully understand why, and the few reasons he  _ did _ understand? He would never say those out loud. Never.

Hinata turned back to the TV, pulling the blanket over himself a bit, leaving enough for Komaeda (even though he would never take it, and the brunette knew that). He nestled into the pillow and couch cushions, trying to find a comfortable position that  _ didn’t _ make him want to puke with pain.

Soon, Hinata fell into a peaceful sleep, never feeling as safe as he did right there in that living room, a murderer sitting quietly only a foot away. How ironic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dw guys its gon get a lot gayer just give it a sec lsdjdlgjdkfkdkv


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have to go to this stupid class monday through thursday fro this week and next week with no air conditioning and its fuckin 82 degrees outside s h o o t m e

“Hin...ta.”

“Hi...ata.”

“Hinata-kun.”

Hinata slowly opened his eyes to be met with the white and red mask he’s began to see all too often now. It startled him at first, jumping a bit. Within seconds though, his tired mind then processed the fact that it was only Komaeda, and sighed quietly, holding himself up by his forearm and rubbing his eyes with the other hand.

“What’s up, Ko…?” The brunette lazily questioned, his voice still low and scratchy from sleep. He then noticed it was still quite dark. The sky with only a lilac color in the distance.

The other boy froze at the shortened version of his name, before shaking his head a bit and looking away, once again, fidgeting. Komaeda seems to fidget a lot, huh? “I-I have to leave, Hinata-kun,” he messed with a strand of his dove-white hair. “The sun will be rising soon.”

Hinata sat up fully, frowning a bit. “O-okay, uh…” The brunette carefully watched Komaeda stand up, his boots already on, picking up that beautifully deadly spear from leaning up against the wall. “Be safe…” he murmured quietly, bringing the blanket up to his chest to huddle into its warmth.

Komaeda paused in his movement to open the window, and he looked down, and then up to Hinata. “...There’s no need to wish safety upon me.”

“Yeah, uh, there kinda is,” Hinata raised an eyebrow. “You’re constantly chasing after criminals, not to mention many of them being  _ violent, _ so yeah, I think there is a need to want you to be safe.”

Komaeda went silent again and  _ Jesus, _ the brunette just wanted to rip that mask off so he could just  _ try _ and figure out what he was actually feeling. Body language can only be read up to a certain point, after that, you need facial expressions. Unfortunately, Hinata lacked that entirely with Komaeda, which left him in the dark 90% of the time.

“Well, then…” Komaeda looked back to the window and opened it. “Thank you… Hinata-kun. I appreciate your consideration of a person as horrid as me.”

With that, he was out the window and gone, basically leaving no room for argument with the last self-deprecating comment.

Hinata adjusted the blanket over his shoulders and stood up, walking to the open window and looking out. He got a two second glimpse of the other boy before he had disappeared into the early morning.

This was getting difficult and frustrating for Hinata. He had grown to like this  _ serial killer, _ of all people. As much as the voice in the back of his mind screamed for him to  _ stay away he’s a fucking murderer, _ the brunette couldn’t help but be drawn to his presence. Komaeda tended to be quite strange. He was closed-off and obviously insecure, and he used his status as The Ultimate Hope as the only way to keep him up and functioning. But… he was considerate, kind, in an odd way, and he seemed to care a bit about Hinata. But he shouldn’t flatter himself. Hinata wasn’t  _ special _ at all: Komaeda had saved other people countless times and brought them to the hospital if they were hurt, as he was. Hinata wasn’t a special acception or some bullshit. He was another “hope-filled citizen” that Komaeda idolized. Well, there was the  _ one _ time Komaeda said he hadn’t met someone like him in a long time. But that still wasn’t special. Hinata was just a normal, average guy, he wasn't anything extraordinary or something. But with this is mind, Komaeda’s belief system could be understood a bit more. And even though Hinata still wasn’t a fan of the whole  _ murdering _ thing, it was apart of the other boys…  _ thing, _ or whatever, so it’s not like he can do much about it.

At least, this is what Hinata  _ guesses. _ He still hasn’t seen the others face, and had only gotten a glimpse of his smile the first time he left the brunettes apartment. Hinata hasn’t interrogated him or something either, so he really shouldn’t be making assumptions in the first place.

The brunette sighed and closed the window, wandering back over to the couch and lying back down, wrapping the thick blanket around him like a cacoon. He groaned in frustration before burying his face into his pillow, ready to fall back asleep.

**——**

When Hinata awoke, it was  _ much _ too late in the day for his kind of schedule.

Especially when you just woke up and have 20 minutes to get to work.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” Hinata breathed, throwing an apple in a plastic bag into his schoolbag, which he brought with him to work for homework and such.

He grabbed his keys and rushed out of his apartment, running to the elevator and pressing the button. As he anxiously awaited for the elevator to rise to his floor, he began working on his tie, trying to also keep his bag balanced on one shoulder as he messed with the fabric. The elevator doors opened and he rushed inside, slamming the first floor button as he finally finished his tie and was able to put his backpack over his other shoulder to stay more comfortable.

The brunette rushed out of the complex and began jogging down the street. He can't go too fast, his ribs would probably kill him. But he had five minutes. The walk was usually ten, but if he hurried he could get there quicker. Hinata had to constantly dodge and avoid other people on his way towards his place of work, ready to just sprint across the busy road at crosswalks.

He was finally able to make it to that Godforsaken book store, several minutes late.  _ Fuck, _ he hoped his manager wouldn’t notice.

He slipped his name tag out of his bag and clipped it over his shirt pocket, trying to catch his breath. He held back on letting the dull pain show on his face, and then hoped that nobody would point out the now yellowing bruise with a small bandage over it on his jaw. The last thing he wanted to do today was explain to other employees and nosy-ass customers why he had bandages in several places on his arms and why he looks so fucking exhausted. What’s he supposed to say?  _ “Haha, yeah, I was randomly attacked in an alleyway, but it’s fine ‘cause The Ultimate Hope killed the attacker and brought me to the hospital. Funny, right? While we’re at it, want me to tell you my entire life story?” _ . He really just needed to lay back and relax for awhile, but money existed and so do bills.

A few hours passed as Hinata tended around the store, greeting a few customers and having small conversations with other employees. Of course, some employees asked about the bandages, and Hinata just blew it off with a  _ “Some stuff happened. It’s fine, nothing serious.” _ . Even though every word in that sentence was a lie. To top it off, he got a few concerned or weird looks from a few customers, whom he then decided to remember their faces and hold a pointless grudge against.

One customer stood out, though.

Hinata was just quietly putting books away, happy to finally be in a more secluded space to take a breather. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted someone come into the same isle. He looked over, just to satisfy his curiosity, and his green eyes widened.

Grey, striking eyes stared back, a look of utter shock within them. The boys jaw was obviously clenched shut in what Hinata assumed was nervousness or panic. Several months ago… those unforgettable eyes and pale, lean body, hidden in a hoodie. The boy looked almost exactly the same as the first time the brunette saw him at that store in what felt like forever ago. Save for a few scars on his face, one running across his lips and another on his left cheek, running down to his jawline and up to his temple. Black jeans, a red and grey hoodie, hood still pulled up over his head just like last time. But that wasn’t what Hinata was so distracted by.

The white, messy hair peeking out from under the hood, a strand hanging in his face and a few framing it nicely. The only person he has ever knew with such a signature look was Komaeda himself.

Was this the man behind the mask?

“K…” Hinata stuttered, voice barely audible. “Komaeda—“

The boy turned suddenly, pulling the strings on his hoodie as if that could hide everything, and sped out of the store. In shock and desperation, the brunette dropped all the books in his arms and rushed after him, grabbing his backpack on the way towards the door.

“Hey, I have to leave, doctors appointment, bye!” Hinata spat out as fast as possible to an employee at the desk before disappearing out the door.

Hinata frantically looked around, searching for that hoodie, that white hair,  _ anything. _ Finally, he spotted the boy ducking into an alley between two buildings (why is it always a fucking  _ alley? _ ) and the brunette rushed after him, bumping into people, only apologizing half-heartedly.

He rushed into the shaded, narrow opening, looking around in all directions. He felt panic boil in his chest, worry bubbling in his stomach.

“Komaeda!” He shouted. “Pl-please, I… I’m not going to do anything! You can trust me! I…” Hinata cringed, knowing he’s probably talking to no one now, and that he was going to regret his words later. “ _...I _ trust you.”

No answer.

“Please,” Hinata pleaded, eyebrows furrowing even more, voice cracking, spinning around and searching, searching,  _ searching _ . “C’mon, Komaeda, I’m not… I’m not gonna…”

Still no answer, much less any movement or noise.

Hinata slumped down against the brick wall nearby, shocked. Believe it or not, Hinata had begun to see Komaeda as a  _ friend, _ so the sinking, guilty feeling in his stomach was probably because of that. The brunette let himself take in the fact that he  _ really fucked up, _ sitting there for quite some time.

Eventually, Hinata slowly stood back up, adjusting his backpack into a more comfortable position. He swallowed dry air, an emotion he couldn’t quite name (and didn’t want to) washing over his body. He wandered out of the alley, his motivation and mood plunging to zero. He felt eyes on the back of his neck, and quickly looked back,  _ hoping… _

Nothing.

Yeah, he was definitely imagining things, and he definitely needed to stop being so upset about this. It’s just one person, much less someone he didn’t even know all that well. It shouldn’t matter this much. It shouldn’t hurt this much.

He was probably only attached to Komaeda because he saved Hinata’s life. Yeah, that’s it. He wasn’t a friend. Just a murderer who does nice things sometimes.

It’s not a big deal. Not a big deal at all.

**——**

Days pass.

Weeks pass.

Months pass.

Hinata’s life had gone completely back to normal: how it had been before Komaeda, before The Ultimate Hope. Before the run from the police with a gloved hand tight in his grip. Before the whole 24 hours spent with a masked killer in his home. Before his curiosity about The Ultimate Hope. Before the fleeting sights of white and red. Before he was nearly killed. Before this killer snuck into his hospital room and revealed his name. Before the fluttering feeling in Hinata’s stomach. Before the relaxed night the brunette spent with the other. Before he saw the killer’s true identity. Before he got a little too attached to someone that could leave at any moment, and  _ did. _

That’s what he gets for wanting to impulsively befriend a serial killer.

Hinata spent his days at college, at the bookstore, with his friends, at his apartment to keep to himself. Nothing interesting. Just average shit. Everyday shit.

_Boring_ _shit._

Hinata found himself mindlessly messing with the food on his plate as he sat in his kitchen, gazing out the window. Today had been a day off of work and school, so he’s just been lying back and talking with Nanami and Souda over text, sometimes popping into the group chat, only to duck out once again after a bit.

When he was alone, with nothing to do, nothing to distract him, his thoughts would slowly wander to that red and white mask and the face under it. The brunette  _ hated _ thinking about it. It was pointless, in the past, nothing can be done now. Komaeda isn’t just gonna pop back into his daily life like nothing happened. The killer obviously hadn’t been watching over him anymore, either. No red and white blurs in the corner of his eyes and a shoe scuffing on the ground a ways off. Nobody sitting quietly on the fire escape, waiting patiently. Hinata wanted to just forget about it, wait for the memories to fade into something of the distant past. Memories with no point except to think back on them and think,  _ “Oh yeah, that happened one time.” _ , and then move on.

He needed to stop thinking about that serial killer and his pretty face and kind smile and gentle touch and considerate words and—

_ Stop. _ This is exactly what Hinata is talking about! He needs to stop thinking like this! It’s embarrassing and stupid.

He growls in frustration under his breath and stands up, walking over to the sink and rising his plate. He placed the plate in the dishwasher, closing it and wandering into his bedroom. It was only 9 PM, but he really had nothing else to do, so he might as well get some rest.

Just as Hinata started to crawl into bed and under the covers, there was a loud slam. His heart started to pound, adrenaline rushing, and he just sat there, halfway into his bed, frozen. It felt like an eternity had passed before the brunette actually started to move again.

He slowly moved out of his bed and to the door, turning the knob and opening the door a crack, just enough to look out. He couldn’t see everything, but he could see the entire kitchen and part of his living room. From what he could see, nobody was in his house or anything. But the slam was  _ real. _ What was it, and  _ why? _ Hinata observed the kitchen and living room some more, and finally spotted the possible source. There, in front of the window, a piece of paper lied on the carpet. With that, Hinata could assume the source of the slam was the window being shoved down after someone slipped the paper inside his apartment. But  _ what the fuck was the point? _

Hinata slowly crept out of his room, still pretty shaken up. He quietly made his way across the two rooms and over to the window, picking it up and then backing up, sitting down on the couch. The paper was fresh, and folded neatly into fours, a string gently tied around it to keep it closed. The brunette slowly pulled the string away and unfolded the paper, flattening it a bit with his fingers.

_ “I’m sorry, Hinata-kun. I truly am. I shouldn’t have run away. I should’ve listened to you. I’m sorry. _

_ I did hear what you said on that afternoon. That you trusted me. That’s a significant mistake on your part, but your words did touch me deeply. I wished to reach out to you once again, but I couldn’t bring myself to do so. I was terrified. I still am. I have never felt so scared, Hinata-kun. _

_ I know you won’t forgive me for what I have done to you, and I understand that. I just needed to get these strange and unfamiliar emotions of mine off of my chest. I still don’t feel any burdens being lifted, and I don’t know what I must do next to ease such feelings. But I will try to erase them. I’m sure you are disgusted by me and hatred has grown over time towards me. I understand. _

_ Thank you, Hinata-kun. For everything. I don’t know what I mean by this, but thank you. Truly. _

_ — Komaeda Nagito, “The Ultimate Hope” _

The handwriting was remarkably neat, each letter written is an almost cursive form. But this wasn’t what Hinata was focused on. That wasn’t what had made his heart stutter and stomach flip.

_ Nagito. _

_ Komaeda Nagito. _

Komaeda was placing more and more trust into Hinata’s hands. Not only had he slipped emotions onto paper and quickly drop the note off, he… he gave Hinata his full name. Hinata now had all the information he needed to report Komaeda to the police and have him arrested.

But he didn’t want to. He  _ wouldn’t. _

He wanted to keep all of this to himself. Every word, every look, every touch. Hinata felt the feelings of attachment and fascination rush all too quickly into his chest, and the brunette gasped slightly for air, feeling like the oxygen around him had retreated. He clutched the note to his chest, staring absentmindedly at the floor. He held onto that  _ fucking note _ like it was his lifeline, like, if he let go, he would disappear from existence.

Hinata felt selfish, but he couldn’t help but want to keep everything about Komaeda to himself. In that moment, the last thing he wanted was for Komaeda to get caught and dragged to prison, never to breathe fresh air again. He didn’t want him to be trapped in a small cell, treated like shit, like he was crazy, spat on by every officer passing by. He didn’t want that. No. No, he  _ really _ didn’t want that. He’d rather get another kick to the ribs, another gun pointed at his head in a dark alleyway.

Why was he crying?

Hinata set the piece of paper down next to him and aggressively rubbed his eyes, wiping the few escaped tears from his cheeks. There’s no need to cry. Everything’s fine. It’s fine. Hinata sniffed, lowering his hands and placing one hand on top of the note. He looked to the window, staring at the few lights on in other buildings, the pitch darkness enveloping everything else.

He really wanted to see Komaeda right now. But how the  _ hell _ is he supposed to find him? Komaeda thought Hinata hated him, according to his letter. He’s not going to just show up at Hinata’s door like “hey, I’m back”. He’s not going to stop by the bookstore again. The snow-white haired boy was probably avoiding it like the plague.

Sure, Hinata was kind of pissed that Komaeda left so abruptly: no warnings, no reasons, nothing. But… the brunette understood  _ why _ the other boy ran away so quickly. As a wanted criminal by the entire country, revealing your identity to someone is terrifying. Giving Hinata his last name was one thing. Exposing his face on accident was  _ completely  _ different.

So, yes. Komaeda  _ was _ right about the brunette being mad. But he was wrong and far from the truth with everything else.

Hinata didn’t hate him. He  _ couldn’t _ hate him. He didn’t think Komaeda was disgusting. He wanted to forgive the boy. He won't forget, but he will forgive.

Hinata  _ needed _ to figure out a way to find Komaeda Nagito.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh oh boys you just got nae naed hahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahaahahahaha


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> omg komaeda :0c

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are gettin gayer guys dont worry i got it handled

The whole “find the murderer Hinata’s grown a soft spot for” thing wasn’t going so great.

The brunette thought deeply as he swirled his drink with the straw, trying to figure  _ something _ out. Komaeda wasn’t a simple person; he wasn’t going to come back on his own. The boy was convinced that Hinata hated him and didn’t want him around, as far from the truth as that was.

But that’s the problem: because of that  _ stupid and delusional  _ assumption, Hinata couldn’t find him. He  _ could _ throw himself into a dangerous situation, but it wasn’t guaranteed that Komaeda would even show up, much less Hinata  _ not _ dying. Sorry, but the brunette wasn’t suicidal, and he wasn’t looking for another case of bruised ribs… or worse.

He needed to figure something out, but with each passing day of no ideas or solutions, Hinata was losing more and more hope. He felt powerless. The friend he’d made over time slipped from his fingertips, and the chance of grabbing that leather clade hand once more was growing smaller and smaller.

“Hinata!”

The brunette snapped to attention, looking up to meet annoyed, golden eyes.

“I asked you a question,” Fuyuhiko leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “The fuck’s up with you lately?”

“A-ah, uh…” Hinata hesitated, glancing at his friends around him. He and Nanami, Pekoyama, Kuzuryuu, Saionji, Mahiru, and Sonia had met up for a few hours at the local café. “Just haven’t been feeling well lately. Sorry, guys.”

“It’s fine,” Nanami spoke up from next to the brunette, looking over and patting his arm. “If you want to talk to us, we can listen.”

“H~ey, I didn’t—!”

A hush from Mahiru shut Saionji up, and the blonde only pouted a bit.

“I agree with Nanami,” Sonia smiled kindly, furrowing her eyebrows in worry. “If you need anything at all, Hinata-san, many of us would happily help you!”

“Th-thanks, but really,” Hinata put his hands up in defense, smiling nervously. “I’m fine right now. I’ll let you know if I do need anything, though.”

Nanami opened her mouth to say something, but an 8-bit ringing stopped her. She adjusted and slipped her phone out of her small backpack hanging on her chair and pressed the answer button.

“...Ah, we haven’t talked in awhile, Komaeda-kun,” Nanami calmly replied after a muffled voice spoke.

Hinata stopped breathing.

“I don’t mind at all, it’s alright,” she paused again as she listened. Hinata seemed to be the only one paying attention, as the others had went about talking amongst themselves. “Yes…” A pause. “Ah, I’m sorry to hear that. Would you like to meet somewhere?”

Jesus Christ. All this time, for who  _ knows _ how long, Nanami has known the one and only Ultimate Hope. And obviously not in just passing. They have each other's phone numbers. How the hell has this never come up? How the hell did Hinata not know about this? What the fuck?

“Ah, I understand,” Nanami murmured quietly. She began to look worried. There was a long pause before she spoke again. “Do you need anything, Komaeda-kun? … Don’t say that.” Pause. “Okay… yes. I’m coming over, okay?” Pause. “No, I’m going anyway. I’ll see you in a bit. Bye.”

She hung up the phone and shoved it back in her backpack, hopping out of her seat and slinging the bag over her shoulders. “I have to go,” She announced, catching everyone’s attention. “A friend of mine needs something.”

“U-um!” Hinata stumbled out of his seat as she began walking away. “I need to talk to you, Nanami!”

She stopped and turned to face the brunette, looking a bit surprised. “What is it, Hinata-kun?” She questioned calmly.

“Uh…” he looked back to his other friends who watched them. “I have to go as well! Bye.” He gently took hold of the pastel pink haired girl next to him and lead her out of the café.

“Hinata-kun, are you okay?” Nanami began sounding concerned. “Is something wrong?”

“No! I’m fine!” Hinata replied, nervous, hands shaking a bit as the doors closed behind them. “I just, uh… I know… who—“

“You know Komaeda-kun?”

“Yeah,” Hinata looked down at his feet, scuffing one on the ground. “Yeah, I do. I know him. I just… haven’t talked to him in awhile.”

“Ah,” Nanami hummed. “He shut you out, didn’t he? He has a bad habit of doing so.”

“I’ve noticed,” The brunette muttered, letting out a breathy laugh. “I’ve wanted to talk to him again for awhile, but he’s just… been avoiding me.”

“What happened?”

“Uh…” Hinata hurriedly tried to think of a realistic scenario. “He, er… I found something out about him he didn’t want me to know and I guess he got scared and ran off.” Hinata looked back up to Nanami, whose head was tilted as she listened carefully. “He thinks I hate him, but I don’t. Really. He contacted me one time saying so and apologizing for some reason and then just…” He sighed, running both hands through his hair. “Disappeared.”

“I think you should go to him.”

“Huh?” Hinata didn’t process that.

“I think you should go to him,” Nanami repeated, a soft smile on her face. “It’s obvious you care about him. He shuts out the people that care for him, and he cares for in return. He has good intentions, but thinks that it’s best for him to be alone. Which is completely wrong.” She sighed heavily. “He may be well-off financially, but he can’t take care of himself properly.”

“Wh-what do you mean…?” Hinata felt a pit of worry beginning to hollow out his stomach, furrowing his eyebrows in concern.

“Well…” Nanami hesitated, pausing for several seconds. “Komaeda-kun frequently forgets to eat, which is the biggest problem. He often just sleeps all day. I worry about him.”

“Yeah…” Hinata murmured. “Yeah, I do too.”

“Then you should go see him,” Nanami smiled, grabbing onto her backpack straps and pulling them repeatedly. She did that when she was happy. Hinata had always found it endearing. “He’ll try to get you to leave, but don’t. You have to be stubborn with him.”

“I-I don’t know where he lives—“

She reached out and made a grabbing motion with her hands. Of course she wanted Hinata’s phone. The brunette sighed and took out his phone, giving it to the girl in front of him. Nanami took it and unlocked it herself (yes, she knows Hinata’s password). Hinata waited for a minute as she did whatever the fuck she was doing, and then she suddenly gave it back.

“I put his address right there,” she pointed at the screen where an address was typed out. The building address on screen was just around the corner from his own. “Good luck. You’ll need it.”

“Hey,” he bumped her with his arm. “Now you’re making me nervous.”

“You already were, Hinata-kun.”

“I hate that you can read me so well,” The brunette smiled back at her.

“It was inevitable,” She replied, a slight happiness in her tone. Nanami struggled with showing emotions openly all the time, so when she does, that emotion is very true. “You’re my closest friend, Hinata-kun.”

“Yeah, yeah,” the brunette blushed a bit, embarrassed by her open appreciation. “You’re my closest friend, too.”

She smiled before puffing her chest. “Now, off you go,” She gestured for him to start walking. “Catch him before he falls asleep again.”

Hinata chuckled lightly, looking down at the address and started walking down the street. “Got it, Nanami. Thanks.”

She returned his thank you with a thumbs up before she headed back into the café.

**——**

Well, here he was.

Hinata idled and hesitated at the door, trying to think of what to say. He’d gotten to the “find Komaeda” part, but he’d never thought about the “talk to him” part. Great, now he’s stuck standing at the guy’s door like an idiot.

You know what? Fuck it. He’ll just wing it. It’s not like things can get any worse.

With a deep breath, the brunette knocked on the apartment door. There was a long pause before the sound of the door unlocking and it began to open.

“Nanami-san, I told you not—“

Grey eyes locked with green once again. The atmosphere was all too familiar, and it almost choked Hinata. They stood there, staring, the boy before Hinata in complete shock. It felt like forever had passed before the brunette broke the silence.

“Hi,” he murmured, biting his lip, eyes glancing away, breaking the long gaze the pair had shared.

“...How…” The snow haired boy started, frozen in the doorway. “How did you find me?”

“Nanami has been my friend for a lot longer than you might think,” Hinata answered, slowly meeting those stunning grey eyes once again.

“Oh.”

There was a long pause again, tension thick as wool in the air. It was painful, if Hinata was going to be honest. He wanted things to be lighter, easier. Y’know, the mushy stuff he doesn’t plan to say out loud.

“Can I…” the brunette started, but the rest of his sentence died on his lips. The crippling anxiety in his stomach was eating away at him. He was beginning to regret this. He shouldn't have come. This was a mistake.

“...I don't expect you to trust me after everything I’ve done,” Komaeda murmured, almost inaudible. If Hinata had been any further away from the entrance he probably wouldn’t have even heard the other speak. “But… I suggest you leave. Someone like me will only make things worse. I have horrible luck.” A breathy chuckle escaped the boys lips and he fidgeted with his fingers, looking down.

“I don’t care,” Hinata furrowed his eyebrows, a bit annoyed with Komaeda’s attitude.

“You should,” Komaeda replied, avoiding eye contact with Hinata at all costs, beginning to close the door. “Take care, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata slammed his hand onto the door’s cold surface, stopping it from moving any further. Komaeda met Hinata’s forest green eyes in mild surprise, but quickly looked away, adam’s apple bobbing as he gulped.

“I got your note, Komaeda,” Hinata began, going a bit soft to try and convince Komaeda that he didn’t hate him. “I… I appreciate it. Yeah, I mean… I am pissed you left like that. You just… ran away. That’s not how you handle these kind of situations. Or any situation, for that matter—“

“I understand, Hinata-kun, you hate me, it’s not—“

“I don’t fucking hate you!” Hinata hissed, furrowing his eyebrows. “I care about you! Why do you think I came here? To just… go off on you? I came here to try and be friends again! I like talking to you! Yeah, you can be pretty odd at times, and we don’t agree on a lot of things, but…” Hinata sighed, lowering his hand from the door and shoving both in his pockets. “You’re kinda… relaxing to be around. I know that you’re a ser—uh, you have a different kind of  _ career _ or whatever, but I feel kinda safe around you. I really think I’m crazy or something for feeling that way, but… it’s the truth.”

Komaeda just stared at the brunette, eyes wide. The seconds of silence between them stretched out, unnerving Hinata. He shuffled his feet, ready to excuse himself since it seemed like Komaeda just wanted him to leave, but the boy in front of him beat him to it.

“This is so very selfish and cruel of me…” He whispered, opening the door fully and stepping aside. “But please, do come in, if you wish.”

Ah, the sweet taste of victory.

Hinata walked inside the white haired boys apartment, and the other closed the door behind them. The brunette observed his surroundings and was quite surprised by the size and tidiness of Komaeda’s home. It consisted of whites and greys, dark, wooden accents here and there. Only simple furniture and such scattered around the visible rooms: couch, coffee table, TV on a wooden cabinet against the wall in the living room on the left. And on the right, a stove, fridge, dishwasher, microwave, and a table with only two chairs. One was actually at the table, neatly pushed in, the other was pushed off into the corner. Hinata felt his heart sink a bit. Does Komaeda not have people over? Much less…  _ a _ person?

“This place is quite underwhelming, I apologize,” Komaeda murmured, rubbing his arms, looking nervous.

“There’s no need to apologize,” Hinata replied calmly, looking over at Komaeda. “Your apartment is actually really nice.”

“...Thanks, I suppose…” Komaeda answered. He barely moved. The only movements he made was the rise and fall of his chest with each breath and every blink, white eyelashes shadowing his eyes. The pale boy hesitantly met Hinata’s eyes, body stiff, lips pursed.

If Hinata was going to be completely honest, Komaeda truly stood out to him. Lean and agile, the white haired boy was always fascinating in his own little ways. But his hair had always been his defining and eye-catching trait when his white and red mask was on. It was messy and all over the place, but somehow, the boy made it work. It looked soft and Hinata often found himself itching to reach out and run his fingers through it; However, ever since Hinata had realized the boy he saw in that grocery store so long ago was the same boy he knew now, the white hair came second to those striking grey eyes. Hinata had never had a moment to admire them up until now. The color fit Komaeda’s pale complexion beautifully, complimenting his white lashes. They were like misty crystals, or water on a cloudy day. Hinata had seen many eye colors before, and grey wasn’t anything odd like red or purple. But for some reason… the color seemed so much more  _ unique _ for Komaeda.

Suddenly, Komaeda ripped his gaze away from Hinata’s and the brunette felt a sinking guilt in his stomach for no apparent reason.

“Komaeda,” Hinata called softly, hoovering his hand just over the boys shoulder. “Can I give you a hug? I feel like you… like you kind of need it…”

“I…” the white haired boy paused. “I don’t really… I-I’m not good at hugging. People… don’t touch me.”

“Can I…?”

“...Okay.”

And with that, Komaeda turned just a bit, only for Hinata to quickly wrap his arms around him, one hand on his lower back and the other on his nape. The brunette took the chance and softly touched the white hair just barely falling onto Komaeda’s shoulders.

_ Soft. Very soft. _

Komaeda didn’t seem to know where to put his hands, for they just remained in the air next to Hinata’s waist. The brunette sighed and leaned back to look at the boy in his embrace, smiling gently in amusement at his awkwardness. There was a pink tint on the pale boys cheeks.

“You don’t have to hug me back, Komaeda,” Hinata spoke. “I can stop—“

“No,” Komaeda spat out, a flash of panic in his eyes. “I want to… I just don't know where… where do I put my hands…?”

“Just on my back, it’s okay,” The brunette replied, trying his best to be comforting and patient with the other.

Komaeda was the one then to lean forward and hesitantly place his hands on Hinata’s back, arms stiff. Hinata kept his gentle embrace with Komaeda, the others hair brushing against his cheek.

He quickly lost track of time and was about to pull back to prevent the other from growing uncomfortable (if he wasn’t already) when the arms around him slowly tightened and thin fingers grasped at his shirt. Hinata opened his mouth to ask if Komaeda was okay, but quickly stopped when the others shoulders began to shake just a bit. The other boy buried his face into Hinata’s collar, grasping tighter at the brunettes shirt.

“Komaeda…” Hinata murmured, furrowing his eyebrows in worry as he gave the other a gentle squeeze.

“Nobody…” The white haired boys shaky voice was muffled by the fabric of the brunettes shirt, which was growing wet with tears. “Nobody has held me in a long time. Nobody has touched me in a kind way in a long time.”

Hinata remained silent, resting his head on the others shoulder, listening to him.

“It’s so very selfish of me to indulge on your affection, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda’s voice was barely staying together. “It’s very dangerous and unwise on your part. But I can’t…” A quiet sob and a squeeze. “I can’t stop. Hinata-kun, what have you done…? What have you done to me…? I can’t lose another, I can’t, I can’t…”

“Komaeda, what do you mean—“

“All of my loved ones died when I was young, Hinata-kun,” the white haired boy whispered. “I’m so very sick. I have almost died so many times. My luck comes in waves. Highs and immediate lows. You…” he paused. “You are my good luck, Hinata-kun. Bad luck is but on the horizon. I will lose you, I will, I will—“

“No,” Hinata pulled back from the shared hug, grabbing Komaeda’s head by the sides. “You won’t.”

“You don’t know that.”

“And you don’t know if I  _ will _ leave. So shut up.” Hinata locked their gazes together, remaining unmoving. “I’m not leaving. I came here for a reason, Komaeda. You’re a good friend. Despite how surprising it is to me to know this, but I truly care about your well-being. Yeah, you’re kind of a serial killer, but… you’re not a bad guy.”

Komaeda went silent, just staring at Hinata, lips barely parted. He raised his hands and wiped his cheeks, rubbing the tears away and sniffling a bit.

“You  _ will _ hate me, Hinata-kun.”

“But I don’t. So why don’t we spend more time together? It’ll be nice.”

That seemed to snap Komaeda out of his trance, and he slowly made eye contact with Hinata once more.

“I mean it.” Hinata added, smiling softly.

The other boy went silent for a few seconds, only shaky breaths escaping his throat.

“Okay,” Komaeda replied, slowly moving in to hug Hinata again. “Thank you… Hinata-kun.”

“It’s no problem,” The brunette could feel himself and the other begin to relax. Then he got an idea. “Got any nice movies?”

Komaeda leaned back, smiling as he let out a quiet giggle. “Possibly.”

“Let’s check it out then.”

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> deep ass talks lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SO SORRY OH MY GOD MY TIRED ASS DIDNT PROCESS YESTERDAY WAS MONDAY AND I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THIS LSJFKSKJDKGK IM SO SORRY

Hinata didn’t understand why he was so hyper aware of the space between him and Komaeda.

Was it because they just hadn’t seen each other in awhile? Yeah, maybe. That’d make sense. But now that he thinks about, looking at the TV screen where the movie played—absorbing  _ nothing— _ he’d always been very much aware of how far or close Komaeda was. He’d always unconsciously taken note of it. It was always something he noticed.

Hinata pulled the blanket over him tighter around his shoulders, keeping his eyes fixed on the screen in front of him. He’d been tuning in and out of the movie since the beginning, so he’s completely lost. There’s a guy—who just got shot—and is hiding under a table. There’s flashlight beams moving across the room and clicking sounds. What were they watching again? God, he didn’t even remember. Komaeda just pulled up a movie Hinata didn’t recognize, asked if it was okay, and the brunette just answered “yeah, that’s fine”. God, he needed to start paying attention. Komaeda might try and talk to him about it after it’s finished. Shit.

Hinata tried his best to stay focused on the movie, getting a bit filled in on what the movie was going on about. Apocalyptic shit. Guess Komaeda liked that stuff, huh? Not that surprising. He’ll keep that in mind.

But Hinata couldn’t pay attention for more than two minutes. Komaeda would shuffle his feet, move his arm, just fucking  _ breathe, _ and Hinata’s attention was once again ripped from the movie playing. He  _ knew _ he wasn’t scared of him, but he couldn’t figure out what was making him so… jumpy?

In and out of focus he went, over and over again, until he just gave up and glanced over at Komaeda.

And grey eyes locked with green.

Huh. Alright. He wasn’t the only one.

“A-ah,” Komaeda quickly looked away. “I apologize.”

“Uhh…” Hinata tilted his head, confused. “For what exactly?”

“I…” Komaeda fidgeted with his fingers, looking down, legs crossed in front of him.

“You just looked at me,” Hinata began. “What’s wrong with that?”

Komaeda didn’t say anything, still keeping his eyes fixed downward. He looked guilty.

The brunette sighed quietly and slowly moved over to the other boys side. He gently tapped Komaeda’s arm, smiling softly when the white haired boy looked up. They sat there quietly, just gazing at each other, the voices and sound effects from the movie turning into a simple white noise.

Komaeda looked away suddenly, as if he was spooked.

“I’ve just…” he murmured, quiet and insecure. “Nanami-san can’t stay long, if I even let her in.” He paused, messing with his hair. “You’re very stubborn, Hinata-kun. You’re strong, full of hope. You won’t tolerate me shutting you out.” Komaeda looked up to the other boy, smile shaky, tears in his eyes. “You forced me to come forth and address my mistakes, deal with the hurt I’ve caused you. I just… I can’t begin to believe that you actually have forgiven me. I’m horrible, disgusting, a true abomination, and yet, you go out of your way and find me and speak with me despite all I’ve done to you and to others and-and to all of—“

Komaeda cut himself off when Hinata leaned forward and wrapped his arms around him once more. The brunette moved a bit closer, resting his cheek on the others shoulder. Komaeda quickly clung onto Hinata in return, turning towards him, holding on tight like the brunette would slip from his fingertips if he let go.

“I’m sorry,” Komaeda choked, breath hot against Hinata’s neck. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry—“

“There’s no need to be sorry, Komaeda,” Hinata murmured, sympathy filling his chest. “Honestly, I don’t even know  _ why _ you’re apologizing.”

“I’m just such a burden to you,” Komaeda whimpered. His grip on Hinata loosened, hands hesitant. “I can’t take care of you. Look, you’re caring for worthless trash like me, I can’t repay you.”

“Are you fucking out of it or something?” Hinata leaned back from Komaeda, cocking his head to the side, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Komaeda, you  _ saved my life. _ As cheesy as that is, you did. I owe you more than you think. Because of  _ your _ actions, I got to live another day. I got to see my friends, my family.”

“You got hurt!” Komaeda retorted, weakness and vulnerability washing over him. Hinata had never wanted to hold someone closer in his life. “You ended up in the hospital!  _ You got hurt! _ ”

“Not because of you.”

“I was too late! That’s what!” Komaeda slumped down, resting his head against Hinata’s chest. “I couldn’t protect you. I couldn’t repay you for your hospitality, your kindness. I’m so sick, Hinata-kun, so sick…” He took a deep breath in. “You… you were the first good thing I experienced in a long, long time. I’m…”

He stopped.

“Komaeda…?” Hinata called softly, running his hand up his back, tracing his spine. Which, not to mention, was worryingly prominent, along with his shoulder blades and collarbones.

“Nothing,” The white haired boy muttered. “It was nothing, Hinata-kun. ‘Just lost my train of thought.”

“Ko, I’m not stupid,” Hinata replied with a sigh. “What was it?”

“I…” he paused, hands falling to Hinata’s hips and gripping the fabric. “I just… you’re important, Hinata-kun. So many people care for you. You have a family, friends. You have  _ Nanami. _ You’re so…”—A quick gasp of breath, an obvious attempt to calm himself and mask a cry.—“You’re so loved.”

Hinata remained silent, resting his head gently on Komaeda, waiting for the other boy to continue. He felt all he needed to do right now was listen. Comfort with words can come in a bit. Komaeda just needs a person willing to listen.

“I don’t have such a luxury that you and many others possess,” the white haired boy started. “I’ve been alone for very long. So… this time… all this time I’m spending with you… right now… I feel so at ease. I feel… weak. Vulnerable. I don’t like it. I don’t like feeling at ease, Hinata-kun. It’s scary. This is so unfamiliar, and I know it won’t last. It’s not going to last, Hinata-kun. It can’t last.”

“It can if we try,” the brunette softly spoke. “If we try, if  _ you _ try, things can last.”

“No. They can’t. That’s impossible.”

“You’re wrong,” Hinata retorted, still speaking quietly. “You’re far from the truth, Komaeda. I understand it’s scary, but… you have to start opening up. No person on this planet can stay completely isolated. I can spend time with you. I can help you.” He lowered his voice. “You just have to let me.”

Komaeda remained silent for a minute or so, but it felt like an eternity to Hinata.

“Okay,” the other boy murmured. “Okay, I’ll… I’ll try.”

Relief. Pure and utter  _ relief. _

**——**

Hinata had left much later after that, soon finding out it was 10 o'clock at night. He walked home silently, completely unable to wipe the soft smile from his face, the light feeling in his chest.

Komaeda was a good person. His intentions were in the right place—despite his actions being pretty far from okay—and he truly was just…  _ lonely _ . He always blew off the fact that he was depressed and needed another person in his life, putting on that red teared mask almost every night to hide that insecurity. He put himself in a position that made him feel somewhat important, somewhat needed. The motivation behind his killings was a factor, of course, but insecurity  _ had _ to play a part in it as well.

Hinata opened the door to his apartment, eyes heavy. He kicked off his shoes as he closed the door behind him, yawning as he walked into his bedroom. He crawled in bed after changing clothes and drifted to sleep.

**——**

Every place the brunette had touched him burned. His arms, his palms, his fingertips, his back, his shoulder. Everything burned. It burned, it burned.

He craved for more.

Komaeda sat quietly on the couch, huddled into the armrest and back cushion, staring at his hands. Unblinking, he traced the patterns in his skin, breathing calmly. Touching someone and being touched in return— _ willingly _ —was something almost magical. Holding Hinata’s hand and carrying him for safety was  _ so _ much different than this very night.  _ Being _ held was so much different. The best kind of different. It was scary, it made him want to run away to keep Hinata safe, to keep him from wasting away in front of the boys eyes, dying horribly.

Komaeda was so selfish. So, so selfish.

Indulging himself in Hinata’s presence was basically  _ begging _ for his luck to rip the brunette away from him. He was putting Hinata in deadly danger. He was slowly killing him, even if the boy didn’t know it yet.

Luck came in waves: meeting Hinata was amazingly good luck, losing him was horribly bad luck. Now Hinata has returned to him, wanting to be with the white haired boy once again. Amazingly good luck. But Komaeda knew what came next.

He’d lose him  _ again. _

Who knows how he’ll lose such an amazing person. Via force, torture, death, and worst of all… purposely leaving Komaeda. It didn’t matter anyway. He  _ will _ lose Hinata, one way or another.

Komaeda clenched his fists, opening them back up and digging his fingernails into the other hands wrist. He needed to stop. Stop quietly torturing Hinata, stop meeting him, stop savoring those… gorgeously kind eyes and gentle smile. Stop touching him. Stop looking at him. Stop craving his company. Stop wanting all of his affection and attention. Stop wanting lips on his own so,  _ so desperately. _

He was a pining mess. A pining piece of shit, horribly disgusting and useless human being. He didn’t deserve what he wanted, and he needed to accept that. He has accepted it before, why couldn’t he accept it now?

He was merely a tool to be used. His emotions and wants didn’t matter at all.

Hell, the only reason he became The Ultimate Hope in the first place was to pass the title onto someone else. Another person so much more worthy of such an important part of society than he ever will be. He wasn’t worthy of keeping it. At the first sign of a person worthy and willing to take on the title, he’d give it away happily. He didn’t need it. He was only a temporary holder of the place to keep it safe as he waited for that hopeful, capable person.

Hinata would be very worthy,  _ perfect _ for such a part, but the boy would  _ never _ agree to a violent life. Plus, he had family and friends to focus on. Komaeda didn’t.

Ha, it was delusional to even think such ridiculous things.

Komaeda didn’t deserve luxuries like love and care. He didn’t. He never would be worthy of such wonderful things. But  _ God, _ kill him if he were to ever stop thinking and dreaming of soft hands and gentle eyes. As much as he craved for such things to be real, he knew his wishes would never come true. It was simply his irrational conscious trying to trick him into thinking it’s possible. It’s not. He didn’t deserve it, nor could he hold onto it.

Luck could be quite horrible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls forgive m e


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FRIENDS!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “aiden?? why?? are you publishing?? on wednesday???? u crazy lil shit”
> 
> weLL YOU SEE: i have no patience, and i want to get out the majority of this before school starts so :) three updates a week for you deprived children

_ Knock knock. _

Hinata waited patiently for Komaeda to open the door, shuffling his feet. It had only been a few days since the night the pair had spent together, but after quickly getting each others numbers, Hinata felt a lot more connected with the other boy. Before and after Komaeda left for his almost daily, uh…  _ killings, _ they’d talk about almost anything. It felt good to finally start to  _ personally _ get to know the boy behind the mask.

“Ah, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda smiled as he opened the door, obviously happy to see the brunette. “Would you like to come in?”

“Sure,” Hinata smiled in return, stepping inside. He watched the white haired boy close the door and continued to follow him into the kitchen. Komaeda offered the other boy something to drink, but Hinata declined.

“I actually came here to invite you out,” the brunette casually said, looking to Komaeda as he sat down at the table with Hinata.

However, the second those words left Hinata’s mouth, Komaeda froze. He looked to the other in complete disbelief, cheeks slowly flushing into a bright pink.

“Wh…” Komaeda stuttered. “...What?”

“N-no, no!” Hinata began to blush as well, waving his hands defensively, realizing that his previous words sent the wrong message much too easily. God, he needs to start thinking before he speaks. “I-I didn’t mean like, as a date o-or anything! I meant to invite y-you to go meet my friends! Y-yeah! Sorry, I…I didn’t think about how I worded that…”

Silence.

Komaeda looked away, chuckling a bit and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. “Ah, I see I misunderstood. I apologize for panicking you.”

“No, it’s really my fault,” Hinata assured, rubbing his nape in embarrassment. “I should’ve thought about how I worded that before I actually spoke.”

“It’s alright, Hinata-kun, really,” Komaeda smiled kindly. “But I’m afraid I’m not worthy of meeting your friends.”

_ Huh? _

“What do you mean?” Hinata questioned, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

“I am a worthless human being, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda replied, folding his hands on the table in front of him. “I don’t deserve you or Nanami-san, much less meeting an entire group of wonderful people.”

“That’s bullshit,” Hinata monotoned, annoyed but also really worried. “You’re a great guy, Komaeda, they’ll like you. It’ll be fine.”

Komaeda shook his head, a smile on his lips, but any person that knew him would know it’s fake.

“Seriously, Komaeda, stop,” Hinata flicked his forehead. “You’re fine. C’mon.”

Komaeda only looked to him, unmoving.

The brunette sighed. “Komaeda, don’t make me drag your ass out of here, ‘cause I will if you don’t come out on your own.”

Komaeda frowned. “It seems you don’t understand, Hinata-kun—“

“Same for you, Komaeda,” Hinata stood up, hands resting on the table as he leaned forward, scolding the other boy. “You have to get out of your house now and then— _not_ to kill people,” Hinata quickly added as Komaeda opened his mouth to speak. After, Komaeda immediately closed his mouth and pouted a bit. “You can make some more friends than just me and Nanami, Ko. It’ll be good for you.” He paused and rubbed Komaeda’s head playfully (as an excuse to touch his hair again because… really? Is it even humanly possible for someone's hair to be _so_ messy but _so_ _fucking_ soft at the same time?). “It’ll make me happy.”

Komaeda made eye contact with Hinata, and the brunette could basically see the gears turning in his head. Wow, that’s really all it took to make him consider coming with? Well then… guess who will be using that to their advantage more often…?

“Fine,” Komaeda sighed, standing up and walking towards the door. “If it satisfies you, I’ll come with.”

“Awesome!” Hinata grinned rushing over to the door and quickly leading Komaeda out by the hand.

**——**

“ _ Hinata-saaaaaaaaaaaaaan! _ ”

Before the brunette could even prepare himself—much less warn Komaeda who was walking  _ right next to him _ —Owari tackled him in a hug from behind, basically screaming in laughter in his ear. God, he’s going to bleed from the ears if she continues this shit.

“I haven’t seen you in  _ forever! _ ” She pulled back, turning him around with incredible strength. “How are you?!” She looked to Komaeda and gasped. “Who’s this?!”

“That’s Komaeda,” Hinata answered, holding back a wince with how hard the other brunette was squeezing his shoulders. “He’s a friend of mine. I thought it’d be nice to introduce him to you guys.”

Komaeda waved, smiling kindly. “Pleasure to meet you,” he chimed. “What’s your name?”

“Owari Akane!” She replied loudly, finally releasing Hinata who sighed in relief. “C’mon! We can introduce ya to everyone else!”

“Yeah,” Hinata agreed, smiling to Komaeda and gently nudging his hand. “Let’s go.”

Komaeda looked quite taken aback with Hinata’s gentleness as Owari ran ahead, yelling to everyone that Hinata had arrived with a friend. His grey eyes gleamed a bit before he quickly looked away, a light pink blooming on his cheeks. The white haired boy muttered a “come on” before beginning to walk towards the park everyone was gathered at, sitting in the grass together, shouting for Hinata to hurry up.

The brunette, who was very confused, followed Komaeda, but tried to brush off the other boys sudden reaction to his touch.

“Hinata-kun!” Sonia exclaimed, smiling brightly. “Welcome!”

“Thanks,” He smiled softly, sitting down. When Komaeda just stood there awkwardly, he rolled his eyes and yanked his arm, sending the other boy stumbling down into a sitting position with a yelp.

“Who’s that?” Souda questioned, popping the bubble gum sucker he had in his mouth out and pointing it at Komaeda.

“I’m Komaeda Nagito,” Komaeda answered, smiling gently. “It’s nice to meet you all.” He bowed his head a bit.

“He’s a friend of mine,” Hinata added, looking to the other and smiling, feeling proud. “I thought it’d be nice to bring him with me to meet you guys.”

Souda raised an eyebrow, a small smirk on his lips as he looked quite skeptical, but just muttered a “‘Kay” and popped the candy back into his mouth.

Hinata didn’t like that look. Who knows what the guy was thinking at this point.

Hinata made sure that Komaeda got involved in a conversation so he didn’t feel anymore uneasy them he already did, and he basically glowed in happiness. He was filled with pride that he was able to drag Komaeda out of his house and get him to socialize. It’ll be good for him.

Hinata looked over to Nanami, who was chatting with Tsumiki, and he caught her eye. She briefly looked at him and smiled, giving him two thumbs up. The brunette breathily chuckled in amusement.

Ha. Glad to know she approved.

“Hinata-kun.”

Said boy turned to Komaeda, paying attention.

“I’m sorry for being so stubborn with you, Hinata-kun,” The white haired boy looked away, looking a bit ashamed. “I should’ve listened and followed you without hesitation. I angered and upset you, I apologize.”

“Komaeda…” Hinata sighed, running a hand through his short hair. “You didn’t anger  _ or _ upset me. It’s fine, okay?”

“Hinata-kun, but—“

“Nope,” Hinata quickly covered Komaeda’s mouth with his hand. “Nope, nope, don’t. You’re fine, it’s fine, everything’s fine. Shut up. Stop apologizing and putting yourself down. You’re great, Komaeda, okay? There’s no need to apologize. I don’t need an apology.”

Komaeda fell silent as Hinata removed his hand, messing with his pale fingers.

“...Thank you… Hinata-kun,” Komaeda murmured, looking down at his lap.

“For what?” The brunette tilted his head.

“For caring for me,” Komaeda smiled softly. “It…” He pauses, biting his lip. “It feels nice.”

Hinata’s heart fluttered and he felt the strong temptation to reach out and hold the other boys hand.

But no. That’s not appropriate. Komaeda probably wouldn’t like that.

Instead, he simply smiled widely. “I can’t help but care for you, Ko,” he replied, chuckling a bit. “You’re… you’re a great friend.”

Komaeda looked to Hinata and smiled in return. Something was off in the look in his eyes, but Hinata brushed it off. It was most likely simple nervousness. He was around a lot of people he didn’t know very well. Hinata will just try his best to easy the other boys anxiety.

Afterall, they’re friends. That’s what friends are supposed to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its getting there guys aight juuuuuuust wait a lil longe r


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> souda u rascal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im SO fuckin bored and tired entertain me peasants

**Souda**

**8:32 pm**

yo, i have a question and its very very important

  
  


Hinata furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he poured himself a glass of water in his kitchen. This sounded odd and… God, was this some more  _ Souda-Bullshit _ ? Hinata swears he’ll beat his ass if it’s some stupid prank or joke or something.

The group, including Komaeda and him, had dispersed after some time, probably only an hour ago. Hinata had insisted on walking Komaeda home, but the other boy quickly and very quietly told him he was going out tonight, and he’d prefer if Hinata didn’t accidentally get caught up in something again. The brunette understood—although, he’ll admit, he was a bit disappointed—and the two said their farewells.

Hinata picked up his phone after taking a gulp of water, sitting down at the counter.

  
  


**Hinata**

**8:33 pm**

???

  
  


The brunette was a bit shocked by how quick Souda replied.

  
  


**Souda**

**8:33 pm**

are u n komaeda like

**Souda**

**8:34 pm**

dating or smth???

  
  


Hinata’s face bloomed with a hot blush and he _ very quickly _ replied, tapping at his phone much harder than necessary.

  
  


**Hinata**

**8:35 pm**

Of course not!!! The hell did you get that from?!

**Souda**

**8:36 pm**

damnnnnn, getting defensive now, rnt we????

**Souda**

**8:36 pm**

it was a simple question, but now im doubting ur answer lmao

  
  


Hinata felt a mixture of anger and embarrassment bubble in his stomach and chest. Jesus, where was Souda getting this from? This is some fucking joke again, isn’t it?

  
  


**Hinata**

**8:37 pm**

Now you’re just making assumptions!!! Anyone would get pissed if you accused them of dating a friend!!!

**Souda**

**8:37 pm**

u sure about that??

**Souda**

**8:38 pm**

last time someone asked if u n nanami were dating, you were very calm about it

**Souda**

**8:38 pm**

u were just like “nahhh, we’re just childhood friendsss”

**Souda**

**8:39 pm**

but w o w i e

**Souda**

**8:39 pm**

this is a much different reaction, now isnt it?? im starting to think ur lying

**Souda**

**8:40 pm**

OOOOOOOOO

**Souda**

**8:40 pm**

OOORRRR

**Souda**

**8:40 pm**

UR MEGA PINING!!!!

**Souda**

**8:41 pm**

UR CRUSHING ON HIM RNT U

  
  


Hinata is so ready to beat Souda’s ass into the ground next time he sees him.

  
  


**Hinata**

**8:42 pm**

Am fucking not!!! He’s a friend, asshole!!! Stop it!!!

**Souda**

**8:43 pm**

HINATA LIKES KOMAEDAAAAAA

**Souda**

**8:44 pm**

ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10 HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT TO FUCK HIM HUH??????????

**Souda**

**8:44 pm**

50????????????

  
  


This was getting worse by the second.

  
  


**Hinata**

**8:44 pm**

Oh my god!!! Souda!!! Stop it!!! That is SO fucking inappropriate!!!

**Souda**

**8:45 pm**

OwO

**Souda**

**8:45 pm**

RLLY???????

**Souda**

**8:45 pm**

OR R U JUST MAD CUZ IM RIGHT??????

**Souda**

**8:46 pm**

HAHAHAHAHAH LMAOOOOO IM RIGHT RNT I

**Hinata**

**8:46 pm**

Shut up you little shit!!! I’ll come over to your house and beat you!!!

**Souda**

**8:47 pm**

i would usually feel very threatened at this point but i bet u 5000 yen ur blushing ur ass offfffffffff

**Souda**

**8:48 pm**

u should totally tell him man

**Souda**

**8:48 pm**

he 110% likes u back lmaO its so fucking obvious

**Souda**

**8:49 pm**

he stared at u like 99% of the time for the full three hours we were all hanging out bro

**Souda**

**8:49 pm**

he straight up would only look away if someone was directly talking to him

**Souda**

**8:50 pm**

oh the look in his eyes~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Souda**

**8:50 pm**

so romantic~~~~~~~~

**Souda**

**8:51 pm**

and it was even MORE obvious when u guys talked WOW

**Souda**

**8:51 pm**

i bet u if u offered to kiss him he wouldve died on the spot

**Souda**

**8:51 pm**

ohhh but the look ud give him too~~~~~~~

**Souda**

**8:52 pm**

the lovey dovey shit was so very much mutual~~~~~~~~ <33

**Souda**

**8:53 pm**

yall should get a fucking room

**Souda**

**8:53 pm**

lock u n him up in a closet n see what happens ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ who knows until we try it

**Souda**

**8:56 pm**

lmao u dead man??????

  
  


Hinata simply stared at his screen, unable to process how he was feeling. Souda was wrong. Had to be. They’re friends. Komaeda saved his life, and Hinata felt they’d make a good… they’d be good friends. So that’s what he did. He got attached. Who wouldn’t, right?

Or was Souda spot on…?

Once Hinata started to think about it, he couldn’t stop. Had he  _ seriously _ been this oblivious with his own feelings? Had he  _ seriously _ denied such an obvious thing? Had it  _ seriously _ taken another person to tell him he liked the white haired boy for the brunette to realize such a thing?

He’s so out of touch with his emotions. Jesus Christ.

Hinata buried his face in his hands, his cheeks warm to the touch. That’s why. That’s why he felt his heart stutter and nearly stop whenever Komaeda looked to him with such utter care and softness. That’s why he couldn't help but nearly  _ crave _ to touch Komaeda like he did on that one night together. That’s why he was so aware of the boys every movement. That's why he was always crossing his fingers Komaeda would touch him. That’s why he… uh… other things.

  
  


**Hinata**

**9:03 pm**

Oh my god I like Komaeda.

**Souda**

**9:05 pm**

i cannot believe it took me screaming at u over text for u to realize the most obvious thing in existence

**Souda**

**9:06 pm**

now, mr pining princess, go confess ur undying love to ur lowkey creepy prince charming UwU

**Hinata**

**9:06 pm**

I hate you.

**Souda**

**9:07 pm**

gasp

**Souda**

**9:07 pm**

:’(

**Souda**

**9:08 pm**

u hate the man who helped u realize ur feelings becuz ur so fuckin dense????

**Souda**

**9:09 pm**

thats just cruel hinata

**Hinata**

**9:10 pm**

Souda, seriously. I can’t just go knocking on Komaeda’s door like, “Hey! I just realized I’ve liked you romantically for basically forever! Wanna go out?”

**Souda**

**9:10 pm**

uuuhhhhhh yeah u can lol

**Hinata**

**9:11 pm**

-_- No, I can’t. That’s creepy as hell.

**Souda**

**9:11 pm**

DUDE

**Souda**

**9:12 pm**

U COULD LITERALLY ASK THAT GUY IF ITS OK TO LICK HIS FACE AND HED PROBABLY GO “yes pls”

**Souda**

**9:13 pm**

“find it creepy”?? creepy my ass

**Souda**

**9:14 pm**

hed faint if anything

**Hinata**

**9:15 pm**

You haven’t known him for almost a year, Souda.

**Souda**

**9:16 pm**

yeah, but i have eyes

**Souda**

**9:16 pm**

and im not hinata “dense tsundere” hajime

**Hinata**

**9:17 pm**

I’m pretty sure the only reason you’re in my life is to make me absolutely miserable.

**Souda**

**9:17 pm**

well i hope im doing a good job then ;)

**Souda**

**9:18 pm**

u being extremely dense and stupid aside, i seriously think its be good for both of u if u confessed bro

**Souda**

**9:18 pm**

its literally impossible for komaeda to say no. he cant physically say no to u

**Hinata**

**9:19 pm**

You’re exaggerating.

**Souda**

**9:19 pm**

yeah and?? im right

**Souda**

**9:20 pm**

i will text u weird messages every morning and night until u confess

**Hinata**

**9:21 pm**

Yeah, okay, whatever Souda.

**——**

Souda wasn’t lying.

  
  


**Souda**

**10:03 am**

have u confessed yet

**Hinata**

**10:05 am**

No.

**Souda**

**10:05 am**

did u know sharks have two dicks

**Souda**

**10:05 am**

so do snakes

**Souda**

**10:06 am**

wow wouldnt it be cool to have two dicks

**Hinata**

**10:07 am**

No, Souda. It really wouldn’t.

**Souda**

**10:07 am**

u could out-dick all of ur friends

**Souda**

**10:08 am**

someone has a 9 inch dick???? u still win cuz you have TWO FUCKIN DICKS

**Hinata**

**10:09 am**

Please stop texting me.

**Souda**

**10:10 am**

lol no

**Souda**

**10:10 pm**

return tonight for the 22nd weird fact until hinata confesses!!!! STAY TUNED!!!!

  
  


Hinata didn’t reply. He was already exhausted.

Turns out Souda wasn’t the only one who noticed the, quote, “heavy romantic tension,'' end quote. You can thank Sonia for that one. She was the only one to put it “gently” out of everyone. The worst descriptions came from Souda (of course), Siaonji, and Mioda.

In other words, Souda can’t keep his mouth shut and Hinata is stupidly oblivious and it’s extremely embarrassing.

The brunette has had plenty of chances to confess, really. Komaeda’s been hanging out with the group and him more often, and oftentimes they end up being one of the few still together after a while. He’s had the chance  _ so _ many times but he just… can’t bring himself to say anything. He’s never really confessed to someone. How are you supposed to do that? “Hi, I’m in love with you”? Yeah, no. Hinata has been confessed  _ to, _ but he’s never confessed to  _ another person. _ He’s never had the need for it. Of course, he’s had fleeting crushes on different guys and girls over the years, that’s only natural. Hell, he’d even had a small crush on Nanami temporarily. But Komaeda… Komaeda was different. This wasn’t just some temporary crush that’d be gone in the next few weeks. Now that the brunette has laid awake at night, staring at the ceiling for hours, he’s had time to think over things. Hinata has unknowingly liked Komaeda for a  _ long _ time. Hinata has thought it over and over and over again and… he’s probably liked Komaeda since even before he saved his life.

Hinata ran both his hands down his face after setting his phone down, groaning. This was emotionally exhausting. Why was liking someone so exhausting? He shouldn’t be spending his time daydreaming and giggling like some schoolgirl. So, of course, here he sits, heart pounding and face flushed at the mere  _ thought _ of confessing his romantic feelings.

If anything, even  _ if _ Komaeda liked the brunette romantically in return, he didn’t seem to be in a right state of mind for a relationship. He could barely handle a friendship with a few people. The last thing Hinata wanted to do was to make the other uncomfortable or feel forced and obliged to accept him. He didn’t want to force Komaeda into a relationship.

Jesus fucking Christ, how was he going to figure this out? At this rate Hinata was going to bury his feelings deep, deep down in his heart, and then one day… he’ll die.

Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i like writing humor but im not v good at it lajflskfdkkf


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> amusement park!! :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its 12:28 am its technically monday FUCK YOU

Hinata looked up at the bright and colorful sign, declaring itself as the amusement park entrance. The sun beat down on his skin and he silently appreciated the fact that he didn’t burn easily. It was a hot and clear-skyed day, leaving the sun’s rays uncovered at any point. There thankfully was a gentle breeze every once in awhile, which felt  _ amazing _ .

Owari and Mioda had excitedly invited everyone to a local amusement park for the day, just for fun. The entire group made sure they could attend and they all met at the entrance at noon. They’d be staying for quite awhile, since Mioda  _ insisted _ they all stay for the band showing up late at night.

“It’s too ho~t…” Saionji complained, hanging off of Koizumi’s shoulder and fanning herself. She was wearing shorts and a T-shirt, just like her girlfriend. Everyone had worn appropriate attire for the hot day.

“Do you want to go home already?” Koizumi asked, and Hinata could only chuckle as Saionji broke out into a cry of denial.

“I apologize,” Peko spoke up, running over to the group. “I got caught up in my practice session. I lost track of time.”

“It’s fine,” Nanami smiled, patting the taller girl’s shoulder.

“Okay!” Mioda yelled, clapping her hands together and grinning. “Ibuki will now call everyone off to make sure we’re all here!”

“Can we just go?” Kuzuryuu growled, shoving his hands in his pockets. “‘Needa get in the shade.”

“Not yet!” Owari punched the blonde’s shoulder, only earning an aggressive snarl in return. “Gotta wait!”

“Gundham!” Mioda shouted, practically vibrating in excitement.

“Your God is here for the pensants of this overworld,” Gundham declared with a grin, only to earn a light slap on the shoulder along with a ‘knock it off, man’ from Souda, who stood next to him.

“Obviously Souda’s here!” Mioda grinned. “Hinata!”

“H-here,” The brunette hesitantly waved.

“No need to be nervous! Yell!”

“I’ll pass.”

“Suit yourself!” Mioda shrugged, still smiling. “The wonderful Owari is here!”

“ _ Yeah! _ ”

“Twogami!”

“This is pointless,” The blonde boy replied, crossing his arms. “I find it preferable to just head inside. Whoever is late… that is their own fault.”

“Sorry, I wanna make sure nobody’s skippin’ out of this!” Mioda replied, rocking on her feet. “Now… Saionji!”

“Here,” she mockingly replied. “This is stupid.”

“It’s necessary! If Saionji’s here, Koizumi is here!” Mioda continued cheerfully. “Tsu~miki!”

“I-I’m here,” the dark haired girl piped up quietly, waving.

“Great! Sonia!”

“Here!” Sonia rang out, voice smooth and beautiful. She waved gently.

“Nidai!”

“Here!”

“ _ Yeah! _ ” Owari shouted.

“Hanamura!”

Silence.

“Hanamuraaaa…”

“He’s not coming,” Saionji said with an evil grin.

Everyone looked to her, and then back at Mioda.

“Al~right then,” Mioda shrugged.

Hinata worried, but there wasn’t much he could do, huh…?

Whatever happened… already happened.

“So everyone’s here then!” Owari shouted, jumping up to Mioda and catching her neck in her arm, messing with her hair a bit.

“Wait!” Hinata shouted after everyone as they began to walk away. “Uh, K-Komaeda is supposed—“

“I’m right here, Hinata-kun.”

A gentle hand rested on the brunette’s shoulder, and he turned to meet calm, grey eyes.

“O-oh,” Hinata stuttered, then smiled gently, rubbing his nape. “Just in time, huh?”

“I am quite lucky, afterall,” the white haired boy replied with a soft smile. “Now come on, let’s not keep the others waiting.”

“Yeah,” Hinata agreed, still a bit flustered. He took note of the fact that, despite the heat, Komaeda wore a sleeved shirt. This confused the brunette quite a bit, but he forgot about it soon enough.

The pair followed the group of college students to the entrance. There, they got their tickets and passes, and they were off to do whatever they wished.

“You losers go somewhere else!” Saionji shouted, sticking her tongue out at them. “Me and Koizumi-chan are going to spend time together! Go away!”

“We are,” Hinata laughed, walking off with the rest of the group.

“Hey!” Owari shouted, her face practically glowing with happiness as she took hold of Nidai’s and Mioda’s arms. “We’re headin’ off together! See ya later!”

“Hey, Tsumiki-san, Sonia-san,” Nanami gently got the two other girls attention. “Would you like to come with me to the arcade?”

“Oh, of course!” The blonde princess’ eyes sparkled.

“A-ah!” The dark haired girl blushed deeply, looking panicked. “Are you sure…? Why me…?”

“‘Cause you’re nice and soft-spoken,” Nanami took hold of both girls hands with a smile and lead them off, the three chatting softly.

“Twogami, Kuzuryuu and I are leaving,” Peko announced to the remaining group. “Goodbye.”

“So!” Souda clapped his hands together, a mischievous grin on his face. “Guess we’re the remainin’ few!” His eyes immediately locked with Hinata’s and the brunette’s stomach sank. “Let’s all head off.”

_ Oh no. _

“I have no objections,” Gundham replied, beginning to walk with Souda when the mechanic began moving forward.

“C’mon, Hinata, Komaeda!” It was all too obvious Souda was ready to ruin the brunettes day. “Don’t keep us waitin’!”

Komaeda began to follow the pair ahead of them and Hinata quickly caught up.

The four had many different—and some strange, as any friends would have sometimes— conversations as they moved their way through the amusement park. Souda almost cried when Hinata dragged him onto a rollercoaster, the three had to stop Gundham from challenging an employee to a “fight to the death”, Komaeda nearly fainted because of the heat and Hinata lectured him as he bought the other boy a water bottle and put sunscreen on his skin. Y’know… normal, everyday things. It’s not like Hinata focused  _ way _ too much on his hands as he helped apply the sunscreen. No. Not at all.

He would not mind at all, though, if he had to put more sunscreen on Komaeda. Not a problem. Just a good friend helping out. Yep.

Hinata knew he was lying to himself, but he needed to keep his composure. Today was not the day he’d fuck up and embarrass himself, however he managed to do that. He didn’t want or need to find out.

That is… until Souda gave Hinata an evil look and suddenly the pink haired boy and Gundham had magically disappeared.

“Ah,” Komaeda looked around, observing the crowd. “It appears we’ve lost them.”

“Yep,” Hinata replied as he angrily pulled out his phone and opened his messages.

  
  


**Hinata**

**3:56 pm**

Where the FUCK did you go?!

  
  


Souda didn’t reply for a few minutes.

  
  


**Souda**

**4:01 pm**

lol

  
  


**Souda**

**4:02 pm**

i just felt like leavin yknow??? dragged gundham along, he didnt care

  
  


**Hinata**

**4:02 pm**

I am SO ready to strangle you! Stop trying to hook me up with Komaeda! Now isn’t the time!

  
  


**Souda**

**4:03 pm**

oh hinata…….

  
  


**Souda**

**4:03 pm**

it is a l w a y s time

  
  


**Souda**

**4:04 pm**

ooF gtg smrh rlky improtand

  
  


Hinata groaned loudly, shoving his phone back in his pocket.

“Were you able to get ahold of Souda-kun?” Komaeda piped up, curiosity lacing his voice.

“Yep!” Hinata smiled sarcastically, over-exaggerated. “He just decided to abandon us!”

Komaeda laughed. “Why?”

Hinata paused. He knows the reason, but… the last thing he wants is to tell the other boy. Shit, he has to lie.

“I don’t know if I’m gonna be completely honest,” he ran his hand down his face. He really didn’t want to lie but, right now? He had to.

“Mm…” the other boy hummed. “He seems like the mischievous type, am I correct?”

“He’s not doing stuff like this  _ all _ of the time,” Hinata sighed. “But, yeah, he can be a little shit.”

Komaeda smiled, amused by Hinata’s reply.

The pair stood there, off to the side of the walkway, just gazing at each other. Ah, was this the “tension” everyone had been talking about? The brunette took note of how  _ heavy _ it was between them, but quickly pushed it off to the side, breaking eye contact with Komaeda.

“We should go check out some other stuff,” Hinata began, trying to gain his composure again. “There’s still a lot of things here…  _ and _ we might be able to find Souda and Gundham.” He groaned. “God knows what they’re doing. Always fucking off… mostly ‘cause of Souda.”

“Ah, are they a couple?” Komaeda questioned with a laugh, tilting his head.

“Yeah, for awhile now actually,” Hinata answered, observing his surroundings to try and collect himself. He needed a distraction. “Like, what… five months? Something like that.”

“That’s nice,” Komaeda chimed, smiling.

The brunette breathily laughed. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Well, anyway,” Komaeda continued after a pause between the pair. “Should we continue looking around…?”

“Yeah, definitely,” Hinata replied happily and the two boys quickly headed out into the crowd.

**——**

By the time Hinata and Komaeda grew tired and bored of walking around, the sun was setting. Soon enough they’d have to meet everyone else for the concert Mioda had begged so much to go to.

The pair had decided to relax under a tree (in one of the few places that actually had grass) next to a small cart selling ice cream and cold beverages. Of course, both boys had helped themselves despite the overpriced products. Hinata only got a smoothie while Komaeda bought simple bubble tea. Komaeda, being the selfless person he was, insisted to buy both products. Hinata tried to battle in return to pay, but the white haired boy beat him to it, giving the other a sly grin. The brunette had felt his face heat up a bit and just glared at the boy to try and cover up the reaction. The expressions Komaeda could make that got such strong reactions out of Hinata was alarmingly surprising.

Huh. He wondered what other expressions Komaeda could make.

_ Wow, okay, let’s slow down there. That is  _ not _ appropriate. Idiot. Stop it. _

“I really don’t know if I want to go to this concert Mioda-san is so excited about,” Hinata muttered before sipping at his drink.

“Understandable,” Komaeda replied thoughtfully. “However, she seemed very excited for it, so might as well join her to make her happy.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Hinata waved his hand dismissively. “I’m just not one for metal music or whatever.”

“What music do you like then, Hinata-kun?” Komaeda questioned, looking over at the brunette.

“Hmm…” Hinata had never really thought of what genre of music he enjoyed most. He would really just listen to whatever was on the radio or what his friends were listening to.

“Uh, I guess I kinda like softer kinds of music? I don’t know,” Hinata droned. “I mean… anything with a decent, softer beat and a person with a nice voice is fine to me.”

“Mm,” Komaeda hummed, playing with the straw in his tea. “I agree. Softer music is a nice change of pace for me. Though, I tend to enjoy sadder songs.”

“Yeah,” Hinata smiled softly even though he felt a bit worried.

They both sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, the breeze soft and relaxing against their skin.

After awhile, Komaeda took a breath in like he was about to speak, but stopped himself. Hinata looked over to him, head tilted in curiosity.

“What’s up…?” Hinata questioned, sitting up fully to face the white haired boy.

He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again. The boy was hesitating immensely. The brunette had never really seen the other boy like this. There was nervousness and anxiety washing over his grey eyes, his jaw clenched shut, lips pursed.

“Hey, Komaeda,” Hinata moved closer to him, lightly touching his arm. “What’s wrong? Are you okay…?”

“I’m just fine, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda answered, messing with the hem of his shirt. “I just have… something to tell you.”

Hinata swallowed and butterflies filled his stomach. “Wh-what is it?”

“I’ve been hiding from you for far too long,” Komaeda murmured, looking down at the ground. “I haven’t been completely honest. I haven’t been open with you.”

Hinata waited patiently for the boy to continue.

“Hinata-kun,” Komaeda finally made eye contact with the brunette and Hinata’s heart stuttered at the look in his eyes. “I’m in love… with…” Komaeda quickly looked away. “...You. I’m in love with you, Hinata-kun. I have been for a long time. I just… I couldn’t say anything because I feared you would leave me. But now…” Komaeda quickly rubbed at his eyes. Oh my God, he was crying. “Now I’ve come to terms with the fact that I can’t keep you without you knowing the truth. It’s not fair for you. If you must leave me because of my confession… I understand. I’m useless, afterall. My emotions get in the way and I can’t control them well. I’m truly a monster, and you know that. This is but only fuel to the fire of hatred, but I’m okay with that.” He paused. “You can leave, Hinata-kun, there’s no use in listening to me. I’m only a burden to—“

“Me too.”

Hinata couldn’t stop the words from escaping his lips, but he wasn't sure if he even wanted to keep silent. This, right here… was his chance. And  _ God, _ if he didn’t take it he’d never forgive himself.

Komaeda looked to Hinata, pure shock painting his expression. “Y-you…”

“I really, really like you, Komaeda…” he hesitantly reached out and gently took hold of the other boys pale hand. His skin was so soft. “I… have for awhile too. I don’t know what being in love feels like, so I don’t know if I am, but…” He met the boys eyes, which were glassy and sparkling with tears. “I know I have feelings for you. And I’m not mistaken, I  _ know _ I do. I… was oblivious for the longest time, it’s ridiculous.” He laughed lightly. “But I realized why I felt this way towards you and I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you, if I even could. So… for you to confess, right now…” Hinata smiled, laughing, feeling only true happiness and that warm, warm feeling in his chest. He slid his other hand to Komaeda’s jawline, cradling his cheek. “It’s truly unbelievable.  _ Thank you. _ ”

“D-does this mean…” Komaeda seemed completely hypnotized by Hinata, eyes dazed. “You’re… willing to go…”

“To go out with you?” Hinata smiled warmly. “Of course.”

Komaeda sat there, staring at the brunette in utter shock. Seconds later, he broke out into a smile, breathily laughing, muttering about luck and hope and a few compliments towards Hinata. He rested his head on the brunettes shoulder and slowly wrapped his arms around him, Hinata quickly returning the embrace.

Hinata is  _ super _ happy he decided to join everyone to this amusement park as he laced his fingers with Komaeda’s, running the other hand slowly through those white, soft locks. And as much as he hated to say it…  _ thank you, Souda. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UwU


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> soudas a sadist (ft. a big ass back fire)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i spent tuesday and wednesday with my boyfriend and forgot this fic existed im sorry lajdjskfksjfdkgk

Soon enough, it was even darker, and Hinata and Komaeda should’ve already met everyone at the plaza by now. But yet, here they are, walking calmly within the slowly dissipating crowd, shoulders barely apart from each other, fingers twining and untwining, lacing together and tracing skin.

Once they had actually reached the plaza and spotted the group, where the music had already started up, they still remained in a comfortable, butterfly-inducing silence. Soon enough, Nanami and a few others spotted them.

“Ah! You’re here!” The pastel haired girl jogged over to them, gripping her backpack straps. “Is everything okay?”

“Heh, well…” Hinata looked off to the side, his fingers freezing from their slow massage of Komaeda’s palm. “A  _ certain someone  _ abandoned us in the middle of the park, and we got caught up in the crowd.”

“Hey!” Souda shouted over to the pair. “Don’t label me as a ‘certain someone’! I gotta name!”

“Alright, well, then  _ Souda _ abandoned Komaeda and I in the middle of the park and dragged Gundham off with him,” Hinata continued after shooting the pink haired mechanic a glare. Then he shrugged nonchalantly. “Who knows what they were doing.”

Souda stuttered, looking offended, embarrassed and flustered all at the same time. Gundham, who stood next to him, simply coughed into his fist and covered his face with the neck of his shirt. “H-hey! Don’t make assumptions, asshole!”

“It’s what you get for making assumptions as well!” Hinata shouted back. Souda simply flipped him off.

“I see you two get along well,” Komaeda giggled, smile crinkling the corners of his eyes adorably.

“Yeah, yeah,” Hinata waved his hand dismissively, keeping his mind  _ not _ focused on the fact Komaeda had laced their pinkies together. “We’re best friends, there’s no heat behind anything that seems like an argument.”

“It’s normal, Komaeda-kun,” Nanami smiled playfully. “Now, come on, Mioda-san has been whining about you guys not being here.”

“Aha,” Komaeda breathed as the trio made their way back over to the rest of the group. “She actually noticed trash like me—?”

“ _ Komaeda, _ ” Hinata elbowed the other boy in the ribs. “Of course she did. Mioda-san is oddly observant. And you’re not trash, shut up about that.”

Komaeda simply smiled, looking away. “The fact that you even spare your breath to comfort me—“

“ _ Oh my god, _ ” Hinata murmured as he stopped walking, harshly grabbing the white haired boys hand. “Stop it. Stop putting yourself down. You’re a good person, Ko—“ Hinata poked said boy in the chest firmly. “—I hate seeing you constantly putting yourself below everyone.” Hinata looked around, making sure no one was nearby. Nanami was dragged off by Sonia, who was talking excitedly about something. The brunette gulped before leaning in closer to Komaeda, hearing the others breath stiffen. “I care about you… a lot. It really hurts to hear you say those things.” Hinata leaned back again, still close however, and gently held Komaeda’s other hand. “Please. Let’s stay away from those comments for the night, alright?” He smiled. “It’d make me really happy.”

Komaeda looked hypnotized by the brunette, mouth hanging open slightly, eyes dazed in… fascination? Hinata couldn’t tell. Then the white haired boy looked down, squeezing both of the hands that held his own.

“Okay,” He whispered. “Okay… I promise.”

“Thank you.” Hinata gently stroked Komaedas arm, running his fingertips over the soft fabric of the sleeved shirt. “C’mon. Let’s enjoy things for a bit longer. It’ll be nice.”

Komaeda looked up to the other boy, a lovestruck look in his eyes with a soft smile, and he nodded.

**——**

**Souda**

**10:03 pm**

did u guys kiss?????????

  
  


Hinata groaned loudly, burying his face in his hands as he lied in bed. God, this shit again.

After the small show had ended, everyone went their separate ways to their own homes. Hinata  _ finally _ convinced Komaeda to let him walk the other home, and they spent the entire time giggling softly as they held hands, chatting in quiet voices.

But of course, Souda just  _ had _ to say something. Just  _ had _ to. It’s in his blood.

  
  


**Hinata**

**10:04 pm**

Does it matter???

  
  


**Souda**

**10:04 pm**

uH YEAH. YEAH IT DOES

  
  


**Souda**

**10:05 pm**

DID U KISS?????????????????

  
  


**Hinata**

**10:05 pm**

NO!!!!

  
  


**Souda**

**10:06 pm**

c o w a r d

  
  


**Souda**

**10:06 pm**

weLL if u guys didnt kiss then wtf happened???? u were particularly hanging off each others shoulders and giggling like schoolgirls :/

  
  


_ Now or never, Hinata. _

The brunette took a deep breath, preparing himself for the declaration of victory from the other boy.

  
  


**Hinata**

**10:08 pm**

We confessed. That’s it. Feelings are mutual. We’re going out later on.

  
  


**Souda**

**10:08 pm**

FUCKKKKK YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  
  


**Souda**

**10:09 pm**

WHO WAS RIGHT??????? I WAS RIGHT!!!!!!!

  
  


**Souda**

**10:09 pm**

FUCK U AND UR EXTREME DENSENESS I WAS RIIIGGGHHHTTTTTT

  
  


**Hinata**

**10:10 pm**

I get it, I get it!!!!!! You were right, whatever…

  
  


**Souda**

**10:10 pm**

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA HELL YEAH I WAS RIGHT

  
  


**Souda**

**10:11 pm**

wow i love being right this is great i gotta be right more often

  
  


**Hinata**

**10:11 pm**

I don’t think that’ll happen again, Souda.

  
  


**Souda**

**10:11 pm**

G A S P

  
  


**Souda**

**10:11 pm**

:’(

  
  


**Souda**

**10:12 pm**

how rude hinata hajime

  
  


**Souda**

**10:12 pm**

i cant believe ur attitude tsk tsk

  
  


**Souda**

**10:13 pm**

if anything u should be t h a n k i n g me UwU

  
  


**Hinata**

**10:13 pm**

Never, and I cannot stress this enough, EVER type that fucking face again.

  
  


**Souda**

**10:14 pm**

oh??

  
  


**Souda**

**10:14 pm**

wut this: UwU

  
  


**Hinata**

**10:15 pm**

Stop it. Please. Jesus christ, please stop.

  
  


**Souda**

**10:15 pm**

UWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWU

  
  


**Hinata**

**10:16 pm**

You just guaranteed your death.

  
  


**Souda**

**10:16 pm**

:’( i thought we were friends hinata UnU

  
  


**Souda**

**10:17 pm**

ANYWAY smths been botherin me for awhile now

  
  


**Souda**

**10:17 pm**

wut happened to ur major crush on the ultimate hope????????? like,,, u were OBSESSED with them for the longest time and now its just

  
  


**Souda**

**10:18 pm**

BOOM never happened

  
  


How was Hinata supposed to lie himself out of this one?

  
  


**Hinata**

**10:19 pm**

Okay, number one: I never had a crush on them. Number two: I guess I just lost interest? Sometimes you lose interest in things, it’s not a big deal.

  
  


The brunette went on to cross his fingers that his message was convincing enough.  _ Thank God _ the conversation wasn’t in person, if it was, it’d be beyond obvious he was lying at the hotness in his cheeks and the definite stutter that would escape his throat.

  
  


**Souda**

**10:20 pm**

:/

  
  


**Souda**

**10:20 pm**

i was hoping for a more horrible excuse but ig thats valid

  
  


**Souda**

**10:21 pm**

i will spare u tonight cuz im feeling nice :)

  
  


Hinata had never felt so relieved, sighing heavily. He didn’t even realize he was holding his breath.

  
  


**Hinata**

**10:21 pm**

I’d prefer if you’d just fully believe me, but that’s fine too, lol.

  
  


**Souda**

**10:22 pm**

yeah yeah whatever

  
  


Now it was Hinata’s turn to ruin Souda’s night.

  
  


**Hinata**

**10:23 pm**

Hey, by the way… what was the “very important thing” you had to “excuse” yourself and Gudham at the park…? I’m curious. It seemed very pressing.

  
  


**Souda**

**10:23 pm**

HEY THATS NONE OF UR FUCKIN BUSINESS

  
  


**Hinata**

**10:24 pm**

Actually, it is, since it caused me and Komaeda to get lost. It was very rude, Souda. :(

  
  


**Souda**

**10:24 pm**

STOP FUCKIN WITH ME HINATA

  
  


**Souda**

**10:25 pm**

UR JUST TRYING TO MESS WITH ME HUH ISNT THAT RIGHT???????

  
  


**Souda**

**10:25 pm**

TRYNA GET BACK AT ME??????

  
  


**Hinata**

**10:26 pm**

:)

  
  


**Souda**

**10:26 pm**

DONT GIVE ME THAT “:)” SHIT HINATA HAJIME U ASSHOLE

  
  


**Souda**

**10:27 pm**

SO WHAT IF I RAN OFF WITH GUNDHAM ITS NOT SMTH U GOTTA WORRY BOUT

  
  


**Souda**

**10:27 pm**

HES MY FUCKIN BOYFRIEND WHAT DO U EXPECT

  
  


There was a pause in messages, and Hinata couldn’t do anything but grin. There it was. The confession.

  
  


**Souda**

**10:28 pm**

FUCK

  
  


**Souda**

**10:28 pm**

UR PLAYING FUCKING MIND GAMES WITH ME HINATA FUCK U

  
  


**Hinata**

**10:29 pm**

I just asked a question, Souda. You just answered. I appreciate your honesty. :)

  
  


**Souda**

**10:30 pm**

UGHHHHH U LIL SHIT

  
  


**Hinata**

**10:30 pm**

So, you admit it? You were doing stuff that wasn’t exactly appropriate for a public environment? You know, there were a lot of children there. :( I’m disappointed in you, Souda.

  
  


**Souda**

**10:31 pm**

THATS IT

  
  


**Souda**

**10:31 pm**

IM DONE

  
  


**Souda**

**10:32 pm**

GOOD NIGHT BITCH

  
  


Ah, yes. A satisfying end to the brunettes night.

He slept peacefully that night.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> souda and gundham fucked at the theme park if you didnt pick up on that yet


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a nice n cute date goes a bit south
> 
> WARNING!!!!!!!! TALK OF SELF HARM!!!!!!!!!! IF THIS IS A MAJOR TRIGGER FOR YOU I HIGHLY RECOMMEND SKIPPING THIS CHAPTER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in a row wholly becuz of my forgetful aSS

“Are you sure, Hinata-kun?” Komaeda asked, tugging at the brunettes grey hoodie. “You deserve better, Hinata-kun. I can afford better. It’s just fine. I’m willing to spend more on you.”

“ _ Komaeda, _ ” Hinata turned around from walking towards the shopping mall, smiling as he grabbed the others wrist, tugging him towards himself a bit. He was happy to hear that Komaeda cared about him enough to give up loads of money _ just _ for a date, but he just didn’t see it as necessary. “It’s fine. I like this a lot! I don’t need anything fancy or expensive. ‘Just wanted to be with you. That’s the base of a date, Ko.” He paused, quickly deciding a  _ bit _ of teasing didn’t hurt. “Unless you’re proposing to me. Then be my guest to buy me something expensive.”

Komaeda’s face exploded in color, and he self consciously looked off to the side, fidgeting with his fingers. “I-I’m not—!”

“I know you’re not,” Hinata chuckled, intertwining his fingers with the others hand. The white haired boys skin was always cool to the touch. “‘Just messing with you.”

They chatted back and forth a bit as the pair made their way into the shopping center, stores lining the halls. It wasn’t too busy, just enough people for it not to feel deserted.

Earlier on, Komaeda had been insisting on taking Hinata to a formal diner, or getting him something really nice, or really anything much too expensive for Hinata that he wouldn’t be able to afford it even with three paychecks. Hinata, on the other hand, was much more comfortable with simply spending time with the other boy. Honestly, he’d be more stressed if anything more complex or expensive than just stopping by a mall was planned.

Komaeda still seemed to be doubting Hinata’s words, watching his feet as they both walked past shops.

“Komaeda,” Hinata called, trying to get the others attention. He was  _ completely  _ comfortable with simple dates; Extravagant, complicated events were much too stressful for the brunette. He couldn’t handle those things very easily. Plus, he’d feel guilty because of the price. “ _ Komaeda. _ ”

The other finally looked up as if he had been roughly tugged out of a daydream. His grey eyes immediately looked sorry.

“Hey, it's fine,” Hinata squeezed the others hand. “You did nothing wrong. I don’t want anything more than to spend time with you. You don’t have to spoil me with money or nice things, Ko. I’m not here to spend time with your cash.” Hinata tilted his head, smiling softly at the other boy. “I only said yes to this date  _ because _ it’s you. I’m not gonna go on a date with just  _ anyone _ because they have money. That’s just shallow.”

“I’m not accusing you of being shallow, Hinata-kun!” Komaeda quickly replied, sounding a bit panicked. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t—“

“I didn’t say that,” The brunette cut him off as he stopped walking and pulled the boy off to the side of the aisle, letting other people pass. “I understand you’re anxious, I am too. I’ve never really been on a date before. But…” Hinata sighed, squeezing the others hand again. “But I feel everything’ll be alright. Just a feeling.”

Komaeda continued to look at the ground, biting his lip much too hard. Hinata was pretty sure it would bleed at this point.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” Hinata replied, rubbing circles into the others hand. “What do you want to do? Just wander around? I know there’s a food court here and an arcade.” The brunette smiled softly at him, tilting his head.

Komaeda finally looked up to make eye contact. There was a bit of blood on his lip and Hinata felt a pang in his chest. “Anything you’d like to do.”

“Ko, you have a say in what to do as well.”

“But I don’t know what to do.”

“I don’t either.”

For a moment, the pair simply just stood there, looking at each other before they broke out into a giggling fit.

Ah, yes. A great combination. Two indecisive people have to make a decision.

“Okay, okay, um…” Hinata breathed, still laughing a bit as he looked around. “It’s a bit after noon, so… maybe we could get something to eat quick?”

“I’m just fine with that,” Komaeda said, recovering from laughing as well. “I can pay.”

“ _ No, _ ” Hinata scolded the other boy and they began walking, making their way to an escalation to land on the lower level where the food court was. “ _ I _ am paying, you’ve paid enough. Seriously.”

“I have money to spare, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda insisted. “It’s really no problem at all.”

“Well, too bad, I’m paying.”

“No, you’re not. I won’t let you waste your money. You work on a regular basis, I do not—“

“Lalala, nope, nope,” Hinata shook his head, looking away as if he couldn’t hear Komaeda’s protests at all. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Only thing that matters is I can afford it. The shit here is literally, like, 500 yen.”

The pair continued to banter back and forth before they finally agreed to pay for each others orders. Hinata ordered simple kusamochi from a small shop, but Komaeda insisted he wasn’t hungry, only taking a small bottle of water. Hinata basically just force fed him some of his own food, lecturing him a bit about eating at least  _ something _ on a regular basis.

Afterwards, the pair wandered back up to the second floor, chatting, and wandered around some more, passing clothing stores, coffee shops, and simple stands with different kinds of products.

“Hinata-kun,” Komaeda pulled the other boy towards a clothing store's entrance. “Please let me get you something. I  _ want _ to get you something. Anything you’d like, Hinata-kun!”

“Ah, K-Ko, that’s really not necessary,” Hinata’s face warmed a bit at the others enthusiasm. “Seriously, you don’t have to.”

“But I want to!”

“Komaeda… r-really…”

“Hinata-ku~n…!”

“...F-fine. I guess it wouldn’t hurt…”

Komaeda smiled cheerfully and pulled the other into the store. The pair wandered the different sections of the store, from jeans and T-shirts to more formal wear. They chatted and laughed about random things, Hinata telling the other boy about the time Souda, in his sophomore year of highschool, had a massive crush on Sonia and went out of his way to impress her. And then she told him she was a lesbian. Komaeda reminisced on a dog he had as a child, and Hinata listened intently the entire time as the two hovered through the shelves of clothing.

They got so lost in conversation they didn’t grab any clothing to actually buy. Hinata had only briefly held up a couple T-shirts and sleeveless shirts to Komaeda, commenting he’d look really nice in them. Komaeda had blushed a bright pink and declined, fidgeting with his fingers and the hem of his sweatshirt. He was a bit  _ too _ silent afterward, but the brunette simply started up another conversation to distract the pale boy.

“Hinata-kun,” Komaeda gently touched his arm to get his attention. “You should really pick something out.”

“Ah, Ko,” Hinata chuckled awkwardly. “I, uh, don’t really know what I want, if anything, that is.”

“There must be something that caught your eye,” Komaeda smiled, grabbing the other boys arm gently.

Hinata sighed, giving in and confessing. “Well… there was a shirt I saw that I liked. But I can pay for it, it’s fine.”

“No,” Komaeda shook his head. “I offered, I dragged you in here, I’ll pay.”

“Ko—“

“Hush,” The white haired boy placed a finger to Hinata’s lips briefly. “I want to get you something it’s just fine.”

“W-well, then I’m getting you something too,” Hinata replied in a determined tone. “I saw you eyeing a necklace.”

Komaeda obviously remembered, eyes widening. “No, Hinata-kun, really. You mustn’t waste your money on something so useless.”

“It’s not wasting, Komaeda,” Hinata scolded the other boy. “Just like you said: you wanna buy me something. So, I’ll return the favor.”

Komaeda opened his mouth to protest, but visibly gave up, shoulders slumping and lip out in a pout.

“Oh, stop it, it’s fine,” Hinata smiled, rolling his eyes playfully.

Hinata lead the other boy back over to where the necklace had been. The necklace was quite simple: a black string tied in a slipknot at the back for adjustment, leading down to a pale blue crystal, wrapped in silver wire to hold. It was cheap enough, only some 1650 yen. Hinata slipped it off the stand with other inexpensive jewelry, holding it out to Komaeda after adjusting the length so he could slip it on.

“Try it!” Hinata exclaimed, smiling softly.

Komaeda hesitantly took the piece of jewelry and slipped it on. The sting briefly caught on his white locks of hair, and the pair laughed lightly. Hinata leaned over to help, but Komaeda insisted he could undo it himself. Hinata simply shrugged, still smiling and leaning against the wall they stood by.

Of course, it didn’t take long for the pale boy to free his hair from the necklaces knot, but something caught Hinata’s eye when the others sleeves slipped down a bit as he adjusted his arms to get a better angle on the string.

Hinata’s face paled and his stomach sunk like an anchor to the seafloor. His heart probably stopped for a moment.

Scars. Scars covering almost every inch of Komaeda’s wrists. The skin was puffed out and a different shade from the rest of his skin. A few cuts, further back on his arm, were scabbed. They were almost like tiger stripes covering the soft, pale skin Hinata had grown to love. Of course, Hinata  _ knew _ Komaeda had scars. Fuck, he was a  _ serial killer _ dealing with  _ dangerous people _ on a regular basis. There were two healing ones on his face and slightly visible ones near his neck. When he wore shorts, you could see the few, long scars marking his calves and knees. But these weren’t scars collected from fighting others and defending himself. Those were scars made by Komaeda himself  _ on purpose. _

Those were self harm scars.

Hinata quickly snapped out of his panicked gaze and put on a (probably not very convincing) smile when Komaeda asked if it looked bad.

“I-it looks fine, Ko,” The brunette said warmly, gently taking the crystal between his fingers, examining it. “Honestly, it compliments your eyes.”

Komaeda immediately groaned in embarrassment, covering his face and murmured a frustrated “Ahhh, Hinata-kun!” to which Hinata only laughed breathily at.

The pair continued on, Hinata showing the other the shirt he liked before they both went on to pay for each others chosen products. They exited the store, Komaeda rambling about how he didn’t deserve the brunettes generosity.

Hinata tried his very, very best to stay calm and act like he didn’t see anything.

He was definitely going to spend more time with Komaeda in private after this. He needed to say something.

**——**

“Let me help, Hinata-kun.”

“No, don’t worry!” Hinata laughed, nudging Komaeda away from the stove as he stir fried some vegetables. “I got this!”

The other boy groaned. “I feel guilty for not helping,” he whined, resting his head on the brunettes shoulder.

Hinata only smiled softly, leaning his head against the soft curls tickling his cheek. “My treat, Ko, it’s fine. Just sit down and relax for a bit. This’ll probably be done in, like… five minutes or so.”

Komaeda begrudgingly agreed finally, and sat down quietly at the table, waiting patiently.

When the food was finally ready, Hinata carefully served it onto two plates, grabbing a couple pairs of chopsticks. He set each plate down with the chopsticks and sat down at the table. The brunette quickly noticed Komaeda was tapping away at his phone.

“What’s up?” He asked curiously.

“Ah,” Komaeda perked up, smiled, a sparkle in his eyes. “Sonia-san has been very kind to me. We have discovered we have common interests and have been talking more often!”

“That’s great, Komaeda!” Hinata beamed, proud that Komaeda was slowly growing closer to new people. “I assume it’s more, like—“ He waved his chopsticks in the air a bit, not able to find the right word. “—I guess ‘darker’ topics, to put it simply?”

Komaeda giggled, setting down his phone, and picking up a pepper with his chopsticks. “Yes, you could put it like that.”

“Sorry, couldn’t think of the right word,” Hinata apologized sheepishly.

“There’s no reason to be sorry, Hinata-kun!” Komaeda answered, tilting his head.

Hinata simply chuckled at the others correction, and the pair continued on with light conversation as they ate.

Hinata’s mind slowly drifted back to what he saw at the mall as he and the other boy finished up their meal, and his mood dropped quickly. He really did need to talk with Komaeda. He couldn’t just… leave this alone. This was a serious topic, and… Hinata was  _ scared. _ He was scared of how far and deep this truly went. Self harm was simply a symptom of another problem. A much more serious problem.

Usually a life threatening problem.

Of course Hinata needed to find the right time to bring such a topic up. Bringing it up in the middle of a lighthearted chat was  _ not _ ideal, despite the brunette wanting to address this as soon as he could.

He needed to wait. He needed to be patient.

The pair cleaned up dinner together, a comfortable silence between them as water ran and dishes were carefully placed in the dishwasher. Leftovers were placed in a small container and stashed in the fridge for later. After that, the couple simply sat down on the couch, leaning against the other, both relaxing. Hinata scrolled through his social media feed mindlessly as Komaeda continued to have quite the interesting conversation with Sonia.

Soon, Komaeda yawned and sat up a bit, rubbing his eyes with his sweatshirt sleeves.

“I should probably get going,” The white haired boy announced, standing up slowly. “I don’t want to burden you any longer, haha.”

“K-Ko, you’re not a burden,” Hinata scolded him, but then looked to the blanket over his lap. “And I, uh… I was actually going to ask if you wanted to stay the night?” He paused and panicked a bit. “Shit, I-I mean! O-only if you want to and are comfortable with it!”

Hinata looked back up to Komaeda, expecting to see pure confusion on the others face. Instead, he was met with wide grey eyes and blossom-pink cheeks. The pale boy dropped his gaze, shoulders growing tense. He fidgeted with his thumbs a lot more than usual, holding his hands close to his chest.

“...Really?” Komaeda voice came out weak and shy, eyes avoiding Hinata at all costs.

“Yeah,” Hinata smiled gently, getting more self conscious and overly aware of Komaeda’s movements every passing second.

“I…” A small smile graced the other boys lips. “I’d love to, actually.”

A huge chunk of weight was lifted from Hinata’s shoulders, and he sighed in relief.

Sure, Komaeda had stayed the night before but… it was different now. They both knew they had romantic feelings towards each other. Before, it wasn’t like that. Before, it was just—well, as blunt as it is to say it like this—a serial killer staying at a normal, passerbyers house. The first time was for safety, the second was just because. But… now…

“I can sleep on the couch, if you’d like,” Komaeda said, interrupting Hinata’s thoughts. “The last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable—“

“No, Komaeda,” Hinata reached out slowly, gently taking the others hand, lacing their fingers together. It was almost like their hands were solely made to hold the others with how well they fit together. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. The couch isn’t exactly a nice place to sleep.”

The was a beat of silence.

“Are you…” Komaeda fidgeted with the end of his sleeve with his free hand. “Proposing that it’s alright if I—“

“Yeah,” Hinata cut him off. It was obvious what he was going to say. There were only two places to sleep in the brunettes apartment. If you eliminate the couch, it’s obvious what the remaining option is. “You can sleep in my room. It’s fine.”

“H-Hinata-kun,” Komaeda shifted his weight back and forth. “I really don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Sleeping… in the same bed…”

“Is not a problem,” The brunette finished, standing up. “Really, it's not a big deal. I’ve had friends over, they’ve slept in the same room, same bed. It’s not anything new. No big deal.”

“But…” Komaeda furrowed his eyebrows. He really did look genuinely concerned. “I don’t want you to think I…” He paused, looking ashamed. “I don’t want you to think I’ll take advantage of you.”

“I know you won’t, Ko,” Hinata chuckled quietly, blushing lightly at Komaeda’s concern. “I’ve trusted people my entire life—“

“But none of them have been a killer.”

Well… point taken.

“I  _ know _ you won’t hurt me,” Hinata tilted his head, trying to catch the others eye. “I definitely know you won't  _ kill _ me. I stopped thinking and worrying about that a  _ long _ time ago, Ko. And you taking advantage of me in any other context… that’s just not you. I know you would never do that.”

Komaeda remained silent, biting his lip over and over again. He was peeling bits of skin off. Bad habit, huh?

Hinata would figure something out to help stop that.

“...Okay,” The pale boy murmured, a soft smile on his lips. “Yeah… y-yeah, okay.”

“Then let’s get comfortable. I’m sure I have some extra clothes for you.”

The pair wandered into the bedroom and closed the door. Hinata rummaged around his dressers drawers for a moment as the other boy simply sat down on the bed. He pulled out some comfortable clothing for Komaeda, turning around and handing it to the other boy.

“Here,” the brunette gave him the loose T-shirt and simple sweatpants. “Will these be okay?”

Komaeda opened his mouth, but then closed it, spotting that the shirt had short sleeves.

Oh shit, yeah, that’s a thing.

“Um,” Komaeda hesitated, shifting a bit. “I get cold easily. Do you, u-um… have anything with sleeves…?”

Should he say it? Tell him he knows he’s lying? Like, even if Hinata didn’t know, with the way Komaeda was stuttering, it would be obvious he was hiding something. Shit, what should he do? Was it appropriate right now? Well, they were alone and safe, right? Of course, Komaeda would panic and such, anyone would with such a serious thing coming to light. But was it okay right now?

Hinata closed his eyes, taking a breath. Now or never. He was doubting this too much.

“Komaeda,” Hinata looked him in the eye and the other visibly paled. “I know.” He paused, glancing to Komaeda’s wrists. “I saw. At the mall. Your sleeves slipped down and… I-I know.”

Everything was silent. The brunette didn’t know how long they just stared at each other, but it felt like forever.

Tears spilled over onto pale cheeks and a sob filled the tense air. “I-I’m sorry.”

“No,” Hinata sat down next to Komaeda and pulled him into a hug. “No, no, no, no… don’t be sorry. It’s okay. I’m here for you, okay?”

“I-I know it’s b-bad,” the body in the brunettes arms shook with each sob and his heart shattered into millions of pieces. “But it’s… s-so hard… it’s so h-hard, Hinata-kun. I c-can’t…”

“Hey, it’s okay…” the brunette ran one hand through the white strands of hair, burying his nose into it and closing his eyes. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

“It’s too much, H-Hinata-kun…” The white haired boy cried, gripping tightly on the brunettes arm like if he let go, Hinata would fade away. “It’s too much… t-too much…” He paused to let out a shaky breath, sniffing. “Hurting… p-pain is grounding. I-I can’t… drift off without it. Sometimes… th-they have to be d-deeper.” A sob, Komaeda leaning closer to the warm body holding him. “They have to. I can’t go away w-when… it hurts.” A pause. “It’s… it hurts a bit right n-now. The… the sc-scabs. Marks.”

“When did you last…”Hinata bit his lip, trying to find a less triggering word. “Hurt…?”

Silence.

“T-two days ago.”

“God, Komaeda…” Hinata melted deeper into the trembling boy next to him, holding him tight. His chest ached. His head hurt. He didn’t want to let go. “Please… I’ll do anything… I-I’ll… I’ll help you through it. We can both find better ways. Better things to cope with instead of pain. Th-there’s better ways, Ko.”

“I-I know, it’s just…” He sighed shakily. “I-I don’t know.”

“It’s okay,” Hinata replied calmly, despite his own tears collecting in his eyes. “I just wish you told me sooner. I’m here to help you, Komaeda. I-I’m here to care for you.”

A pause. Then a quiet sob.

“Th-thank you,” Komaeda answered shakily. “Thank you, Hinata-kun. Nobody h-has… cared for me in a long time.”

“No need to thank me, Ko,” Hinata smiled softly, a few tears finally spilling. “A-and… if you don’t want to elaborate on anything, th-that’s okay—“

“N-no, I…” Komaeda sniffled, taking a deep breath. “I want to. I-I’ve been hiding from you w-when I shouldn’t have. Y-you… you’ve been here for m-me for so long, and I still truly haven’t opened up to you.” A pause. “I’ll tell you. I… I trust you. I trust you with every part of my being, Hinata-kun. I truly am in love with you.”

The brunettes heart fluttered and he could only whine flusteredly, and then go on to bury his face into Komaeda hair until he could barely breathe. Komaeda laughed quietly, leaning into Hinata some more.

“Well, where should I start, Hinata-kun…?”

“From the beginning.”

“Mm… this will be long then.”

“I don’t care. I like hearing you talk, and I want to know more about you.”

Komaeda immediately was flustered, blushing pink.

Hinata listened carefully as Komaeda talked softly, going from the death of his dog to the loss of his family to his own kidnapping and trauma from said event. Hinata soaked in every detail, every word, simply listening, quiet and calm. He only supplied his own input when Komaeda paused for a long moment, comforting him and going on about how everything was fine and there was nothing wrong with the piles and piles of mental scars and trauma as he lived. Who knows how long they sat there simply holding each other, listening to every word of the other.

And before they realized it, it was 2 am.

The pair quickly changed into the comfortable clothes they had laid out before (Komaeda had dropped his on the floor), preparing for bed. Hinata couldn’t help himself but watch as Komaeda tugged off his sweatshirt, his pale skin like that of porcelain, the scars marking that very skin were beautiful flaws. He’d looked away, ashamed for invading on the others privacy, but felt a bit better when he caught Komaeda doing the same.

The pair laid down soon enough on the opposite sides of the bed, backs facing each other, and pulled the covers over their exhausted bodies.

But neither fell asleep.

Hinata sighed heavily and flipped over, expecting to see Komaeda’s back to him.

Instead, emerald green met misty grey.

“A-ah!” Komaeda quickly sat up, his face quickly turning a deep red. “I’m terribly sorry! I can just—“

“Hey,” Hinata smiled shyly, reaching out and gently touching the other boys arm. “It’s fine. Lay back down.”

The white haired boy visibly hesitated, looking quite worried and self conscious. But soon enough, he gave in and laid back down, facing the brunette. He was originally looking away from the other, trying not to make eye contact, but when Hinata boldly moved a bit closer (don’t think he was confident, his heart felt like it was going to explode), he finally met the others eyes. The brunettes eyes were heavy with sleep, but he forced himself to remain awake just a bit longer. Komaeda, once again, looked completely hypnotized by the other boy (Hinata never minded that).

Hinata slowly reached over the small space between the pair and gently took hold of Komaeda’s wrist. The scars were soft and textured under his fingertips as he pulled the others wrist close and softly kissed the skin in front of him. He continued on to do this a few more times before he slowly passed out. He really couldn’t stay awake any longer.

Just before sleep completely enveloped the brunette, he felt two hands slowly caress his cheeks as a body moved closer. Soft hair tickled his face as a forehead pressed to his own.

The last words he heard were a simple “I love you”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it gets even better next chapter yall will like it
> 
> i think
> 
> well i HOPe


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> h a

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY HAD A FAMILY DAY YESTERDAY LAJDLSFKDJFKV

_ Gentle hands caressed Hinata’s skin, running up his bare chest, feather-light, grey eyes never leaving his own. Those very slender fingers tangle into his hair, the paler body moving closer on top of him, legs tangling together. _

_ Hinata sighed happily, arms wrapped around the boys nape, hands gripping his hair like it would be the last thing he’d ever touch. _

_ Their every breath felt shared. It was like they shared each others lungs. They depended on the other to live. They needed the other to survive. _

_ Two halves of one whole. _

_ “I love you.” A smooth voice whispered into the brunettes ear, breath ghosting against his skin. He shivered. _

_ “I love you, too.” He answered, pressing his forehead to the others temple lovingly, closing his heavy eyelids. _

_ Fingers gently held his chin and the other leaned but a few inches away. _

_ Only to lean back in, fluttering his eyes closed, lips parted just slightly, tilting his head. _

_ Hinata followed suit, cupping the others nape and leaning forward as well; Closer, closer, closer… _

  
  


_ — _

  
  


He woke up.

Thankfully not alone, though, if the arms wrapped around his body and chest pressed to his back were any indication of said statement.

Hinata blinked a few times, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he yawned. Without moving, the brunette glanced to his alarm clock.

11 o’clock.

Eh, whatever. He was too comfortable. Komaeda’s arms wrapped protectively but  _ so _ gently around his frame, The soft hair tickling his nape, the white haired boys face buried into his shoulder, the boys legs tangled with his own.

Hinata huddled deeper into the blankets covering their bodies, letting out a relaxed breath. Content, he closed his eyes again, not minding to just lay there for a while longer. The brunette then inched his hand up and ran his fingertips along the soft skin, running down until he found the gentle hands holding him tightly. He laced his fingers through the other boys own, squeezing his hand. He brought it up to his shoulder, gently pecking his lips on the back of the hand he held.

Hinata wasn’t sure how long he lied there, all he knew was that, soon enough, the boy holding him began to stir.

Legs untangled from his own and the arms around him pulled away. Hinata protested with a whine, chasing after them by grabbing at his wrists. He got ahold of the one he had been holding and tugged the other boy back down on the bed, who had begun to sit up. A tired laugh sounded from behind the brunette.

“You’re needy,” Komaeda murmured, voice husky from sleep.

Hinata only hummed in disapproval, turning over to look at the other. He marveled at how pretty Komaeda looked even after just waking up. Hair messy—but not much more than usual—and hanging in his face more, while the sun shone a pretty halo around his body. His eyes were heavy and half-lidded, a shamelessly loving look within those grey irises. A soft smile painted his lips, and the brunette had a strong impulse to just lean over and… just…

“Good morning, Hinata-kun,” The white haired boy purred, running his free hand along the others cheek. “Did you sleep well?”

“Mm… yeah,” Hinata sighed, leaning into Komaeda’s gentle touch. “What ‘bout you…?”

Komaeda looked away, pink blossoming on his cheeks. “I haven’t slept that peacefully in a long time.” He paused, looking back to Hinata with an embarrassed smile. “Thank you for letting me stay over, Hinata-kun.”

“Maybe you should sleep here more often then,” Hinata laughed, finally letting go of Komaeda’s hand and tilting his head, playing with the others hair. “I wouldn’t mind. You’re warm.”

Komaeda whined, burying his face into the pillow he lied on, the tips of his ears red.

“I’m serious!” Hinata exclaimed, laughing some more as he sat up and looked down at the other boy, unable to stop smiling. “Spending more time with you would be nice.”

“You’ll regret this, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda sighed sadly, obviously faked. “I might just get too attached to you.”

“Oh, you’re not already…?” Hinata raised his eyebrows, cocking his head to the side.

“Oh no, no,” The white haired boy sat up, smirking teasingly at the other. “You’ll have to shake me off of your ankle by the time you’re done with me.”

“You…” Hinata wrinkled his nose, playfully leaning forward and messing up the other boys hair even more than how it was already. “I’ll have to drag you everywhere with me, huh?” He pushed the other playfully, earning a light hearted laugh from Komaeda.

“You’ll have to deal with me for the rest of your life.”

“That wouldn’t be bad.”

“It would if I don’t  _ ever _ leave your side.”

“Oh, like a stalker?”

“Yes, a stalker. I’d be watching your every move.”

“Ooo, spooky. I’m terrified.”

The entire time they bantered back and forth, they were giggling and smiling, pure happiness and peacefulness filling the air. It was so light and sweet and calm… Hinata needed this more often.

If he could wake up to Komaeda everyday and have these little chats with him… well, the brunette might just be the happiest man in the world.

They grew silent soon enough, and just looked at each other, pure care and sweetness filling the room around them. Hinata moved closer to Komaeda and cupped his face, leaning forward and pressing their foreheads together.

“I really,  _ really _ like you, Komaeda,” Hinata whispered, moving one hand down to the others neck and running his thumb along his jawline over and over again. “You mean a lot to me.”

“...Do you mean that…?” Komaeda whispered in return, gently wrapping his fingers around the brunettes wrists, squeezing them a bit.

“Of course I do,” The brunette smiled, looking into misty, grey eyes. “Every bit. I care for you so much that it’s honestly a bit scary. I… I’ve never really trusted someone this much except for Nanami. You just… you feel so safe.”

Those very grey eyes sparkled a bit with tears, and Hinata cooed quietly and pulled the white haired boy into a hug, closing his eyes in content.

“You make me feel cared for and loved, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda whispered, gripping the others shirt. “It’s so unfamiliar, but  _ so _ wonderful. The pure ecstasy I feel around you is shocking… but addicting.” He paused, burying his cheek into the shoulder he rested his head on. “Your presence is addicting, Hinata-kun.  _ You _ are addicting.”

By this point, the brunettes face had gone completely red and his grip on the boys shirt was probably worryingly tight.

“I-I see…” Hinata murmured.

Komaeda immediately pulled back, opening his mouth most likely to apologize, but Hinata’s expression sunk in before any word could come out, and all he could do was smile.

“You really find that flattering, hm?” Komaeda purred, leaning into Hinata’s personal space.

“Sh-shut up,” Hinata growled, looking away bashfully. “‘M fine.”

“Oh? So then is it a fever?”

“I’m not sick!”

“Then you  _ do  _ find my words flattering.”

“I said shut up!”

Hinata grabbed a pillow and pressed it into Komaeda’s face, whose laugh was muffled by the fabric. Hinata quickly stood up and walked towards the door, swinging it open.

“I’ll get us something to eat.”

“Avoiding the topic, hm~?”

Hinata wished he had another pillow on hand. He would have thrown it at the other boy.

  
  


**———**

  
  


After a quick breakfast, the pair sat on the couch quietly. Hinata was playing with Komaeda’s hair, braiding it and undoing it, then braiding it again, and Komaeda simply sat back and relaxed, the TV dull background noise to the both of them.

“When did you learn that, Hinata-kun?”

“Learn what?”

“To braid.”

“Ah,” Hinata tilted his head a bit in thought. “I think I was around ten years old or so? Nanami taught me. She wanted me to be able to braid her hair when she was too tired to.”

“Sounds like something she’d ask of you,” Komaeda chuckled softly.

“She hasn’t changed much over the years,” Hinata smiled affectionately. “She’s only really gotten smarter and better at giving advice.”

“No taller.”

“Yeah,” Hinata laughed. “She never got  _ any _ taller.”

They fell into a comfortable silence, simply relaxing together.

Who knows how long they lied there before Hinata opened his mouth to speak.

“Hey, Ko.”

“Hm…?”

“...What are we…?”

A beat of silence.

“Whatever you wish for us to be.”

“But I don’t know how you feel about us… like…” Hinata sighed, letting go of Komaeda’s hair and resting his head on the other boys shoulder. “I don’t know… how far are we…? Does that make sense?”

“I think… I understand what you are referring to,” Komaeda hummed, speaking slowly, resting his head on Hinata’s in return. “You are wondering if… if we’re a couple or just…  _ friends _ . Or if this is simply casual and nothing more.” A pause. “Am I correct?”

“Yeah,” The brunette bite his lip in thought. “So… what do you want to be…?”

“What I want does not matter, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda replied. “What do you want…?”

“Shut up, what you want  _ does _ matter,” Hinata sat up straight and turned to Komaeda, eyebrows furrowed. “You have a say in things as well.”

“I don’t want my decision to influence your own, that’s not fair at all,” Komaeda murmured, keeping his gaze averted from the brunettes emerald eyes.

“Hold on, why would it?” Hinata questioned. “You and I both know I’m stubborn as hell and deeply stuck in my ways. I’m not gonna just follow your lead. This is  _ our _ decision, not mine, not yours. We’re in this together.”

Komaeda sat there for a moment, then turned to the brunette, and he was biting his lip again in nervousness.

“I want…” He hesitated. “I want to be  _ together _ with you. I don’t want to be friends, I don’t want this to be casual, I want… I…”

“You want to be my boyfriend?” Hinata finished, anxiety and affection mixing in his stomach to create an  _ awful _ feeling.

“Yes,” Komaeda finally met the other boys eyes and he looked  _ so vulnerable. _ “Yes, please… please. I want to be with you. I want to be your boyfriend. I want to be a couple.”

Hinata broke out into a wide grin, lunging forward and catching the white haired boy in a tight embrace.

“Same here,” The brunette murmured, still smiling uncontrollably. He hummed happily as Komaeda returned the embrace. “I really wanna be your boyfriend. I really want  _ you _ to be my boyfriend.”

Komaeda answered by simply squeezing the other tighter.

They were wrapped in silence before they pulled away, both smiling softly.

“Guess we’re boyfriends now, huh, Ko…?”

“I suppose we are.”

Hinata moved closer and tucked a bit of hair behind Komaeda’s ear, observing and admiring the boy in front of him.

Then, he got tempted.

“Komaeda,” Hinata called.

“Yes?” The white haired boy answered softly, running his hands over the other boys arms and hands.

Hinata pursed his lips as he slowly placed a hand gently on Komaeda’s nape. He leaned forward, stopping a few inches away from the others lips to look into grey eyes with a lingering question.

“Can—“

“Yes.”

Before the brunette could even respond, Komaeda closed the distance between them, pressing his lips softly against the other boys own. Despite the shock, Hinata quickly melted into the contact as one pale hand cupped his cheek and the other wandered to his waist. He hummed and leaned into Komaeda some more.

However, he quickly decided that this wasn’t enough contact and slid into the other boys lap, a sharp breath inhaled from Komaeda in pleasant surprise. But quickly enough, they both got comfortable and let their hands wander along each others bodies.

It’s when the white haired boy nipped the brunettes lip that things started to get a bit heated. Hinata’s hands slid under the t-shirt covering the boys chest while Komaeda pulled him closer, now gripping his hips.

Then, Hinata’s phone rang.

The brunette pulled away, a string of saliva briefly connecting the pairs lips before snapping, and he leaned over to the coffee table to pick it up.

He flipped it from facing down and the second he saw the name, he growled lowly.

_ Souda. _

Is this guy's entire goal in life to ruin Hinata’s life? Fucking goddamn  _ cockblocker _ .

Pressing the answer button, Hinata held the phone with one hand and cupped Komaeda’s cheek with the other.

Speaking of Komaeda—he looked absolutely  _ wrecked _ right now. His eyes were half-lidded and unable to rip away from the brunette, hands still at his hips, thumbs still hooked under his boxers, pressing into his skin. His lips were especially red and sparkled with shared saliva, still parted. His chest was heaving with breathlessness.

Hinata had to hold himself back from completely abandoning his call and diving back into Komaeda, whose eyes shown hunger and obvious craving for  _ more,  _ entirely shameless.

“ _ What? _ ” Hinata growled into the phone, still gazing at Komaeda who had taken his hand and started to gently kiss his palm and wrist. “I’m kinda busy, Souda.”

“Class started, like, ten minutes ago!” Souda whisper-shouted. “Where the fuck are you?!”

Hinata’s eyes shot open and he yanked the phone away from his ear, looking at the clock.

1:27 pm.

“Fuck,” Hinata breathed, trying to not make any other noise as Komaeda pulled him close again and began kissing his jawline. Mind hazy, he had to make a decision quickly.  _ Now. _

His common sense told him he could continue this later, but he just needed to go to class for the moment. His hormones said fuck class, fuck school,  _ stay home and get busy. _

So… fake being sick and stay here with Komaeda,  _ or _ leave Komaeda, go to class, and finish up later?

…

Fake being sick it is.

Hinata was never one with a lot of patience anyway.

“I’m sick, Souda,” Hinata answered into the phone. Komaeda pulled away and raised an eyebrow at him, but the brunette hushed him before he could comment by putting a finger to his own lips with a stern look.

“You sure as hell don’t sound sick,” Souda growled in return, obvious doubt in his voice. “Why are you skipping?!”

“I’m running a fuckin’ fever!”

“No, you’re not! I know it!”

“Goddamnit, Souda, just trust me here.”

“Hinata, I—“

A pause. Then a muffled, “Nothing sensei, just checking on a friend! I can go out into the hall!”

There was ruffling and a few more seconds of silence before Souda spoke again, this time a normal volume.

“You’re a big fuckin’ lair, Hinata Hajime.”

“I’m not lying!”

“Another lie! Just tell the truth! What are you doing? Are you in a gang now? Are you robbin’ people?!”

“Why do you always assume the worst?!  _ Hah— _ “

Komaeda thought it’d be a  _ fantastic _ moment to bite his throat. Right then. On the phone. With Souda. He slapped a hand onto his mouth and felt a small smile form on the lips at his neck.

Dead silence ensures.

“Hinata—“

“Shut up.”

“Am I interrupting something—?”

“Yes, my  _ sleep. _ I need to  _ sleep. _ I’m sick and I need to rest. Right now.”

“Are you fuckin’—“

“I need to go. Bye.”

And he hung up. Probably the worst decision he could possibly make, but it’s too late now. Already done.

Oh well. Not like it’s a tragedy or anything.

“Skipping class, hm…?” Komaeda purred, hot breath against Hinata’s jawline.

“Yeah, guess so,” The brunette answered with a smirk. “I can’t change my mind now, so I might as well just…” He ran a hand up Komaeda’s shirt. “...stay here. With you.  _ A~ll _ alone.”

Komaeda laughed lightly. “It’s almost like you’re implying something.”

“Really? Like what?”

A warm tongue ran along the muscle of his neck, lips kissing the damp skin there a few times. Hinata sighed in content, a shiver running up his spine.

“I suppose I could take a guess.”

The pair then got a bit too preoccupied to notice (or  _ care _ ) that Souda had called back another three times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UwU


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rip hinata hes hurtin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, missing the update day A G A I N,,,,,

His back hurt like  _ hell _ and his legs  _ ached _ .

But was it worth it?

_ Yes. _

Hinata was still sitting on Komaeda’s lap, sharing innocent and lazy kisses. They had somehow moved to the bedroom, though Hinata wasn’t paying much attention to anything but Komaeda.

C’mon, it’s not like he could help it. When both your hands and mouth are busy with something you’ve craved for an  _ unreasonably long _ amount of time, it’s a bit difficult to remember how you got from point A to point B.

Everything else was still fresh in his mind.

_ Jesus fuck. _

It was still afternoon, so they hadn’t gone at it for too long, but it still felt so short to the brunette.  _ Too short. _ The massive amounts of ecstasy, safety and closeless Komaeda made him feel was a mind blowing experience. It hadn’t been rough and fast, but it hadn’t been super gentle and slow either. It was a speed both of them could go at comfortably, but still  _ just _ slow enough for them to really emphasize how much they cared for each other. Hinata was amazed by just how gentle Komaeda could be. The praise he showered the brunette in was endless and true. Hinata could  _ see _ the love in his eyes the entire time.  _ God, _ there could’ve been hearts sparkling in his eyes if this was some kind of romance manga.

Well, not  _ just _ a romance manga, considering what had just unfolded, but that’s not important.

Running a hand through Komaeda’s curled hair, moving the strands hanging in his face, Hinata smiled softly. Komaeda took one of the brunettes hands and pulled it gently to his own cheek, nuzzling into the touch and kissing his palm gently. Hinata’s heart melted at his softness, leaning forward and kissing his forehead.

His gentle hands, his soft words, his slow, calculated movements, his silver eyes searching for any form of approval or disapproval; Komaeda was just…  _ so _ perfect.

The white haired boy wasn’t afraid to say he was in love with Hinata. But, now… the brunette was pretty sure he himself was falling in love as well.

“Do you have any idea how much I care for you, Hinata-kun…?” Komaeda murmured, his eyes heavy as he gazed lovingly into emerald eyes.

“Hajime,” Hinata answered, smiling softly as he cradled the other boys face. “We’re alone. You can call me Hajime.”

Komaeda stared at him silently, hands running down the brunettes naked spine, for the pair were both still barren of clothing. “Ha-Hajime…” He whispered, leaning forward slowly once more to kiss Hinata’s lips, then his cheek, his jaw, his neck. “ _ Hajime. Hajime. Hajime. _ ” He paused. “Please… then call me… Nagito. Please.”

“ _ Nagito, _ ” Hinata whispered, resting his forehead against the white haired boys. He smiled softly at the sharp inhale from the other. “Your name is so pretty, Nagito.”

“You’re gorgeous,” Komeda murmured, closing his eyes with a heavy sigh, obviously content. “You’re perfect. So wonderful.”

“God, why do you always have to one-up me?” Hinata chuckled, running his hands to the other boys shoulders and slowly down his arms, feeling every bit of pale skin, running over the scars littering that very surface.

“Because why not, Hajime,” Komaeda purred, smirking. “You deserve to know exactly how unique you are.”

“You gotta stop that,” Hinata flicked Komaeda’s forehead, a stern look on his face but the grin on his lips ruined any faked seriousness. “I just might fall for you.”

“Oh my,” Komaeda smiled in return, running his fingers up the brunette’s nape and into his spiked hair. “But isn’t that just my goal? What if that’s exactly what I want…?”

Hinata chuckled and rested his forehead against Komaeda’s, completely relaxed. “Then I might just have to say it.”

“Say what?”

“I’m not saying anything until I know for sure.”

“Oh come on, I’m curious now.”

“Nope.”

“You lack sympathy.”

“Oh really…?”

“Yes. Look at you, won’t even tell your boyfriend what you were going to say.”

“Hm… no, I think I just like teasing you.”

“Is that so? Ah, is that why you were so focused on—“

“ _ Hey! _ ” Hinata leaned back and covered the other boys mouth, who simply let out a muffled laugh at the blush blooming on the brunettes cheeks. “Shh! We’re not doing it anymore, don’t say things like that…!”

“Hmh…” Komaeda moved Hinata’s hand off of his mouth to reveal a smirk. Though he tried to look smug, he couldn’t hide the light blush on his skin. “What? Will you get all worked up again? You started it after all, if you’d like to continue  _ again— _ “

“ _ Sh-shut up! _ ”

  
  


**————**

  
  


After getting partially dressed, the pair wandered back out to the living room and relaxed. Eventually, Komaeda got up off of the couch and wandered to the kitchen for some food (of course after asking Hinata, as if he wasn’t completely welcome to it).

The brunette huddled deeper into the blanket the couple had been sharing as he kept his eyes on the horror show his…  _ boyfriend _ … had turned on.

He smiled to himself, burying his face into the soft fabric around him.

_ Boyfriend _ . Who would’ve known.

The blanket smelled of Komaeda and his cologne, comforting against his skin, warmth surrounding his body. He hasn’t been this pleased in the longest time. This peaceful feeling was so  _ amazing, _ and despite the dull ache in his legs and back, he found himself completely absorbed in the contentment filling the air.

There was an itch at the back of his neck, so he reached up with one hand and scratched the skin there. As he pulled his hand back down to his lap, his fingers ran over a spot with indented slits.

Hinata furrowed his eyebrows, letting the blanket fall to his lap as he sat up straight, running his fingers over the bit of skin again and again.

_ What the hell? What was that? _ It wasn’t bleeding and it didn’t hurt…

The brunette reached over to his phone laying on the coffee table and picked it up. He simply rolled his eyes at the texts from Souda and missed calls, ignoring the group chats messages as well. He simply opened his camera and switched it to the front view. He turned his head slightly to get a view of the patch of skin concerning him.

His eyes widened.

Hinata moved his shirt collar around, looking for any other bits of similar marks. There was another on his collarbone, another on the other side of his neck, two more on his nape.

He clenched his teeth.

“ _ Komaeda Nagito, what the fuck!” _ Hinata screamed, jumping up out of his seat, and then slid into the kitchen thanks to his socks.

Komaeda looked up from the counter, a bag of chips in front of him. “What’s wrong?”

“ _ Look what you did to my neck! _ ” Hinata aggressively pointed to his neck, pulling down his collar to show the hickey on his collarbone.

Komaeda’s face turned pink. “Oh… that.”

“Yeah,  _ that! _ ” The brunette shouted before groaning loudly, burying his face in his hands in frustration. “How the  _ fuck _ am I supposed to hide these?!”

“Uhh…” Komaeda looked off to the side sheepishly. “Makeup?”

“Do I look like a guy with makeup just  _ on hand _ , Komaeda?!”

“Well, no, but you never know until you ask, right?”

“ _ Oh my god!” _

“Hey, I didn’t  _ mean _ to, I’m just that kind of guy—“

“What?! Possessive?!”

“Of course not! I just… uh… I like…” Komaeda trailed off. “...marks… and stuff…”

“Did you put any anywhere else?!”

“There may or may not be one or two on one of your thighs.”

“I’m gonna die…  _ I’m seriously gonna die… _ ”

“No need to be dramatic!” Komaeda put his hands up in defense, obviously embarrassed. “They’ll heal! They’re not permanent!”

“Well, I know that! It’s just…!” Hinata ran a hand down his reddening face. “No one’s gonna let me live this down.”

Komaeda snorted.

“Hey, this isn’t funny!” Hinata rushed over to Komaeda and hit his arm.

“It kind of is,” The white haired boy laughed.

“No it’s not!”

“It is!”

Hinata buried his face in Komaeda’s shirt, muttering things about him being an idiot.

“Oh, come on now…” Komaeda said, chuckles dying out to a simple smile. He wrapped his arms around the brunette, patting his back. “It’s okay! You’ll be fine! Just… wear a scarf or a hoodie with a large hood. Things like that! I can also go out and get some makeup to cover them up if you’d like!”

“Why would we buy something that we’re only going to use once?”

Komaeda paused.

“Well… are you  _ sure _ it’ll be just once—?”

“ _ No! _ ” Hinata jumped back, shaking his head aggressively as his face grew redder. “No, no, no! Don’t! Not again! I swear to god, I’ll punch you!”

“...Do you really  _ not _ like them…?” Komaeda crossed his arms, a small smile on his lips. “I read people very well, Hajime, and you’re not very good at lying. According to your body language, at least.”

Hinata’s eyes widened.

_ Was…? _

_ Oh, shit. _

“I think you  _ like _ them.”

“ _ I don’t! _ ”

“Yes, you do.”

“Shut up, I  _ don’t! _ ”

“Liar.”

Hinata was  _ fuming _ in embarrassment now, unable to respond, mouth opening and closing like a fish. Komaeda caught him red-handed but he  _ refused _ to admit it. He’d have to  _ torture _ Hinata if the white haired boy wanted an honest answer. But right now? Nope. Not happening.

Hinata Hajime was a stubborn son of a bitch—with a very small amount of pride left that he will  _ not _ let go of.  _ No matter what. _

“You’re so cute when you’re speechless,” Komaeda cooed, putting a finger to his lips with a smile, tilting his head.

“ _ Fuck you! _ ”

“Mm? Really? Again—?”

“I  _ swear to god! _ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaha


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> callout post @ hinata: tf is on ur neck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> several updates in a row becuz i have no sense of time eyyyy

A couple days later, Hinata had class once again and  _ did _ go this time. He had taken Komaeda’s advice and wore one of his thicker hoodies. It covered  _ most _ of the hickeys, but it was still quite risky. It was  _ horrible _ to have to wear a thick hoodie is nearly 80° Fahrenheit, but it was necessary.

At least the classroom had air conditioning.

He kept his hood up the entire two and a half hours of class. The students sitting behind him said nothing (they couldn’t see anything in the first place), but there were a few that smirked at him or giggled a bit in front or next to him. Hinata would blush a deep red, because he knew  _ exactly _ what they were grinning about, and he literally couldn’t do  _ anything _ except turn away, glare, or flip them off.

Which would usually reward him with more giggles.

But… it’s not like it was  _ horrible. _ Unfortunately (Or fortunately? Who knows), Komaeda really could read Hinata well. He could read people well in general. So… when he said that Hinata  _ liked _ the marks, He wasn’t  _ wrong _ . As much as the brunette hates to admit it, he  _ adores _ them. The bruises were like public reminders that Hinata was taken by someone, his mind and body always on someone else. He’d look in the mirror and run his fingers over the red, blue, and yellow marks, replaying the events in his head that lead up to them being placed there. He’d bite his lip as he remembered the feeling of Komaeda’s lips on his skin, his hands on his chest and back, his… uh… his  _ everything _ . Yeah. Let’s put it like that.

Aaaand now he spaced out in his next class and doesn’t know what’s going on anymore.

Oh well, he’ll figure it out. He’s just happy he doesn’t have class with Souda today.

_ Souda. _

Hinata almost forgot. He’d… eventually need to face his friends again with… obvious hickeys… on his neck.

The brunette let out a heavy sigh and buried his face in his hands.

After Komaeda left a couple days prior, Hinata finally checked his messages. Everyone was meeting up on Thursday for a little get-together at Souda’s dorm. Of all places. And yeah, Souda shared the dorm with Tanaka, but still, not a good mix at the moment. The brunette skipping class to spend “quality time” with his boyfriend will be held over Hinata’s head for the rest of his life. That’s just how it was going to go.

Komaeda was coming, of course. Sonia insisted, and Nanami was just as happy to invite him. Hinata had no objections.

Well, kind of. The only reason he  _ wouldn’t _ want Komaeda to come was because he’d be dragged into the entire “Let’s Tease Hinata Hajime About Not Being a Virgin Anymore” party.

This would be eventful. Especially when Souda knows  _ exactly _ what happened.

Of  _ all _ people.

It just  _ had _ to be Souda Kazuichi.

  
  


**—————**

  
  


The second Hinata walked into the dorm he and his friends were invited to, Souda was already evilly grinning at him.

Of course, he immediately looked away, and hoped that the light foundation over his bruises was enough to hide them. He wasn’t experienced in makeup, okay? Feeling the cakey-ness on his skin was already annoying.

Almost immediately, he spotted Komaeda sitting at a table next to Sonia, showing her something on his phone. She was smiling brightly, eyes sparkling in fascination.

The brunette couldn’t help but smile a bit at the sight. Getting to see someone who, not long ago, was an isolated boy, lonely, with only two trusted friends, finally open up  _ just a bit _ to others, was comforting.

Hinata found it adorable how he spoke excitedly to the blonde, putting down his phone and talking with his hands as the princess smiled happily. She said something in return, and Komaeda nodded. They continued to talk. Who knows about what, but obviously a topic they both enjoy.

“Hinata.” A gentle tap on his shoulder. The brunette turned to see Nanami.

“Hi, Nanami-san,” He greeted with a smile. “How have you been?”

“I finished my exams,” She replied, subtle bags under her light pink eyes. “I’m pretty tired.”

“Heh, yeah, understandable,” He smiled. “I hope they weren’t  _ too _ stressful.”

The shorter girl rubbed her eyes with the sleeves of her thin hoodie. “Mm… not too much. I managed to get enough sleep and a good meal. Tsumiki-san and Sonia-san were very kind and stayed the night with me as well.”

Hinata tilted his head. “Are you guys…?”

“...Sonia-san and I,” Nanami smiled softly, cheeks growing pink as she twirled her hair.

“I didn’t know. Since when?”

“Just a few weeks ago.”

“I’m happy for you, Nanami-san,” Hinata took her hand and squeezed it. “You should have told me earlier!”

“I kn~ow,” Nanami sighed, a smile still present on her lips. “I just wanted to wait until things were official…!”

“I’m just messing with you, Nanami-san,” The brunette chuckled, letting go of her hand.

“Why didn’t you arrive with Komaeda-kun, by the way?” The pastel pink haired girl asked, tilting her head.

Hinata did his best to suppress any evidence of being flustered. “Ah, I had to finish up a bit of work at the shop,” Hinata sheepishly replied, rubbing his nape unconsciously. “This lady and her kid were being a pain in the ass.”

“You’ve never been too fond of children, have you, Hinata?” Nanami giggled lightly.

“Hey now, I’m just not good with them!” Hinata defended quickly. “Kids are just… I don’t know…  _ kids? _ ”

Nanami smirked lightly. “That was a very half-hearted excuse.”

“Shut up,” He laughed.

Eventually, the pair sat down on the couch nearby to continue catching up, and the brunette made sure to ignore Souda, who sat on the other end, talking to Kuzuryuu.

“ _ Boo! _ ”

Nanami just about flew into the air in surprise when arms wrapped around her from behind the couch. “Geez, Sonia-san, you scared me…” The pastel pink haired girl softly placed a hand on the other girls arm.

“That was the point!” The blonde princess smiled happily, pecking a quick kiss onto the shorter girls temple. She then hopped over the back of the couch and plopped down next to her girlfriend. Sonia leaned over and smiled brightly at Hinata.

“How have you been lately, Hinata-kun?” She asked happily.

“I’ve been fine,” The brunette returned the smile. “You?”

“ _ Amazing! _ ” She cheered, clinging onto Nanami who at this point was  _ very _ flustered. “Did Nanami-san tell you about us?”

“Yes, she did,” Hinata answered. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you!” Sonia chimed, resting her head on Nanami’s shoulder. “I’ve liked her for awhile, but she’s a li~ttle dense, so it took a bit longer than I would’ve liked for her to realize I was asking her out repeatedly.” She giggled at Nanami’s defensive huff and crossed arms, despite her cheeks being cherry-red.

“I’m sorry to say, Nanami-san,” Hinata patted her shoulder, a faked look of sadness on his face. “She’s right. You  _ are _ dense.”

“Sh-shut up…” She murmured.

A flick greeted Hinata on his nape.

“Hey! Ow!” Hinata spun around, rubbing the stinging spot, and immediately felt his stomach sink.

Here it comes.

“So, Hinata!” Souda began, putting his arm around the brunette and squeezing, observing his nails nonchalantly. “You skipped class a few days ago, huh? What did you say, hmm…” He tapped his chin thoughtfully. “You were sick? Hm? Is that right?”

“Oh my!” Sonia perked up, putting a hand to her lips. “Were you okay, Hinata-kun? Did you have the flu? It has been going around recently!”

“N-no,” Hinata nervously chuckled. “Just a fever and a cough. It was pretty mild, not anything to worry about.”

“ _ Really? _ ” Souda gasped dramatically, eyes wide in surprise. “I didn’t know! I’m  _ so _ sorry to hear that!”

Hinata bitterly smiled at him. “Thanks, but I’m fine now.”

“Did you get a weird rash or something, too?” Souda cocked his head to the side, eyebrows raised.

“What?” Hinata gave him a confused expression. “No?”

“Wow, really? Then what’s that mark on the back of your neck?”

“Wh—“

_ Oh, fuck. _

_ Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. _

_ Shit. _

The brunette shot a hand up to his nape, laughing. “Nothing. Just, uh… hit my neck.”

“Hit your neck…” Souda stuck his bottom lip out in thought. “Never heard that one before.”

“I was grabbing something from under my kitchen table,” Hinata quickly explained, lying, lying, lying through his teeth. “I stood up too fast and hit the edge.”

“Hm.” Souda looked back to Hinata, slowly grinning. “I know you’re lying.”

“I-I’m not!”

“Yes you a~re!”

“How could he be lying?” Nanami spoke up, tilting her head.

“See for yourself!” Souda lunged forward and ripped the brunettes hand from his nape. “Behold! A  _ hickey! _ ”

He obviously said that  _ much _ too loud, because the room damn nearly fell silent. Everyone looked to the four on the couch, varying facial expressions. Hinata caught Komaeda’s eye, and could’ve almost laughed if he hadn’t been the victim of this situation.

Komaeda looked  _ really _ taken aback, confusion covering his expression.

Hinata gave him a nervous smile, silently screaming for help.

“ _ Hinata-kun has a what?! _ ” Owari shouted, complete awe on her face.

This is the end.

This is the apocalypse for Hinata Hajime, a normal human being.

“A hickey!” Souda repeatedly proudly, standing up on the couch. “And I will give  _ one _ guess to everyone of who the culprit is! If you’re right, I’ll get you a drink!”

“Komaeda.” Nearly everyone said in unison.

“I’m going to die.” The brunette murmured, face hotter than it’s ever been in his life as he buried it in his hands.

“Congratulations, Hinata Hajime!” Souda clapped wildly. “You’re not a virgin anymore!”

  
  


**————**

  
  


“Well,” The white haired boy muttered. “That went well.”

“ _ Really? _ ” Hinata sarcastically smiled.

“Hey,” Komaeda nudged the brunette’s shoulder with his own as they walked away from the college. “It wasn’t  _ that _ bad.”

“Says you. You’re not close friends with a ruthless demon ready to embarrass you at any moment.”

“But he’s still your friend, is he not?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Now, now, don’t be so rude!”

The pair bantered back and forth for awhile as they walked to Hinata’s apartment. When they arrived, the brunette stopped before entering the building. He turned to his boyfriend.

“You sure you don’t want to stay the night?” He questioned calmly, smiling softly.

“I’m sure, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda answered, quickly glancing around before leaning forward and pecking the other boy on the lips. “I’m busy, and you need your rest.”

Hinata felt a bit of anxiety ball in his stomach, but did his best to ignore it. Komaeda was good… at what he did. He’ll be okay.

“Alright,” Hinata hummed, tucking a strand of Komaeda’s soft hair behind his ear. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, my love.”

The brunettes stomach filled with butterflies at the nickname, and all he could do was quickly kiss his boyfriends cheek before rushing inside.

Komaeda stood at the entrance, watching as the apartment door closed.

With a sigh, he turned on his heel, and headed for his own apartment.

Tonight was going to be busy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aha :) i hope :) u guys :) like rides :)))))) becuz the next :) chapters :) will be one :DDDDD


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh shit, a rat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its bout 1 am so its technically monday

“Shit! Komaeda, what the hell happened?!”

The white haired boy nearly fell to the floor as he struggled to climb through the window. He was  _ covered _ in blood. Hinata couldn’t tell what was his and what wasn’t, but it was beyond obvious the boy was hurt, considering the fact his mask was cracked and he was clutching his side as blood soaked through the white fabric and between his gloved fingers.

Hinata hadn’t seen Komaeda for a little over a week or so. His boyfriend did talk to him via text and phone call, though. Turns out, crime rates recently have spiked, so The Ultimate Hope has been a  _ bit _ more busy than usual.

But this… this wasn’t supposed to happen. Komaeda was  _ good _ at what he did. He’d never gotten severely hurt.

This was definitely severe, though.

Before Hinata could question the boy further, Komaeda dropped a bag on the carpet, then stumbled into the kitchen. He left a trail of blood.

“First… aid k-kit,” He slurred as he plopped down on the floor, weakly gesturing to the bag. Hinata quickly picked it up and rushed to his boyfriends side, ripping the zipper open. “Should… have what we need.” Komaeda sighed and rested his head against the wall, looking completely exhausted.

“What the fuck happened?!” Hinata questioned again and he dropped to his knees, pulling out supplies but quickly growing frustrated. He then just dumped all of the bags contents onto the tiled floor. “How bad are you hurt?!”

“Gunshot,” Komaeda whispered, looking down at his side that was still cradled tightly in his grip. “Another… right leg…” Hinata looked over and saw a piece of black cloth tied tightly around Komaeda’s calf. It was soaked a deep red. “Minor injuries… else… where…”

“Okay, okay, um…” Hinata looked through the pile of medical supplies, stressed and panicked. “Wh-what do I do?”

“You need… to remove the bullets…”

Hinata’s emerald eyes widened.

“I’m not a surgeon, I can’t do that! You need to go to a hospital!”

“Y-you know I can’t do that,” Komaeda swallowed, licking at his blood soaked lips. His nose was gushing blood. “Take…these,”—Komaeda shakily reached out and tapped medical pliers.—“Pull them out. They…are in muscle. I-I’ll be fine. Just as long as they’re… out.”

Hinata was ready to object again, but he was left with no option. It was beyond obvious that Komaeda was much too weak to do it himself. He  _ needed _ someone else to, and he only had Hinata to rely on.

The brunette looked through the supplies on the floor in front of him, finally finding disinfectant, a needle and syringe, and some liquid painkillers.

“Hinata-kun…” Komaeda waved the needle away as the boy prepared it. “I… don’t need it.”

“Well, I do, then,” Hinata shot back, flicking the syringe to rid it of air bubbles after taking some medication into it. “Last thing I need is to feel guilty for the rest of my life knowing I hurt you.”

“It’s… necessary.”

“Not if I can help it,” Hinata removed Komaeda’s hand from his side and took his hoodie off. He then slid the skin tight fabric up and out of the way. He cringed at the sight of the bullet hole. “Hold still, this is… gonna sting really bad.”

Komaeda grabbed his hoodie and shoved a sleeve in his mouth to bite down on.

And with that, he splashed disinfectant onto the wound. Komaeda flinched and slammed a fist on the floor, breathing heavily after letting out a muffled scream.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Hinata murmured over and over again as he set the bottle down and grabbed the needle. “Hold on, babe, just… hold on a bit longer.”

Komaeda whimpered, breathing deeply as the brunette gave him the shot of pain killers. It obviously hurt as well, considering the thickness of the needle, as well as Komaeda restraining another flinch.

“O-okay…” Hinata had to start doing deep breathing exercises himself as he put gloves on clumsily and picked up the pliers. “This is probably two soon, but… we can’t wait.”

Komaeda nodded as he gazed at Hinata, pain in his features but  _ trust _ overflowing in his eyes.

That gave the last bit of motivation the brunette needed for him to gently part the open wound with two fingers to gain better access, and then ease the pliers inside.

Komaeda was making  _ indescribably _ painful sounds, so obviously the painkillers weren’t fast-working.

Hinata tried his best to focus for the feeling of the tool hitting the bullet, but it was really difficult because of the  _ horrific _ sounds filling the air.

But soon enough, he felt the pliers hit something hard.

_ Gotcha. _

“Sorry, ahead of time,” Hinata guiltily whispered, before opening the pliers enough to grab the bullet.

Komaeda was  _ screaming _ as he buried his face even more into the fabric of his bloodied hoodie.

Hinata was able to get ahold of the bullet and eased it out of the muscle, biting his lip much too hard. Finally, the pliers and bullet popped out with a  _ sickening _ sound, dark blood following them. Hinata just dropped the thing on the floor like it was molten iron and grabbed the bandages and gauze.

Applying pressure, he put several layers of gauze on first and quickly taped them down. He then began winding the actual bandages around Komaeda’s torso, trying to keep them tight, but not too tight.

Good enough for now.

Hinata quickly moved over to Komaeda’s leg and repeated the entire process: disinfect, painkiller shot, remove the bullet, bandage it up.

The process was no less painful for either of them.

But as Komaeda’s exhausted screams and groans died down, so did Hinata’s anxiety and paranoia.

The room grew quiet as Hinata took care of the rest of Komaeda’s wounds, which wasn’t too many. His bleeding nose was the hardest to take care of out of the more minor injuries.

Once he was done, the next task was to get some new clothes on the white haired boy and get him to rest.

He let Komaeda lean on him and lead him into the bedroom, sitting the injured boy down on the mattress. Hinata turned and took a t-shirt and sweatpants out from a drawer in his dresser. Hinata froze as he set the clothing down on the bed, glancing to his boyfriend, who looked completely exhausted. His wounds were cleaned and taken care of, but dried blood (his own  _ or  _ someone else's) still shown on his visible skin.

The brunette quickly stopped at the sink in the bathroom and ran a washcloth under warm water. He then wrung it out as much as he could so the cloth was only damp. He quickly rushed back to Komaeda’s side.

“The painkillers should last for a bit,” Hinata murmured as he removed the other boys shirt completely and ran the washcloth over his skin to get rid of any dried blood. “I don’t know how long they’ll last, but it should relieve some of the pain.” Hinata stood up straight and rubbed his eyes with his sleeve. “ _ God… _ Nagito, I'm so sorry. I-I tried to help but I just caused you more pain and… I don’t know. I just…” He sobbed, knees growing weak before he collapsed to the carpeted floor. “I’m so sorry.”

A body slid down right next to him and held him close, Hinata’s head tucked under the others chin.

“You did everything right,” Komaeda whispered, rocking the both of them gently. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Pulling out a bullet is going to hurt one way or another.”

“B…but I could've done  _ better— _ “

“You did exactly what I would've done, Hajime,” Komaeda hushed, one hand gliding up to Hinata’s cheek and slowly stroking the soft skin there. “You were perfect. I’m alive.  _ You _ got the bullets out and  _ you _ stopped the bleeding.” He paused. “I’d be dead in the street if I didn’t have you, Hajime.”

Just the mental image of Komaeda completely still in the middle of a dark road, lying in a pool of his own blood, eyes wide open but empty of life, made Hinata cry harder.

The thought of Komaeda dead made him  _ sick _ .

“You’re alive,” The brunette breathed, burying his tear-stained face into the warm, pale chest of the other boy. “You’re  _ alive. _ ”

“Focus on that, okay?” Komaeda hummed. “Don’t think about the hypothetical situations. In this situation… in  _ reality…  _ you saved me, and I will recover. Thank you.”

Hinata snorted weakly in amusement. “We’ve switched roles, huh…?”

“I suppose we have,” Komaeda replied, a smile obvious in his voice.

Soon enough, the couple got up again and Komaeda got fully changed into clean clothes. They both lied down in bed facing each other, Hinata playing with Komaeda’s hair. He ran his other hand over the scars covering one of the white haired boys forearms and smiled softly.

No scabs.

“I took your words to heart, Hajime,” Komaeda spoke up, knowing exactly what Hinata was thinking. “I haven’t done anything since we spoke of such.”

“You have no idea how happy that makes me,” Hinata moved a bit closer to his boyfriend, pecking him on the nose gently. He laced their fingers together, squeezing gently, cupping Komaeda’s cheek with his other hand. “I’m proud of you. Keep taking care of yourself.” He paused. “And never hesitate to reach out for help, Nagito. I’m here, Nanami is here, Sonia is here… you have friends who care. A  _ boyfriend _ who cares. We all care for you.”

Komaeda almost melted before the brunettes eyes.

“I love you, Hinata Hajime.”

Hinata bit his lip, pink dusting his cheeks as he averted his gaze, and then looked back to the boy across from him.

“I love you, too.”

A beat of silence.

Then misty, grey eyes teared up.

A bright smile.

Hands then cradled his face and lips connected with his own.

Hinata quickly let his eyes flutter shut, savoring the warm body pressing up against his own and the hot air breathed into his parted lips. The couple tangled their legs together softly and the brunette weaved his arms around Komaeda, cradling his back and shoulders. He was careful to keep his hands and legs away from Komaeda’s wounds, but it was almost like Komaeda could care less about any pain. He just seemed desperate to be closer to his boyfriend. It was like he would do anything to just  _ melt _ into the brunettes body.

They pulled away, breath a bit uneven. The white haired boys eyes were heavy as he gazed at Hinata lovingly.

Then his hands began to wander lower on Hinata’s body.

The brunette quickly stopped him by grabbing his wrists.

“Wait,” Hinata furrowed his eyebrows. “You’re hurt. I don’t want you to overdo yourself. Making things worse is just…”

“We can try something different,” Komaeda whispered, moving his hands to take hold of Hinata’s. “Don’t worry about me. I want to. I just need your consent.”

Hinata bit his lip and looked down, thinking it over.

If Komaeda is okay with it (not to mention, making the first move), then…

“Okay,” Hinata smiled softly releasing Komaeda’s hands and wrapped his arms around his neck, tangling his fingers in the white locks. “Just don’t overdo it. Stop whenever you want to. I don’t need you hurting yourself, Nagito.”

“Of course, Hajime.”

Then Komaeda sunk under the sheets.

  
  


**———**

  
  


Warm chest pressed to his back, arms wrapped around his body, slowing breath brushing his nape softly.

All too familiar, and  _ so _ close to what felt like heaven.

“I like the sounds you make,” Komaeda murmured. Hinata didn’t need to see his face to know he was smiling.

“Sh-shut the fuck up,” Hinata hissed, tugging on a strand of curly, white hair. He only earned a soft laugh in reply. “You’re not any better.”

“You’re louder. I bet your neighbors heard.”

“ _ Shut up! _ ”

Another laugh, then Komaeda cuddled closer, squeezing Hinata’s torso gently.

They fell into a comfortable silence quite quickly, but a question was itching the back of Hinata’s mind, and he couldn’t relax fully without knowing.

“Nagito?”

“Yes, love?”

“...What happened out there?”

Silence.

Hinata was about to speak and apologize, but Komaeda beat him to it.

“A serial rapist and murderer was on the loose,” Komaeda murmured, pressing his forehead into Hinata’s nape for comfort. “He has been able to appear and vanish for the past week. I had been hunting him the entire time, but he was quite good at hiding.” A pause. “I finally cornered him tonight as he was trying to break into a 16 year old girls room after taking the rest of the family hostage. I managed to get him outside before he could do anymore damage, and that’s where things got complicated,” Komaeda sighed. “He had a gun and a knife on him. I suspect he was going to use the knife on the child, and then the gun on the family so there were no witnesses; However, that’s only my theory.

I told him about the despair he was spreading, but he didn’t care, as most sicknesses like him do. In the end, I was able to end his string of crime via death, but not before he had gotten his hands on me. He nearly fully ripped off my mask. That’s the closest I’ve ever been to being caught.

But… as he was lying on the ground, bleeding out, just before I ended our ordeal, he managed to shoot me twice out of the four bullets he had left.” Komaeda squeezed Hinata gently. “I was only able to escape because of the family's kindness. They didn’t call the police, nor did they notify any neighbors until I was long gone.”

Hinata turned over and embraced the white haired boy, kissing his neck and jawline softly. “I’m just happy you're safe now. That’s what truly matters.”

“You’re so soft, Hajime.”

“Shut up. You are, too.”

“For you? Yes. Yes I am.”

“Pfft. Stop it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahahahahaah ;)


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shits going down, we are nearly finished

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh oh lol

_ “Sh-shit…” _

_ The man was hyperventilating at this point, staring at his friend bleeding on the pavement. He hid in the shadow of a house, hands shaking, much too terrified to step out and do something. _

_ After all, The Ultimate Hope was standing right over that bleeding, weak body. _

_ Quiet words were exchanged, but he couldn’t make out what they were. He didn’t know if he even  _ wanted  _ to. _

Bang, bang, bang, bang!

_ He stumbled back, heart racing. What? What? Does The Ultimate Hope work with  _ guns _ now? Shit. Fuck. How was he going to get out of here with that? Oh fuck.  _ Fuck.

_ He peeked out from his hiding spot to find The Ultimate Hope gripping their side as they pushed the man's friend back to the ground roughly. Blood seeped into the snow white fabric that covered their body. _

_ And, just then, the man noticed their mask was crooked, revealing a bit of their face. Rather,  _ his _ face. _

_ And he knew this man. He talked to him a few times. At the bookstore. The man had taken a book he had wanted, and they agreed on exchanging it once he was finished. _

_ Komaeda Nagito. _

_ His friend may be dead, limp on the ground, gun empty and fallen out of his hands, but he had a chance. A chance for revenge. A chance to lock this son of a bitch up in the depths of prison. He  _ really _ thought he could just rule the goddamn city unchecked. _

_ Not anymore. Oh…  _ no _. He won’t let that happen. _

_ Komaeda Nagito was going to fall, the man would make sure of it. _

  
  


**————**

  
  


**Hinata**

**12:37 pm**

Hey babe, would you like to meet up at the local cafe?? I was just paid and I’d like to treat you :)

  
  


That’s the text message Hinata sent an hour and a half ago.

It wasn’t like Komaeda to leave his phone unanswered for so long. He always had it on him, and when he didn’t it was when he was “working”, and he  _ always _ told Hinata when he was working.

The brunettes stomach rolled in worry.

  
  


**Hinata**

**1:04 pm**

Ko?? You alright??

  
  


Another half hour passed.

Still no answer.

Hinata picked his phone back up and clicked on the group chat.

  
  


**Hinata**

**1:38 pm**

Hey, has anyone heard from Komaeda today?? He’s not answering any of his texts, this isn’t like him…

  
  


A few seconds passed and an answer came through.

  
  


**Sonia**

**1:38 pm**

I have been trying to contact him as well. :( No answer on my side.

**Souda**

**1:39 pm**

he aint answerin his bf OR his best friend???? damn,,

**Nanami**

**1:41 pm**

i texted him a bit ago. he’s not answering me either.

**Sonia**

**1:41 pm**

So no one knows where he is and why he isn’t answering…? Oh dear, I'm worried now.

**Hinata**

**1:42 pm**

I am too Sonia, I have no clue whats going on…

**Owari**

**1:44 pm**

what?????????? huh??????????

**Souda**

**1:44 pm**

ko aint answerin his phone like usual ://

**Tsumiki**

**1:45 pm**

Is he in his house? He could possibly be sleeping…

**Hinata**

**1:46 pm**

He’s a light sleeper, he’d wake up after one notification

**Tsumiki**

**1:47 pm**

Aaaa, now I’m beginning to worry. What if something happened?

**Souda**

**1:47 pm**

highly doubt that,, hes a smart dude, he wouldnt get himself into sum dangerous shit or smth,,,, and if he did, im sure hed come out fine,,,,

**Souda**

**1:48 pm**

this is,,,, freakin me out,,,,,

**Hinata**

**1:48 pm**

Trust me, you’re not the only one

  
  


_ BEEP BEEP BEEP. _

The brunette jumped at the sudden noise from the TV. Wasn’t that… the breaking news tone? That only played when something seriously bad was going on.

Hinata turned off his phone and wandered from his bedroom to the living room, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he looked at the screen, crossing his arms.

“...Breaking news has been reported, most likely one of the biggest stories in Japanese history.”

_ Wow, _ alright, that’s a big exaggeration. He snorted quietly.

“The Ultimate Hope has been identified and arrested just earlier this afternoon.”

Hinata couldn’t breath, chest tightening and stomach dropping as he froze completely.

_ What? _ He… he must’ve heard that wrong. There’s… no way…

A shakily recorded video from some 20 yards away from its filming target showed on the screen. A man with white, fluffy hair was pinned to the ground by several police officers and people decked out in armor and huge guns. There was no struggling, obvious even at this distance, and despite that fact, his head was slammed multiple times into the paved ground, arms violently twisted behind his back. The camera zoomed in on the mans face, and it was undeniable now.

Komaeda Nagito had been arrested.

He looked hopeless, face showing no emotion, as he stared blankly ahead. His temple was bleeding, cheek scraped, those bandages from that  _ terrifying _ night not even three days ago still on his nose and chin. He took the beating like it was nothing, only wincing a bit at a particularly hard hit on his back with a baton.

“Komaeda Nagito, a 22-year-old man, was arrested in a local park. This is footage captured and submitted by a bystander and witness of said arrest.” The news broadcaster announced. “The police received an anonymous tip from a man two nights ago, revealing the serial killers name and address to authorities. Investigation was put into action, and evidence was quickly collected. Only this morning was it officially confirmed that Komaeda Nagito was, without a doubt, the popular and controversial serial killer.”

“N…no…” Hinata lost feeling in his limbs as he mumbled to himself, stumbling. “Lying. They’re lying. I…I’m dreaming.”

The voice on the TV grew muffled, his vision going blurry and tunneled.

He fell to the floor.

  
  


**—————**

  
  


He awoke to pounding on his door and a muffled shout.

He sat up slowly, rubbing his head with one hand, the other keeping him steady.

_ BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG. _

_ “Police! Open up immediately!” _

What? Why were the police here? There’s no reason for them to be—

Oh.

_ Oh. _

So he really is living a nightmare.

The brunette stumbled onto his feet and unlocked the door. He opened it to find two police officers standing there, stern looks on their faces.

“Hinata Hajime, correct?” The policeman spoke, the policewoman next to him crossing her arms as she looked the brunette up and down.

“Y…yes,” Hinata murmured.

“I assume you know why we're here,” The woman spoke.

“Yes.”

“We have some questions to ask you, Hinata.”

“Yes.” He stepped out of the way, eyes on the ground. He felt completely empty.

The pair walked inside, footsteps heavy and intimidating. Hinata knew he’d usually be nervous as hell for authorities to show up at his apartment but…  _ right now? _ He felt absolutely nothing. No fear, no anxiety, not even anger or sadness.

He felt nothing.

He sat down in the kitchen with the officers and began answering their questions.

“Were you aware of Komaeda’s status as The Ultimate Hope?”

“No.” A lie.

“Did he ever disappear suddenly without you knowing the reason?”

“No. He always had a reason.” A lie.

More questions concerning timing and places, things Hinata mindlessly answered.

“What was your relationship with Komaeda?”

“We… we were close friends.” If ‘close friends’ kissed and cuddled and went on dates and spent large amounts of time in the bedroom, it wouldn’t be a lie.

But it was.

Komaeda was his boyfriend.

This was the biggest  _ fucking _ lie Hinata has ever told. He was  _ never _ ‘close friends’ with Komaeda. It was acquaintances, a crush, a lover, and then commitment.

They were never fucking friends.

They were goddamn in love and this  _ wasn’t how things were supposed to go. _

That’s when the tears started to fall.

They ran down his cheeks uncomfortably, falling to the table, collecting at his lips and chin.

“Please get out,” Hinata whispered.

Silence.

“Alright,” The pair stood up. “You’re free of being a suspect of harboring a criminal and protecting his identity. You’re free—“

“ _ Leave. _ ” Hinata buried his face in his hands. “Just fucking leave.”

And they did without a word, closing the door behind them.

Hinata collapsed to the floor, curling in on himself as sobs racked through his body viciously.

He wanted to be with Komaeda for the rest of his life; He wanted to be married to him, to live with him, to die and rot beside him.

He wanted a happy ending.

He wanted to be happy for the rest of his life. To be understood and to understand.

There was still so much he wanted to do with Komaeda. So, so much.

And yet, here he was, sobbing and shaking and hyperventilating on the hard, unforgiving floor.

  
  


**———**

  
  


A week (full of isolation, barely eating, and sobbing his eyes out) later, the brunette received a call.

Due to the severity and damning evidence against Komaeda, his trial had already been held and his ruling was quickly decided.

Komaeda Nagito was placed on death row and would be executed in a few days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do yall hate me yet
> 
> and looK i know this is NOT how government charges work n shit, even if its serial murders, and the process is much longer but thats boringgggg, we gotten throw some government corruption in there am i right
> 
> getting executed asap is more entertaining anyway s o


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had school, saw it chapter two, and then passed out, im sowwy UnU

Four days pass.

96 hours pass.

5,760 minutes pass.

345,600 seconds pass.

Doesn’t matter how you put it, how you say it, how you spell it out; Time has passed and today is the day.

Today is the day Hinata’s life would crumble even more than it already had.

Komaeda Nagito’s death was scheduled for today… and Hinata Hajime could do _nothing_ about it.

So there he sat, palm pressed up against the glass. The glass that was separating his boyfriends hand from his own. The glass that kept them apart, kept them from holding each other. They could only speak through that _fucking phone on the wall,_ there was no other way to hear the others voice.

Hinata’s vision was blurry as he gazed sadly at the boy behind the glass. The boy who had collected _more wounds_ since he’d been shoved into prison. Oh, and not from the inmates, despite them nearly _begging_ to snap his spine; The _guards_ would beat him whenever they pleased. They were the only ones allowed in and out of his confinement cell. You know, the cells barely big enough to move around in, no window, just a _shitty_ bed, toilet, and sink.

The white haired boy was kept alone as he was seen as a danger to other inmates.

But considering how the entire prison was acting, the inmates were more of a danger to Komaeda than vice versa.

Hinata rubbed at his face, sniffling and wiping the fallen tears away.

“ _F-fuck…_ ” He murmured, voice raspy.

“Hey,” Komaeda piped up, and the brunette looked up to see that soft, deeply-in-love expression he always had on while with Hinata. “Hajime… it’s okay. There’s nothing you can do. They’ll be taking me in a few minutes. It’s not something we can stop.”

“We should’ve…” Hinata gasped, hand slipping down from the glass, clutching the phone tighter. “We should’ve fucking… _ran away_ or something. W-we… we could’ve escaped this. You could’ve stopped and we… we could—“ The brunette sobbed quietly.

“We could’ve been happy?” Komaeda tilted his head, much too calm. It made Hinata _sick_.

“Yes,” The other boy whispered. “We could’ve done anything we wanted. _Anything._ Just fuckin’ escape this city and leave it behind.”

“Ah, Hajime…” Komaeda sighed lovingly. “You’re very thoughtful. But… it seems that’s not how things worked out. I was caught, and this is my punishment for doing what I believed as right.” He paused, tapping on the glass to get Hinata’s attention. “It’ll be okay, Hajime. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Ah, one more thing!” Komaeda quickly said, looking to his left. The guards must be coming to take him away. “Promise me, Hajime… promise you will continue my legacy. Promise you won’t let The Ultimate Hope die.”

Hinata’s heart stopped.

But he still knew the answer right away.

“I promise.”

Komaeda but only smiled softly as he set the phone back on the wall and was dragged away from the booth.

  


**————**

  


“Komaeda Nagito, or more popularly known as ‘The Ultimate Hope’... do you have any final words?”

The voice over the speakers _perfectly_ matched the man speaking from behind the glass in front of him.

_Gross_ . _Hopeless._

Komaeda could _feel_ the lack of respect this disgusting excuse of a man possessed.

“Final words, hm…?” Komaeda smiled, _purring_ his words as he narrowed his eyes. He thought deeply as he observed his body: The needle under his skin in his right arm, the typical prison jumpsuit, his limbs all strapped down _much_ to tightly.

Ha. Hahaha! They really went overboard, didn’t they? Komaeda was no monster, he was human, just like them.

They were the monsters, staring down at him in disgust.

He did the right thing for the past few years. He served his purpose in life. He did _exactly_ what he was meant to do.

And met the love of his life at the beginning of the end.

“My final words…” He hummed. “They’d have to be that… simply because you are killing my body, does not mean my ghost will vanish. I will live on among the people. You have caught me much too late.” A grin slowly grew on his lips. “I’m already being born once again. My story is nowhere near over. I was merely a placeholder for the _true_ Ultimate Hopes’ of the future. I started it, I was but only the beginning.” He looked the disgusting man behind the glass in the eye, glaring daggers, grin unwavering. “So go ahead. Kill me. I will never _truly_ be dead.”

Silence.

The man behind the glass cleared his throat, continuing on to growl, “Are you done?”

“Oh!” Komaeda’s eyes sparkled. “One last thing before I go!”

His face darkened.

“You’re next.”

The man was visibly startled for a moment before he collected himself and gave the “okay” to the executioners.

The poison was injected into Komaeda Nagito’s veins, and he died with a smile on his face, thinking of Hinata Hajime’s bright smile, soft skin and kind words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> skfjksfkshfkdlgkgkh


	20. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kamukura kamukura yas queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, schools been kicking my ass and i got sick yesterday :( heres the last chapter tho!! hope yall enjoy UwU

Hinata made a promise.

He didn’t break it.

  
  


**————**

  
  


Cheers rang out from the crowd around the boy, signs full of criticism and hatred of the police and government, death wishes to all that  _ spread despair _ .

The boy wore those same boots, pants, gloves, and skin-tight shirt; He sewed a new jacket, one with a longer cape to it, the hood heavier to hide more. The spear his love had once wielded was hanging on his wall at his new apartment, the new weapon of The Ultimate Hope being duel swords.

His mask… his mask was his  _ own _ .

Same red streaks from the eyes, but those eyes were now down-turned in anger, the writing on the forehead reading “legacy”, a purposeful crack at the jawline, two smalls horns stretching out from the top of the mask.

The  _ New _ Ultimate Hope, now dark hair over his shoulder in a ponytail, stood among the screaming, livid crowd in front of the city hall, officials standing outside, staring, mouths gaping like that of fish.

Ha.

_ Cowards. _

The boy spun one sword around in his hand before tossing it a bit and catching it to point at  _ one man,  _ far away, standing on the steps in fear.

“You’re next.” Once Hinata Hajime, now  _ Kamukura Izuru, _ whispered.

_ That… _ that was another promise.

And he was keeping it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the fuckin end :)))))))))
> 
> FEAR NOT CHILDREN, i have many more fics to publish!! look out for way too many one shots and a work in progress zombie apocalypse oumasai au!!!!
> 
> I WILL ALSO BE GIVING MY BETA READER AND EDITOR, JELLYJOY, ANOTHER SHOUT OUT!!!! PLEASE GO CHECK HIM OUT AND GIVE HIM SOME LOVE!!!! HES A GREAT DUDE AND IS V V TALENTED!!!!
> 
> JellyJoy has a message!!: 
> 
> Hello this is the beta-reader/editor! I am happy to see a lot of people enjoyed the fic :) I will continue to be the beta reader for these fics and I hope they will be enjoyed as well!

**Author's Note:**

> all of these chapters have been written ahead of time so sorry if the style varies throughout the story lajdskjfkskf ive been working on this since january 2019 ;;w;;
> 
> ALSO!! pls check out my GORGEOUS BETA READER AND EDITOR, JellyJoy !! hes amazing, a great bro, ily bitch mwah mwah <3 UwU


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